Getting into the game

Under the gun. Behind the eightball. On the button. Terms applied to the workday world conjured from childhood games are conjured into the nightmare stuff of adulthood. And conjure is exactly the right word.

The imagination, our bastion of individualism regardless of any divisor - race, creed, color, gender, economic status, the nation of origin, background, or culture... is something that we don't talk about nor seem even to acknowledge. I mean, we all have imaginations, don't we?

It tracks, therefore, that this common trait means that regardless of all the divisors, we are unified under them all by something other than the sheer coincidence of cohabitation.

Our commonality is the key to community.

We spawn the same way. We are birthed into the world and must be raised, educated, civilized, and acculturated. I find it fascinating that there is a single series of tones instantly recognized by all children, regardless of upbringing...

"Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah;

Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah Nyah, Nyah!

Denmark, France, Israel, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Mexico, Turkey, South Africa, Canada, Australia, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Serbia, Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, United Kingdom, Poland, and Iceland all have allegorical words to this ditty. Expanding to the concept, if not the sound, there are dozens more countries. I find this compelling because it shares a single fundamental emotion that we seemingly agree to understand, no matter from where on the globe we come.

We all are bad winners.

This tone sequence, this taunt, is almost universally a chiding from someone in a superior position, and we all can't stop doing it when we win. It is often said that the winners write the histories, and the losers are forgotten. This tracks because when we seem to have made inroads on the pathway to achieving something, instead of viewing the victory lap as a celebration of achievement, it is often looked upon with disdain.

We all take joy in the misery of others.

After all, it FEELS like this tone all over again. We don't LIKE losing, and therefore we cast shade on the victor, not because we did not measure up, but because their celebration feels like it depends on our failure.

This, my friends, is the cause of schadenfreude, the feeling that we get, not when we are particularly good in a competition, but when the competition suffers defeat, even if it isn't at our hand.

The two conditions - bad winners and schadenfreude, are both what I call tabletop perspectives. The queen on the chessboard is powerful, but when it is taken by the bishop or rook, knight or pawn, it doesn't get to feel anything - and that loss, if in the course of a solid strategy, actually serves the greater good of victory in the end. But the PLAYER who loses such a piece in the game may FEEL its loss at the moment and suffer the ramifications of being down one of the strongest pieces in his or her arsenal.

So it is a necessary evil that we have to be "on the marker," "down to the wire," and "on the final countdown" so that we have a few moments to reflect on our position as we advance. Are we prepared to win gracefully, acknowledging the strength, character, and value of our defeated opponents, or will we dance at their funerals, wave flags in their faces, and make a general nuisance of ourselves? Are we prepared to shake their hands, bump their fists, joyously acknowledge the sheer exhilaration of competition we both experienced, or are you going to look for something else to blame, or even worse, condemn yourself for poor performance or your opponents for cheating somehow?

Remember, be good to each other, even when you lose. Or win.

The principle of being at the tabletop in our conversations is that it gives us pause. We can experience precisely how the victory of ourselves or our opponents can affect our mood, our mode of operation, and our morality. High road, Low road, or flat-out ignorance of the opponent, it is in the winning that we measure our professionalism, purpose, and ultimately our pride. And that last one isn't based on the appellations we accept or demand but rather on the content of our character.

If you liked this article and want to build your character, Subscribe and share this newsletter, Follow me on LinkedIn, and 'friend' me on Facebook, @Jonathan G. Albin. If you didn't, thank you for your time reading it, and I hope to share something soon that resonates with you even better.

Jonathan Albin @NycosRPG