The Gift of a Fresh Start: Preparing for a Post-Holiday Split

This family law article was initially published on the Barrows Firm website on November 19, 2024, at https://bit.ly/3Oi1xzY.

The holiday season is often a time of joy and celebration, but for many couples facing a strained marriage, it can also be a challenging period. In Texas, it’s common for parents to wait until after the holidays to file for divorce, choosing to maintain family traditions for the sake of their children. If you’re considering a fresh start in the New Year, using the months of November and December to prepare emotionally and logistically can make the process smoother.

At The Barrows Firm in Southlake, Texas, Leslie Barrows and her team of experienced divorce attorneys understand the complexities of divorce and are here to help you navigate this challenging time. Below, we explore why many parents choose to wait until after the holiday season to file for divorce and how you can use this time to prepare for the changes ahead.

Listen to Leslie’s Ideas on Our Podcast: Surviving the Holidays During Divorce and Custody Trials: Tips for Families

Why Wait Until After the Holidays?

The decision to delay a divorce until after the holiday season is a personal one, but there are common reasons why many parents make this choice:

1. Preserving Holiday Traditions for the Kids

For parents, the well-being of their children is often a top priority. Waiting until after the holidays allows families to enjoy one last holiday season together before introducing significant changes. This approach helps create a sense of stability and continuity for children, who may already be feeling anxious about the future.

2. Managing Holiday Stress

The holidays can be stressful under the best of circumstances, with travel plans, family gatherings, and financial pressures. Adding a divorce to the mix can amplify this stress, making it difficult for parents to focus on creating a positive holiday experience for their children. By waiting until the New Year, couples can avoid additional holiday tension.

3. Practical Timing for a Fresh Start

The New Year often symbolizes a time for fresh beginnings and resolutions. Many couples find that filing for divorce in January aligns with their desire to start the year with a clean slate. This timing also allows them to use the final months of the year to prepare emotionally and logistically, ensuring a smoother transition.

Psychology Today: Divorce Can Create Added Stress for Everyone at the Holidays 

How to Prepare for a Post-Holiday Divorce

If you’re considering filing for divorce after the holidays, taking proactive steps in November and December can set the stage for a less stressful process. Here are some ways to prepare:

1. Consult with a Family Law Attorney

One of the first steps you can take is to consult with an experienced family law attorney like Leslie Barrows at The Barrows Firm in Southlake, Texas. Understanding the divorce process in Texas and your legal rights is essential to making informed decisions. An initial consultation can help you outline your goals and create a timeline for the coming months.

2. Organize Financial Documents

Gathering financial documents is crucial to preparing for a divorce. This includes bank statements, tax returns, mortgage information, retirement accounts, and any other relevant financial records. Having these documents ready will save time and make negotiations smoother when the divorce process begins.

3. Plan for Child Custody Arrangements

If you have children, consider how you want to handle custody arrangements. Think about what will be in the best interest of the children, and begin developing a tentative co-parenting plan. This may include discussing holiday schedules, school routines, and extracurricular activities.

4. Consider Counseling and Emotional Support

Divorce is an emotionally challenging process, even when both parties agree it’s the right decision. Consider seeking counseling or therapy to help you process your emotions and prepare for the changes ahead. Some couples choose to attend counseling together to navigate the transition as amicably as possible.

5. Think About Living Arrangements

If you plan to move out or sell the family home, start considering your options now. This may involve looking for a new place to live, preparing the home for sale, or discussing who will stay in the family residence. Having a plan in place will make the transition easier for both you and your children.

Hypothetical Scenarios: How Families Might Prepare for a Post-Holiday Divorce

To provide a clearer picture of what this preparation might look like, here are some hypothetical scenarios of families facing a post-holiday divorce:

Scenario 1: Preparing While Living Together During the Holidays

Sarah and Mike have been married for 15 years and share a home in Southlake with their three children. They both know the marriage isn’t working, but they agree that announcing a divorce during the holidays would be too disruptive for the kids. They decide to maintain a united front through the season while using the quiet moments to get ready for the divorce.

Here’s how they prepare:

• Financial Readiness: Sarah and Mike discreetly open separate bank accounts and begin saving a portion of their income for legal fees and upcoming expenses. They also pull a copy of their credit reports to get a clear picture of joint and individual financial obligations.
• Child Custody Planning: While they continue to celebrate family traditions, they have private discussions about the best custody arrangements for the children, agreeing to prioritize their kids’ school stability and extra-curricular activities.
• Consulting with a Counselor: To help manage the emotional challenges, they both agree to individual counseling during the holiday season. This allows them to process their feelings and approach the upcoming changes with a clearer mindset.

Psychology Today: Top 3 Holiday Mistakes Newly Divorce or Divorcing People Make

Scenario 2: Strategic Planning to Protect Assets and Interests

David and Lisa are a couple with significant financial assets, including a family-owned business and multiple real estate investments in Texas. They’ve decided to divorce but want to ensure the split is fair and does not disrupt the business. They choose to wait until after the holidays to finalize their decision and take the time to plan strategically.

Here’s their approach:

• Business Considerations: During the holiday season, David meets with his business accountant to gather relevant financial data on the family-owned business. This allows him to have a clear understanding of the company’s value before negotiations begin. Lisa, on the other hand, meets with a financial advisor to understand her options and protect her interests.
• Gathering Evidence: Both David and Lisa quietly collect documentation that might be relevant to the divorce, including emails, contracts, and property deeds. They are careful to avoid tipping each other off during this preparatory stage to ensure they have all the necessary information.
• Child Support and Alimony Discussions: In anticipation of negotiations, they meet with Leslie Barrows to discuss potential child support and alimony arrangements. By understanding Texas guidelines and preparing their financial documentation early, they enter January ready to move forward with confidence.

Scenario 3: Preparing for a Divorce with a Blended Family

John and Emily, both in their second marriage, have a blended family with four children—two from Emily’s previous marriage and two they’ve had together. Over the past year, tension has been building due to differences in parenting styles and financial disagreements. They decide to wait until after the holidays to pursue a divorce, hoping to provide stability for their children and stepchildren during the festive season.

Their preparation includes:

• Communicating with Ex-Spouses: Emily decides to have an honest conversation with her former spouse about the upcoming changes, making sure they’re on the same page regarding co-parenting expectations for their two children. This helps lay the groundwork for a smooth transition once the divorce proceedings start.
• Preparing the Home: John and Emily begin the process of decluttering and organizing their shared home, anticipating a future sale. They work together to divide household items quietly so the children don’t sense the upcoming change. This helps them start the New Year with a clearer sense of what items each will keep.
• Seeking Legal Guidance: They meet with Leslie Barrows at The Barrows Firm to understand how Texas law handles custody arrangements in blended families. This consultation helps them make informed decisions and draft a tentative co-parenting plan, focusing on what’s best for all the children.

Seeking Legal Guidance: Why The Barrows Firm is Here to Help

Preparing for a divorce can feel overwhelming, especially when children are involved. However, with the right legal guidance, you can navigate this process with greater ease. At The Barrows Firm in Southlake, Texas, Leslie Barrows and her team of experienced divorce lawyers are dedicated to helping parents make informed decisions about their future. From understanding the divorce process in Texas to developing effective co-parenting plans, the attorneys at The Barrows Firm are here to support you every step of the way.

Contact The Barrows Firm Today

If you’re considering a post-holiday divorce, now is the time to start preparing. Schedule a consultation with Leslie Barrows at The Barrows Firm to discuss your options and create a plan that’s right for you and your family. Don’t wait until the stress of the holidays is over—begin your journey towards a fresh start today.