The Fundamental Experience that changed my life...

10 years into coaching today!

Back in October 2011, my dear friend Lidewy (Li) Isings told me at a detour of a conversation: "Xavier, you've been mentoring quite a few new employees in the past. You should maybe look into coaching. I'm doing this coaching training called Co-active coaching at the Co-Active Training Institute . Maybe that could be something for you? "

I said "Yes, I'll look into it..." and of course, did nothing of the sort. Then 2 months later, she mentioned that course to me again and said she was having a blast attending it. Again, she asked me to look into it and this time I said "Yeah, yeah" and... didn't bat an eye lash.

So when in March 2012, she mentioned the course again I said to myself :"OK this is the third time coming from a person very respectful of personal spaces and quite intuitive... So... What's in it for me?" I went on the Website and - as with many occurrences in my life that have been life-changing - felt a gigantic intuitive hit within me. I remember thinking: "Wow, this is for me and I don't really know what this is?!?" Without thinking any further, I registered for the whole curriculum, not having set foot in my whole life in a psychology or coaching course. On an impulse. The second decision I took was to pay for the whole tuition fees with private money. I didn't want to owe anything to my employer and ask for a training grant. "This is something I'm doing for myself", I thought. "I want to be able to look back one day to this event and remember that I shifted my future without on my own terms." That and a burnt credit card. :-)

Next thing I know we are on Friday afternoon, September 21, 2012 in Heidelberg. I am attending the co-active fundamentals course with 12 other beautiful participants. Johann Entz-von Zerssen and Ute Kueffner MCC, CPCC, MBA are the co-leaders of the course. The afternoon unfolds. We learn how to listen on 3 levels and how to ask powerful questions. I'm going back to my hotel room in the evening. As I am writing these lines, I'm reliving in my body the way I felt on that day.

Lost. Confused. Challenged. With no knowledge to hold on to. And deep deep joy. Deep deep joy. Elated. Happy beyond words. Touched at the core.

I'm a software and telecom engineer by training. My fellow participants were for the most part in Human Resources or had done years of education in psychology or personal development. I was the new kid on the block, Most of my meetings were with a beamer and a laptop open, half-listening to what was going on and doing emails ans producing slides at the same time. Just being seated with no laptop in a U shape was a revelation.

This is what I vividly remember every time I lead workshops today. That feeling of being completely taken aback just by the format of such workshops. That feeling of discovery when someone truly listens to you and you to them. These first hours into that world.

There's a part of me who would like not to know coaching at all to have the chance to live again that first experience, a bit like you the first time you make love to your soulmate. Discover again that feeling of deep joy - that still exists when I have the chance to coach fellow humans - and yet morphed into something else. Like a long-time companion.

To this day I hold co-active fundamentals as one of the best (if not the best) workshops that has ever been designed and delivered. Why? Because it contains in 2 and a half days that are like seeds for many other fields of knowledge and wisdom. Fields that one may explore at its own rhythm, pace and choice. It's a magical course: full stop. Henry and Karen Kimsey-House : thank you!

On the way, I had the chance to meet extraordinary beings. People who have been my mentors and enlightened the path with their presence and soul. Among them: Marla Skibbins MCC, CPCC , Elizabeth Ellis PCC, CPCC, Coach Business Mentor , Daniel Poch-Executive Coaching , Elaine Jaynes (RIP), Dr. Okokon O. Udo, CMC, CMS, PCC, CPCC Liberto Pereda , WindEagle Kinney-Linton , Nathalie Ducrot, Global Leadership Coach and finally Karen Kimsey-House (getting to know you felt like going full circle).

To all the people I had the chance to co-lead with and went emotional places with, it's a been a ride! I made you cope with a lot when I am at my most "humour" type. Feeling grateful for the highs and the lows and everything in between really. To the ones I've nurtured and healed: thank you. To the ones I've hurt and offended: I apologize. Among them my fellow Human-Centric Leaders and the wise humans I had the chance to co-lead with more than once.

Mary Jeanne Cabanel, MBA, PCC, CPCC Margo McClimans Catherine Goodrich Tanja Kully, CPCC Julie Leitz Ana María Valenzuela Tardel , Silvia Wolf Marc Schoenes Deepa Natarajan , Donatella Canella, PhD, CPCC, PCC Dr Thomas Teichler Pam Kowalski, PhD, CPCC Anick Hamon Betsy Parayil , Thierry Carré , Sylvia Rohde-Liebenau, PhD , Holger Nauheimer and Hervé Essa .

Life has shifted. Life has emerged in the way it was supposed to happen, at the time it was meant to happen. I'm dancing with its flow. My hands are open.

I'll keep navigating. I'll keep focusing on putting humans at the center of workplaces. I'll keep wanting to evoke transformation.

It's important. It's vital. It's meaningful work.

It's the path...

PS: I'm eager to listen from anyone I had the chance to meet along the way. Let's celebrate these 10 years together. Your presence mattered and taught me so much! Feel free to share a comment...

Xavier - Whispering Heart