GARAGE SALES IN THE ERA OF THE PANDEMIC

Today was my two-month anniversary going to garage sales with my wife.

I’ll try anything during the pandemic.

In Alpine, California, Saturday and Sunday garage sales have adapted to the pandemic. Most buys and sellers now wear masks, even though Alpine is one of the most conservative towns in the U.S. There is the occasional “free-dumb lover” who foregoes wearing a mask, but Sandi and I avoid them as we explore items for sale. Anger or political debate would interfere with our mission. One seller, seeking to scorn my use of a mask, informs me she has already conquered Covid so she doesn’t need to wear one. I smile and quickly ignore her as she expounds on the Covid hoax. I am too eager to sift through her tables of cool shit to remind her that she can test positive a second time or infect us, her clientele. I stay focused. No one’s listening to her.

Every third house in Alpine displays a “Trump 2020 flag.” Today’s garage sale host had his Trump 2020 bumper sticker glued to his garbage can. How appropriate. A flag we saw today was inscribed with “Trump: God, Guns, and Country.” We leave politics inside our rig, along with our dog Rocco, as we approach the garage sale on foot. I want to buy the Trump 2020 flag from the garage sale host, but Sandi talks me out of it. We must remain focused on buying the $1 movie video, record albums, iron work, baskets, and the occasional Italian-made dish or pottery.

As an ethnographer by training, I’ve been gathering notes to conduct an informal ethnographic study. There is indeed a culture of garage sale hosting and purchasing. Let me share my notes on garage sale signs, for example, which are designed to attract junk aficionados like me and Sandi.

Norms and values of good garage sale signage

1.    The good sign is posted in various strategic locations (intersections, for example) designed to lure buyers like us. The first starts 2 miles from the site, followed by more signage every half mile. Signs are designed to entice the garage sale addict.

2.    The successful sign is orange or neon green marked up with thick black magic markers.

3.    Signage should be in the same color; the use of multiple colors for the same garage sale confuses buyers making them think there are two garage sales instead of one.

4.    Directional arrows should be included on each sign. The lack of an arrow this morning led us two miles out of our way.

5.    Signs in Alpine is de rigueur in English. No Spanish, Arabic, Chinese or Vietnamese signage is tolerated.

6.    Signage should be taken down at the end of the garage sale. Old signage brings buyers false hope.

As we approach each garage sale, Sandi and I grade the quality of the signage. Most garage sale hosts earn an A. Today’s host a D-.

In my last two garage sales, I buy ski poles to use for my challenging mountain hikes and 100 feet of industrial rope to resell to workout fanatics. On my way up El Cajon Mountain, several hikers laugh at my yellow ski poles, but I smile at them like I do at Trump flag hosts at most Alpine garage sales.

My poles only cost a dollar; their REI poles cost them close to a hundred.