Getting Support: Do's and Don'ts for Finding Mentorship

Article written in collaboration with Rianna Kelly

Throughout our formative years, guidance seemed to flow effortlessly from every corner – parents, teachers, coaches – all helping us navigate life's twists and turns. But as we enter the workforce, that support is no longer automatic, and many of us, myself included, try to figure it out on our own. Thankfully, talks about mentoring are increasing, and there are a growing number of opportunities to speak to people for advice and guidance. There is hope for getting the support we need to have a successful career, no matter our definition of success. That said, finding a mentor isn’t always easy.

Have you found yourself on the hunt for a mentor, only to come up empty-handed? Or perhaps you've heard whispers of how a mentor can elevate your career but find yourself at a loss on where to start.

You’re not alone!

A LinkedIn poll run by Women in Data found that 87% of respondents had not found enough opportunities to be mentored by experienced professionals in their fields.

Like countless others, we too have embarked on the search for mentors time and time again. They’ve helped us craft our path, overcome challenges, see a different perspective, develop new skills, and even simply sort out our thoughts. With the passing years, we have in turn become mentors, supporting others trying to reach their career aspirations. In this article, we share our best suggestions to help you find a mentor.

Before reaching out

Don’t: reach out without having a clear idea of what you want to be mentored on

Mentoring someone takes time, and time is a rare commodity in the reality we live. This means that when someone agrees to spend time with you, you need to make it worthwhile. One of the most frustrating things mentors experience is when a mentee doesn’t know what they want help with, or has too broad an area they ask for help with.

Do: identify specific areas where a potential mentor can help you and present a clear problem statement.

When contacting potential mentors

Don’t: obsess about finding an actual mentor

This might sound weird in a blog talking about how to find a mentor, however, people are likely to decline when you ask them to be your mentor. We blame it on the apprehension associated with the time commitment of mentoring, especially when the mentor doesn’t know the mentee.

Do: seek specific career support.

Getting help and guidance doesn’t have to be tied to weekly or monthly meetings. Depending on the situation, you can benefit from punctual advice without necessarily letting go of the idea of a longer-term relationship. You can achieve this by following the steps below:

1. Identify a problem you want to solve
2. Find a couple of people who are experts in the area
3. Ask them a specific question relating to your challenge
4. Try out the advice they gave you and report back
5. Go back to 1

By following these steps, you ensure that you:

• Get advice from someone who has lived experience dealing with the problem you are trying to solve
• Can create a long-term relationship with someone you look up to
• Show respect for someone else’s expertise
• Can get recommended to a different mentor if the one you approached isn’t available

If you still want to have formal mentoring, joining a mentoring program or using your network will be more efficient than reaching out to strangers.

Don’t: send a cold message asking for a mentor

“Hi, I’m trying to transition into a career in data and am looking for a mentor! When are you available for a call next week?”

Some mass sales techniques have crept into the way people message others on LinkedIn. After all, reaching out to a stranger can feel like a cold call in which one is trying to catch others' attention and book a meeting ASAP. We’re not in sales and can’t vouch for how successful these tactics are in that field, but they are too generic for the personal relationships required in mentoring

Do: research thoroughly the targeted mentor and write a personalized message mentioning the work they do and how their experience can help you.

You will want to:

• Show that you’ve been following their work
• Start to create a relationship
• Ask for mentoring only after you’ve done the first two

It can be time-consuming to find a mentor but taking the time early on to consider why you want to be mentored by this particular person will encourage a stronger mentoring relationship. Here’s a lovely example of a message that led to a positive outcome:

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Once you have a mentor

Don’t: expect to get it right the first time

For a mentor-mentee relationship to work, trust needs to be established. You also need to be able to relate to your mentor’s experience and ways of doing things. If their values are very different from yours, you will struggle to trust that their advice is the right one for you, and it will be counterproductive.

Do: iterate, try their advice, share feedback, show gratitude, try different mentors

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Ultimately, to find a mentor with whom you can work well, you will need to rely heavily on your network. Keep an eye out for our blog on networking coming out soon.

We would love to hear from you. What has been your experience looking for mentors like? What else have you tried that worked?💬