From Yes-Person to Self-Preserver: A Necessary Shift

We can be busy, and we can be in overload.

Remember when we were younger and wore the overwhelming workload as a badge of honour, burning the midnight oil, prioritising work. Or maybe it was living life to the full, working hard and playing hard.

It felt good.

I used to be that person. Until I burnt out. When I was in such a state of overwhelm that my body wanted to close down.

I used to say I was a recovering workaholic, but it can still be there. Hovering in the background.

Back in the past, working long hours, not sleeping enough and still with a social life was my norm.

Now I want a more peaceful life, I want time in my wood, time just to be, time to read a book, and go for a walk. To do the things that nourish me.

And occasionally I forget that part of me.

We all know we have things going on – work related, health related, family related, and personal to us.

With age I’m aware of things creeping up on me.

How life can run out of control. Taking on too many social commitments and saying yes to interesting projects.

I had to stop.

To say no.

To delay something.

To breathe and realise that the deadline of something was of my own making.

And that’s a sign of the wisdom we gain from ageing.

And by the way, if you wanted a time out, I’m running a small retreat in my private wood in Gloucestershire 4-6 October. Very basic, but a time away from screens and time alone with my trees, let me know if this resonates with you. Only 4 places and 1 is already taken.

Till next time, Denise

Dr Denise Taylor is on a mission to reclaim, reframe (and rethink!) retirement. It is not retiring and slowing down but a new phase of life where we have more freedom and flexibility to live a life the way we want.

Denise has been involved in retirement planning for almost 40 years. At 64 she gained her doctorate having researched how people find meaning in life after full-time work. To share this widely her latest book – Rethinking Retirement for Positive Ageing is on sale, published by Routledge. Dr Denise is a Chartered Psychologist, and also a wilderness rites of passage guide combining her interest in transitions and ritual with a love of nature. Beyond her work she gains great fulfilment through owning a private wood.