Give a Damn: Experience Flies with Cushions + Care

Over 26 years, I have had the opportunity to observe and practice leadership in various organizations and settings. I learned lessons about what I thought worked powerfully and what fell flat. I made many mistakes and occasionally tried something that worked well. That set of experiences developed into a leadership philosophy, although I had not put words to describe it at that time. During COVID, the language to describe that philosophy landed, and I now describe it as “cushions and wings.”

Cushions describe how we create a nurturing space for human beings to thrive and feel belonging within our organizations. This includes providing support, sharing joy, creating experiences, taking time, inviting open dialogue, and sharing successes. This ensures we do not simply “pass each other by” in the hall or wave briefly on Zoom screens. This elevates a commitment to pay attention when times are rough and walk with one another through the light and dark moments.

Wings challenge and provide possibilities for team members to enjoy new experiences, opportunities, and stretch assignments. Leaders who support wings ensure the expansion of responsibilities, encourage failure within a framework, expect development plans, and challenge their team members to dream boldly about how they might grow as human beings. Many organizations focus on wings to the exclusion of cushions, and together, we can shape a culture of impact where people thrive and have what they need to change the world.

At Community Financial Credit Union , as we onboard new team members, I share space with those just starting their journey with us, and we explore this philosophy and why it matters to our organization and me. Regardless of our titles, I expect all of us to embrace this approach. I know that daily, one human being can change the course of a day and well beyond. In a world where technology enables so much, one of my biggest lessons during the height of COVID was just how much people need other people. We all need cushions.

I saw cushions in action this week. The unfortunate massive impact of the CrowdStrike software issue has been described by some, like Microsoft Regional Director and Microsoft Most Value Professional for Developer Security, Troy Hunt on X, as “the largest IT outage in history.” Organizations from financial institutions to airlines to coffee chains experienced negative impacts, and those impacts were global. 

While many airlines felt the pain from the CrowdStrike situation, Delta Airlines continued to have passenger effects well into this week. On Delta’s News Hub, CEO Ed Bastian shared on July 24 that “we have made good progress this week and the worst impacts of the CrowdStrike-caused outage are clearly behind us.” According to a CBS News piece entitled, “Delta faces federal investigation as it scraps hundreds of flights for fifth straight day,” “Delta has canceled more than 5,500 flights since the outage started early Friday morning, including more than 700 flights on Monday.”

I had work travel commitments this week. As a Detroiter, I am loyal to Delta. During my years at Filene Research Institute, I traveled extensively and experienced many travel ups and downs. As I read the headlines, I felt trepidation and concern heading to the airport. In contrast, I did not experience flight interruptions. I realize that I could easily have experienced the uncertainty and pain felt by many. I am sure some of you reading this have lackluster stories to share about your travel experiences this week, and my heart aches for those impacted.

Amid this, I saw a glimpse of light come to life on Tuesday, July 23, with a Delta Airlines team member who exemplified cushions and the incredible power of ownership and cushions.

As we boarded the flight heading home to Detroit, one of the flight attendants immediately acknowledged the negative passenger experience felt by so many. She thanked the passengers for their patience and owned that what had occurred thus far was painful. She was brief and sincere. During the flight’s descent into Detroit, she walked the entire plane. She stopped several times to talk to smaller groups of passengers. She apologized. She thanked passengers for choosing the airline. She expressed gratitude for the grace that passengers were showing. She also asked that we stick with the airline. She committed to learning and making the airline better in the future. One group of passengers clapped as she spoke. Her words and approach were meaningful and powerful.

This flight attendant had no control over the outage. She did not contribute to the problem and could not participate in the technical effort to fix it. However, she did play a role in solving it for Delta. Having flown more than once this week, it is clear this was not a mandate. She was not reading from a script. She took it upon herself to do what one person can do and to provide cushions to those who rely on her employer.

Unfortunately, life is full of imperfect moments. While most are not as widespread and lasting as the CrowdStrike situation, we skin our knees in each of our organizations, relationships, and homes. The long-term consequence of those falls has more to do with how we respond than the fall itself. Here are seven ways to replicate the compelling experience the Delta flight attendant created:

(1)   Give a Damn. Our Community Financial Credit Union experience team elevated this phrase to describe our commitment to member engagement. “Giving a damn” ensures that there is thoughtfulness and heart behind the actions we take. As the flight attendant approached her flight time with us, she considered what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and how to reinforce the message. She recognized the difference it would make to walk the hall and share that message with smaller groups. Her care helped people feel seen and heard.

(2)   Create Cushions. Cushions require intent. For many delivering service experiences, a tremendous amount of repetition is required in daily work. As we navigate our days and see people we love, care about, and work with, a casual daily “How are you?” can become routine and sometimes hollow. We may not pay close attention to the response or even notice that the tone of a disheartened “okay” might give clues to something not being okay. The flight attendant’s demeanor, intent, and purposeful approach created cushions on that segment and with the airline holistically.

(3)   Own It. Especially in complex organizations, it can be easy to resist ownership. If you did not cause the problem or cannot fix the problem, taking ownership can feel daunting and frustrating. One of the most essential steps in de-escalating a situation is to ensure that those you serve know you see the responsibility that each employee of an organization has for any organization’s errors. Many avoid saying “I’m sorry” or “We messed up,” even when that is very clear, and this lack of ownership can alienate those who have experienced the challenge. The flight attendant apologized and recognized the depths of the pain for those who had been stranded for some time.

(4)   Integrate Channels. This flight attendant could not shape the CrowdStrike impact on Delta and its passengers in this situation. However, she integrated her knowledge to form her approach. According to Harvard Business Review’s “Customer Experience Is Everyone’s Responsibility” by Hinds and Gupta, “Companies have tried to adapt to this digital-first, omnichannel environment for years. However, many have failed to create great, unified customer experiences. In the U.S., customer satisfaction ratings are at an all-time low, according to the American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI).” This flight attendant demonstrated the power of cross-channel integration. She owned the failures that occurred well outside of her control.

(5)   Empathize. This can be hard for subject matter experts or those with a different view of a situation they do not see as grave. Empathy mattered deeply in the Delta situation. A flight attendant may experience flight changes, delays, and complications so frequently that it would be easy not to see how jarring and upsetting it would be to someone who does not fly as often. This flight attendant acknowledged the turmoil that those on the plane might be experiencing by mentioning that she knew this could be upsetting plans, causing work interruptions, creating fatigue, and escalating uncertainty. Mirroring the emotions and feelings of those facing a tough challenge validates those experiences and helps people navigate their reactions.

Empathy impacts business results as well. According to a Catalyst article, “The Power of Empathy in Times of Crisis and Beyond,” by Tara Van Bommel, PhD, “empathy is an important driver of employee outcomes such as innovation, engagement, and inclusion—especially in times of crisis.”

(6)   Connect Emotionally. An emotional connection matters. A seasoned service professional may feel they’ve “seen it all.” It can be a coping mechanism to not dive into shared emotions in difficult service recovery situations to prevent work from feeling like a roller coaster. Meeting someone in their emotion extends the power of empathy and adds the potential for connection. The flight attendant was calm and measured. She did not escalate tensions through emotion. She did use humor once she’d demonstrated care and empathy. This caused some on the plane who were angry to start to shift to a more positive view.

(7)   Celebrate. At Community Financial Credit Union, we describe this as “huzzah.” Celebrating and rewarding the behaviors we wish to see leads to even more success. According to a Forbes article, “Management by Celebration: Getting Great Results The Fun Way,” by Dixon, “Leaders who celebrate with their teams help them understand the kind of behaviors and results that should be celebrated. It’s important to help the team make the link between what’s being celebrated and the celebration itself, especially for workers who are new to the workplace or new to working, in general.” The leader of this flight attendant has a huge opportunity to create even more success by commending this team member’s positive actions.

One flight attendant’s kindness and commitment do not minimize the missed meetings, family events, time with loved ones, or opportunity to decompress before another intense work obligation. It is an extraordinarily important moment, nonetheless. That flight attendant provided a cushion for Delta Airlines on Tuesday, July 23. She helped tired, frustrated, angry, sad, and overwhelmed passengers feel like someone cared. She left them with a memory of the airline, which is not about the mistake but about how a mistake can be healed. Imagine if every flight attendant stepped into that approach this week. Her cushion might give Delta wings.

How will you support the cushions and wings in your organization to help others thrive?