Gimme a Break

I remember watching an episode of HBO’s Insecure, and one of my favorite characters, Kelli, played by the brilliant Natasha Rothwell, had this unforgettable moment. She’s at a birthday party, runs into Issa Rae’s ex, Lawrence, and when he asks how she’s doing, Kelli responds: “Everyone I associate with is thriving in abundance, limitless.”

The delivery was hilarious and pure genius. For a while, I used that line constantly because, really, why shouldn’t we all be thriving in abundance?

But let’s unpack that for a moment.

According to Webster’s dictionary, “thrive” means:

1. To grow vigorously: flourish
2. To gain in wealth or possessions: prosper
3. To progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstance

In our culture, the pursuit of the American Dream—thriving in abundance—is often seen as the ultimate goal. And to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with being successful or ambitious in striving for more. In fact, it’s what fuels many of us “Strivers”—a term Dr. Arthur Brooks uses to describe those who chase success, often defined by career, status, and recognition. This drive pushes us to work harder, faster, and smarter to achieve our goals.

My pastor recently shared his “Blueprint for Thriving". It's a beautiful list of the things he believes most people aspire to: emotional resilience, passion for life, healthy relationships, and so on. But I have to ask, do most of us really have those things in our lives?

Blueprint for Thriving:

• Emotional Resilience
• Passion for Life (What do you do for fun?)
• Healthy Relationships
• Vital Health & Wellness
• Continual Personal Growth

I’ll be the first to raise my hand to admit that during the moments in my life when I thought I was “thriving in abundance,” I wasn’t always emotionally resilient. I thought I had a passion for life, but if you’d asked me what I did for fun, I wouldn’t have had a clear answer. Were my relationships healthy? Let’s just say, not all of them.

While I was outwardly thriving, I was also lacking in many of the areas that I now know bring true and lasting happiness. What I was missing was balance—and I didn’t even realize it until I found myself exhausted and unfulfilled.

When Kelli said her friends were “thriving in abundance,” we all knew she was projecting. None of the characters on Insecure were living that truth either.

So, how can we actually thrive in a way that’s sustainable and fulfilling? It starts with shifting our perspective and actions.

Tip 1: Set Limits

• Recognize your physical and mental limits.
• Set boundaries—those who get upset when you establish them are usually the ones who benefited from your lack of boundaries in the first place.

Tip 2: Take Breaks

• Embrace the work-rest cycle.
• Knowing your limitations doesn’t make you weak; it makes you wise.

In January 2023, I took my first real break in years—an entire month in Puerto Rico with my husband. We stayed in a small bed-and-breakfast right on the edge of the ocean. I ate, I slept, I reconnected with my spirituality. It was my own Eat Pray Love moment, and I came back restored and realigned. That pause was the reset I desperately needed.

As you all know, my friend Jean Batthany started a movement called “The Art of the Pause,” - a wellness platform designed to help people and companies create more time and space to be more creative and innovative. Witnessing up close and personal with her how she built this amazing platform had a huge impact on my journey.

Tip 3: Recharge Spiritually

• Whatever that means for you, lean into it.

I remember a friend of mine, a senior publicist, telling me about her silent retreats. I was intrigued—how could someone whose life revolves around constant conversation and pitching spend days in silence? But she explained that if she didn’t take that time to still her mind and reconnect with God, she’d lose herself. Her words stuck with me.

For me, sitting still on that beach in Puerto Rico was when I realized I had been trusting myself more than I was trusting God. My life was out of sync, and the balance I needed could only be restored by realigning my priorities.

So, as you consider how to truly thrive—not just in abundance, but in balance—remember this: It’s not about reaching the mountaintop and staying there. It’s about understanding that life is a journey of climbs, pauses, and descents. And sometimes, the most important step is knowing when to stop and take a break.

Because after all, thriving isn’t just about abundance—it’s about finding peace in the balance.

Go forth my Muse and be the way. I am rooting for you, always. If you would like to ask me a question, please go here and complete the form. I may feature you and your question in a Monday Morning Musing newsletter!

Musically yours,

Amani D.

Grit & Glory Agency. Let's work together.