Gathering Your Allies

Hi there 👋🏽. Ready to lead? "Acts of Leadership" helps people, (irrespective of title or tenure), expand their leadership range one experiment at a time. Each issue shares a [pro/e]vocative definition of leadership, an idea and an experiment.

You never travel alone

When you set out to create something important you will of course encounter challenges on the road.

You don't have to travel alone.

You shouldn't travel alone.

When you're creating something so big you know success will require transformation, you'll want allies to aid your journey. Willing accomplices that bring the requisite variety you'll need to navigate the bumps and stay the course.

Here's the good news.

You already have allies

They are part of you, the multi-faceted resourcefulness you embody at different times. Developing these resources is part of the work I support leaders with. There's been a lot of it recently in new coaching partnerships.

A Definition…

"Leadership is... gathering your allies."

An Idea…

Allies, not saboteurs

You're familiar I'm sure with the voices of your saboteurs.

The Inner Critic and the Perfectionist. Maybe it's the Procrastinator or the People-Pleaser. Or the Hyper-Vigilant one constantly alerting you to danger and threat.

They're real enough for sure and part of you.

And you are much more.

Those voices are saboteurs, not allies. Mo Gawdat calls his inner critic 'Becky'. Given that they spend so much time together he likens her to a school-age best friend. A terrible friend that never has anything good to say. Why would you choose to hang out with a friend like that?

Meet the Crew

But we're here to cultivate allies on your quest.

Those parts of you that show up when you're at your shining and brilliant best.

You may call them allies, your board of advisors or your ship's crew. The voices– the parts of you that bring wisdom, knowledge and skill. They help you make high-quality decisions and judgments.

When I think about my best work, my most rewarding and fruitful collaborations, here are some of the voices I call on. Maybe you have versions of these.

💛 The Appreciator

Given any situation or experience, this part of me finds the 1% or 2% to appreciate. It usually brings either perspective, learning or gratitude. Typically I can access this ally easily. Sometimes it can be challenging and sometimes it takes time. The Appreciator helps me move from feeling like a victim to feeling I am a creator. It helps create space and choice.

💛 The Warrior Climber

I've spent 30+ years learning the mental training required for climbing; for bringing focus and self-management in objectively dangerous surroundings; for finding control in amongst fear.

This voice brings discipline and impeccable attention. It helps banish the ego and tames my inner dialogue when fear sets in.

💛 The Forensic Accountant

Who doesn't love a good spreadsheet full of data and formulas? This ally has limitless energy for detail and modelling different potential outcomes.

💛 The Mountain Guide

This part of me is always a welcome visitor. It's when I feel most grounded and confident in my skills and knowledge. I know what I know and I know that it's enough. It's the in-y-my-bones knowledge of being able to navigate novel situations.

💛 The Stoic Gambler

This ally grounds me. It brings humility and keeps me from entitlement.

No one escapes suffering. And to quote the great Kenny Rogers' song, verse 4 of "The Gambler",

	the secret to survivin
	is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep
	'cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser  
	and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep"        

💛 The Performer

As a kid, I had a dream of being an actor. There are many reasons that would have been a difficult path. The performer is still in here somewhere though. Occasionally I get to call them forth and I stand strong in my power. Self-belief, self-confidence, holding a room, knowing my stuff and knowing my skills.

Thresholds

When you start out to create something truly important, hoping to create something better than you can imagine, you will arrive at thresholds. You'll have to call on all your allies to step across and move forward.

This week I saw the shift in thinking that occurred when a client connected with their ally of 'the kickboxer' - an energy similar to my Warrior Climber.

When they embodied the kickboxer they accessed balance and flow, focus and self-awareness. They reeled off a list of new possibilities and options for themselves. They went from feeling stuck and wanting to find perspective to having an abundance of choice and feeling empowered, back in the driving seat.

They did this all for themselves in the space of about 3 minutes.

Your allies are powerful sources of agency and change.

An Experiment…

🎯 Begin building your group of inner Allies.

Think back to your best work. Your peak experiences.

When everything worked out exactly as you wanted

When you felt flow and ease. When you stood in your confidence and self-belief.

• Who were you being? What skills and capabilities did you access?
• What did you believe then? What perspective did you hold?

Your answers will be clues to the different aspects of your personality that supported you in creating those outcomes.

🎯 Connecting to these different allies in times of need is a capability you want as muscle memory, for instant access in times of need. Rehearsal and practice is key.

So pick 1 ally, and consciously connect with them 3 times day over the next week.

Feel what you felt when they were present before. Stand how they stand. Speak how they spoke. Move how they moved. Embody their essence. Notice what changes for you when you do this.

An invitation to explore…

📗 Book: Solve for Happy : Mo Gawdat

📗 Book: Dare To Lead : Brene Brown

⏯️ Podcast: How To Fail with Elizabeth Day and Mo Gawdat (61 mins)

Leadership needn't be lonely!

Lead when ready!

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