Getting your “ACT” together : Unlocking Psychological Flexibility

Remember the never-seen-before situation we found ourselves in a couple of years ago? Let me take you back to one crucial day during the lockdown that redirected my journey in profound ways.

In search of answers I didn’t have in a time I couldn’t make sense of, I turned to find answers in The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. What I found was a powerful premise: the pursuit of happiness often leads us to its opposite—and it’s overrated! In a time where the world felt like a spinning top about to tip over, this idea hit home. The more I chased happiness, the more elusive it became.

The book introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) by Stephen Hayes, which emphasizes psychological flexibility—the ability to be open, adaptable, and effective in the presence of challenging thoughts and feelings. ACT is about embracing feelings rather than fighting them, and it encourages living a meaningful life by focusing on values and committed action. This approach resonated deeply with me, and I began to see how it could be applied in therapy with clients.

ACT’s Hexaflex model consists of six interrelated processes: Acceptance, Cognitive Defusion, Being Present, Self-as-Context, Values Clarification, and Committed Action. Together, these processes enhance psychological flexibility and guide clients toward a more meaningful life.

Acceptance: Embracing What Is

Acceptance is often misunderstood. It’s not about condoning something or resigning to a situation, but acknowledging it as part of your reality. In therapy, clients frequently face overwhelming emotions such as grief, fear, or anxiety. These feelings can feel like waves crashing on the shore—intense, relentless, and impossible to navigate. But as clients learn to surf these waves, rather than resist them, they build greater resilience. For a client struggling with panic attacks, accepting the reality of their anxiety instead of fighting or labeling it, can help them regain control and feel less overwhelmed by the fear.

Cognitive Defusion: Detaching from Thoughts

One of the most powerful techniques in ACT is cognitive defusion—learning to separate ourselves from our thoughts. Clients often get wrapped up in mental stories, believing every negative thought defines their identity and the situation. For a client struggling with intrusive, self-critical thoughts like "I’m not good enough," defusion might include visualizing these thoughts as bubbles floating away in the sky. Over time, they learn not to engage with these thoughts or take them as absolute truths. Instead of saying, "I’m not good enough," they can learn to say, "I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough." This shift helps them distance themselves from the thought, making it easier to choose a different, more compassionate response.

Being Present: Mindfulness in Therapy

In therapy, mindfulness is about being non-judgmentally present in the here and now. For clients dealing with chronic worry and ruminations, mindfulness techniques can be incredibly helpful. Practicing simple grounding exercises—like noticing the sensation of their feet on the floor or the sound of their breath moving in and out—allows them to harness the power of the present moment and find stability in chaos. Mindfulness also creates space for clients to notice and observe their thoughts, emotions, and sensations without being consumed by them.

Self-as-Context: The Observer Self

The concept of self-as-context helps clients view themselves as the observer of their thoughts and feelings, rather than identifying with them. This shift is life-changing for clients who feel consumed by their emotions. When clients struggle with difficult emotions, they often feel as though their sadness defines them. Through self-as-context, clients learn to see their problem as an experience rather than  something that defines them. For example, a client overwhelmed with social anxiety might learn to separate themselves from the thought “I’m awkward,” and instead recognize, “I’m experiencing anxiety right now.” This shift creates the space to respond more skillfully, without being controlled by their feelings.

Values Clarification: What Truly Matters

ACT encourages clients to clarify their values—what truly matters to them. In therapy, when clients face difficult life events—like a breakup, job loss, or family conflict—they often feel lost or disconnected. Reflecting on their core values can help them reconnect with their sense of purpose. For my client experiencing a breakup, reflecting on their value of  personal growth helped them gain clarity and move forward. By identifying what truly matters—whether it’s family, creativity, or connection—clients can realign their actions with their values, even when life feels uncertain.

Values clarification can also help clients identify areas where their actions might be out of alignment. This insight can lead to meaningful changes in priorities and behaviors, such as setting boundaries at work or making more time for self-care.

Committed Action: Taking Steps Aligned with Values

The final piece of ACT is committed action—taking intentional steps aligned with one’s values, even when it feels uncomfortable or difficult. It’s about making progress, not striving for perfection. In my work with a client struggling with social anxiety, we worked towards setting small, manageable goals that aligned with their values—such as joining an online group or reaching out to a friend. Over time, these small steps build confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

Taking steps, even if imperfect, helps build momentum and move closer to larger goals, reinforcing the idea that growth is possible—even in the face of fear.

ACT is a gift that keeps on giving, with so many contexts and situations it can be applied to. While grounding our therapeutic work in its foundations can be immensely fruitful, it can also be personally impactful. It allowed me to reflect on my values during the lockdown and shift my perspective from doom to committed action. I leaned into my value of connection and found new ways to stay in touch with loved ones.  With this, my hope is that it allows you to dive deeper with your clients and also with your own self, and that it helps you get your ACT right.