Getting comfortable with laziness – the upside of covid lockdowns?

Let’s face it – it’s dangerous to talk about laziness. The word is usually used with a tone of disdain and no one wants it used to describe them. I almost feel a little sorry for the word – we seem to have no place for it in the Western world.

In our drive to be productive, useful, and successful… we got busy. And we realised somewhere along the way that busy was valued. We all know the turn of phrase ‘If you want it to get done, give it to a busy person’.  But like most things we value, we can overdo it!

And if nothing else, covid lockdowns taught us we have an unhealthy relationship with being busy.

One of the under estimated hardships about lockdown for some of the leaders, teams, parents and young people I spoke to was the ‘boredom’ or ‘tedium’ factor. In part, this was felt more acutely by us because we are pretty good at being ‘busy’ but we don’t know how to do ‘lazy’.

Because our lives had been so busy, for so long… we didn’t know what to do. Yes there was anxiety about covid-19, about the uncertainty of our future, about the health and livelihood of our families…but there was also anxiety about ‘how the heck am I going to fill all these hours in lockdown at home!’

It’s pretty clear by the busy lifestyles we had been leading pre-covid that being lazy is not something we are used to… and this impacted us in different ways. Some people learned the value and nature of laziness and found a place for it in their lives; whilst others railed against it and created endless lists, new hobbies and tasks to keep them going. But there was an anxiety that sat below the endless lists and tasks… it was the unspoken fear of what might happen if we stop.

And this is a fear that sits at the edge of our consciousness, that I’ve heard many leaders and parents share – ‘if I stop the whole lot could collapse’. There’s a sense that life would not go on, that if we stop or slow down or rest, we might not have the energy to keep going. Being lazy for a moment feels like a threat… feels like it could just undo the effort of a lifetime!

And even writing about being lazy feels threatening… like I might ‘catch’ the lazy bug and it might ‘slow me down’. Thankfully I have lived through times when life has forced me to get off the treadmill so ‘lazy’ feels less scary, but there is still the prickle of self-talk urging me to be productive, contribute well, do something useful! And I know I am not alone in this thinking.

And yet towards the end of lockdown many parents talked openly about the relief of not driving children to sports, hobbies, parties; the value of having ‘unrushed’ evenings and weekends together; and that being at home showed us we can do life differently.

For some, lockdown is not a great example of valuing or appreciating laziness. It was such a negative experience that there is a part of us that wants to deny it happened and just get back to ‘normal’ life. For others, it provided some time to reflect on what is most important in life and has resulted in some changes. And for many, those changes mean their lives are less busy.

What we miss from ‘lazy time’ and creating pause is the capacity to reflect, review and really think well about what we are doing. It helps shift ourselves from humans doing to human beings again. 

So if we want to invite some ‘lazy, hazy moments’ into our lives to rest and restore…when is laziness to be encouraged?

·     In the company of good friends lounging together in the afternoon/ evening when being lazy is more appreciated than being the perfect host

·     When we are tired, especially that ‘bone-tired’ weariness that seems to emanate from our whole being (mind, body, heart, soul). Being lazy is essential at this time.

·     Day dreaming. Dreaming about the next phase of our life. What are we hoping for, looking to, working towards. What’s the vision of our life in our mind - hypothesising and potentialising need time and space to form.

·     When the mood takes us. Usually this is when we have been so busy operating one way in the world that we need to recalibrate. We have a sense that we need to rest and restore before we ‘go again’. It is vital we listen at these times.

·     When we feel like a nap. A desire to nap is a sign we are tired. Giving into this may feel like laziness, but for those of us who partake in the odd nap, we have learned they are essential for us to operate well for the rest of the day.

·     Sleeping in. We all know the feeling of not being ready to get out of bed. Giving into this every so often feels like a luxury of laziness. Embrace it and don’t beat yourself up afterwards for all the things you could have done if you got out of bed at your usual time. (Warning: this is not to be an everyday occurrence )

And now let’s get a little serious for a moment. Being lazy all the time is as bad for us as being busy all the time. There are mental health implications either way. Finding the right balance for ourselves is essential. Negotiating our needs with the folks we live and work with is important. 

Lockdown has given us an opportunity to re-set if we choose to take it. It’s time to bring back the art of being lazy, restful, and restorative… to then feel the potential, energy and creativity that arises from it. 

What are the lazy moments you treasure that provide balance, potential or creativity to your life?

Beck Henshall,

Beck Henshall Collaborations Pty Ltd

Beck is a psychologist, facilitator, trainer and coach supporting leaders and teams to work at their best, build effective teams, and contribute to positive workplace cultures.