Giving Up -My Decision to have a Hysterectomy

I was holding on to my uterus like a small child's hand on a city street.

Here is what I did to hang on to the world my children resided in for nine months each.

For the past few months I visited my gynecologist on a weekly basis trying to get a hold of the pain that had become a daily part of my life. I finally went for a second opinion last week to my daughters gynecologist. A doctor that I recommend to anyone with surgical needs or gynecological cancer.

He did the most thorough exam of my life.

After a half hour of prodding, poking and questions, he asked me when I had time to get a hysterectomy. We talked about recovery and I scheduled for May 25th.

Driving home from his office, I thought about how smug I had been about being the only women in my immediate family who had kept her uterus past the age of forty. And then I tallied in my head the procedures and pain that I had suffered to hold that badge of honor.

2 laparotomy surgeries

4 laparoscopic surgeries

2 D&Cs.

acupuncture

energy medicine

cranial sacral therapy

massage, massage, and more massage

antibiotics and pain medication

I have traded years of anesthesia and agony in order for society to consider me to be a real woman .

(which is so bizarre, as society considers men without prostates or testicles real men)

The crazy things that you think you believe can be changed in a moment.

For me, every day I learn something new about myself and how I have let my point of view stop me from being the best I can be.

Maybe I needed to take out this piece of me, to find the better me.

I’ll let you know next week!

 * Update-4 days later. Already walked the dog, made a protein shake for breakfast, and have gone through over a hundred emails. Ready for a productive day in the office. Do I miss my uterus? What uterus? All is well.