Go for it! Detach and Commit - I

Before entering into battle, the protagonists of all great combat-stories first reconcile themselves with the real possibility that they will not survive the day’s fight. 

Examples:

• Honda Tadakatsu, the undefeated samurai 
• The company in The Lord of Rings facing the forces of Mordor
• Neo’s confronting The Agent in The Matrix
• The Israelites’ quitting slavery under Egypt’s Pharaoh for the uncertainty of the desert
• Helen Keller’s writing and activism, despite blindness and deafness

What allowed these people to countenance impossible odds and demonstrate remarkable fortitude was the fact that they knew they had nothing to lose. So they played full out.

• What will allow you to ask for your biggest sale ever
• hire new staff to handle the expanding business
• attend your first yoga class
• speak truth to the powers that be in your firm
• broach a fraught topic with your spouse

…is letting go of the you that won’t go there—as in your identity or ego. If you instead identify with your purpose and embrace the unknown, then you will go above and beyond your previous limitations to the land of fulfillment, happiness and wonder.

In the next several issues of the ListeningIsTheKey newsletter, we will explore both the DNA of detachment/freedom, and its relationship to off-the-charts success.

Let’s begin by observing that, although you might have changed the way you wear your hair, and although you might have lost a limb, and although you’ve regenerated every cell in your body since 2013, you are still you. And so, ask yourself:  Who or what am I that has not changed, even though the body has?

Observe also that, although you no longer believe in Santa Claus, and though you listen to very different music now, and although you’re considering voting for the other party in the upcoming election, you are still you. And so, ask yourself:  Who or what am I that has not changed, even though the mind has?

These observations demonstrate that you are conscious of the body and you are conscious of the mind; meaning, you are consciousness…whatever that is. The point is this:  All of the thoughts and emotions that currently hamstring your growth and development are all about your body or your mind. 

• Examples:“How will it look if I let go of those small accounts?” 
• “How many years do I have to survive on rice & beans before business takes off?” 
• “Am I too old to change careers?” 
• “I wish I had the big guys’ confidence.”
• “How do I get folks to invest with me without putting sales pressure on them?” 
• “I don’t believe that I could go away for two weeks and not have everything fall apart?”

You won’t know your full power to achieve what you want until you start living like there’s nothing to lose. What illusions are you maintaining about your identity? Hearing yourself play old recordings in your mind about who you are and what your life’s for, or about what you’re capable of, is crucial to seeing what aspects of the past must die for you to move on to new horizons. Listening is the key. ;-)

“What could you possibly mean,” you ask, “nothing to lose? What about my house, my reputation, my family and my dreams?”

No matter how hard you try, you can do nothing to prevent natural disasters, freak accidents, unfair disadvantages, and other peoples’ misaligned actions. You are indeed like the samurai who goes into battle ready to die; every morning you set out to serve your family and clients, and yet all you can control is what you make of it all, and who you are in the face of it.

In this installment, we talked about what you have to lose. In the next installment will see how accepting what-is allows you to spread your wings and fly. In the weeks following we’ll discover the courage to embrace the unknown (implied by breaking through the past), and we’ll practice staying detached/free in perpetuity.

***Visit The Coaching Hub (www.ListeningIsTheKey.com), where we are exploring a reality in which relations are what individuals are made of, rather than the other way around.***

I would be happy to guide you to detach and commit, or take up another topic you’d like to bring to coaching, in a Gift Session (i.e. no cost). Call me:  303 747 4449.

Yours truly,

Martin Kettelhut, PhD

ListeningIsTheKey.com

303 747 4449