🐐 The G.O.A.T. Triggers: From Void to Victory

This season of reflection has me thinking deeply about what inspires us—and what holds us back. We all have triggers. For some, it’s work stress, financial debt, or even financial wealth. For others, it’s relationships, isolation, depression, or anxiety. For many leaders, the void they feel is tied to their leadership itself, especially if they’ve bought into the lie that leadership is nothing more than influence.

Let me punch that definition square in the face: Leadership is not just influence. How’s that definition working for you in your real life? If leadership is only influence, what happens when the applause stops? What happens when the audience you need for validation isn’t there? Without a discipline to turn unhealthy triggers into healthy triggers, we’re left in the void.

Yes, I posted a picture that’s clearly not ready yet. If you’re actually reading this, congratulations—you’ve just discovered my secret talent for impatience and my uncanny ability to rush things faster than a kid unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning. Did I mention we have six kids? Stay with me.

The Triggers That Shaped Me

After high school, I joined the Army National Guard, seeking a way to pay for college and prove I was capable of more. During my freshman year, I was deployed to Iraq as an infantryman. That year was transformative, testing me in ways I couldn’t have anticipated.

I’ll never forget the flight home. Seeing the lights of the United States for the first time in over a year, Coldplay’s “Fix You” played in my head—a song my wife, Allie, and I loved. The memories of everything I had seen and experienced flooded back. I felt relief, but also sadness and a sense of isolation.

When I got back, Allie and I got married. I walked onto the LSU football team, balancing academics, marriage, football, and eventually kids. To the outside world, I was a success story. But internally, I was unraveling. PTSD clung to me like a shadow. The pressure to perform, provide, and protect felt suffocating. I worked multiple jobs and trained relentlessly, all while trying to stay afloat in school. There were moments I didn’t think I’d make it.

Even as a pastor and Army chaplain—preaching hope to others—I often felt like a fraud. My ambition drove me into corporate leadership and sales facilitation, but the same question haunted me: Who am I without my achievements?

I’ve shared more about this journey in previous posts and will reveal even more in my upcoming book. If you’ve ever wrestled with similar questions or felt the weight of striving without peace, I encourage you to follow along.

The Two Faces of Triggers: Adaptive and Maladaptive

What inspires us can also hinder us. Triggers are adaptive when they push us to grow, face challenges, and become better. But they’re maladaptive when they pull us into comparison, insecurity, or the endless need for validation.

Take influence, for example. Healthy influence inspires others, elevates their potential, and creates a ripple effect of positive impact. That’s adaptive. But when influence becomes a tool to satisfy our own unmet needs—to feel important, validated, or admired—it’s maladaptive.

It’s like standing on a stage, desperately shouting, “Look at me! I need your approval!” On the outside, you may look like a leader. But on the inside, you’re a little boy or girl crying out for validation. That’s not leadership—it’s a void masking itself as virtue.

The Lies We Believe vs. The Virtues We Need

Here’s a tough question: What percentage of the lies we believe are actually virtues in disguise? Influence itself isn’t bad. In fact, it’s essential to lead effectively. But when it’s driven by comparison or a need for external validation, it becomes toxic.

A healthy approach to influence focuses on lifting others—helping them reach their highest level of success and purpose. But when we start needing something from the audience rather than giving something to them, we’ve fallen into the trap of maladaptive triggers.

The Discipline of Healthy Triggers

The key to breaking free from maladaptive triggers is discipline. Without it, we remain stuck in the void, endlessly chasing validation. Discipline turns unhealthy triggers into healthy ones, shifting our focus from comparison and insecurity to growth and purpose.

Here’s the truth: We all face triggers, and they’re not going away. The question is, What will you do with them? Will you let them pull you into the void, or will you use them as opportunities to grow?

Real Life Application Questions

• What are the triggers in your life? Are they pushing you to grow or pulling you into the void?
• How do you define leadership? Is it about giving or needing validation?
• Are your triggers adaptive (healthy) or maladaptive (unhealthy)?
• What lies have you believed about yourself or your role, and how can you reframe them into virtues?

Action Steps for Real-Life Inspiration

1. Identify Your Triggers: Make a list of what sets you off—work stress, financial struggles, comparison, or insecurity.
2. Reframe Your Focus: Ask yourself, How can I turn this trigger into an opportunity for a miracle or a healthy trigger?
3. Cultivate Discipline: Build habits that help you respond to triggers in healthy ways, such as journaling, prayer, seeking wise counsel, or running/walking. Have you ever considered writing or speaking?
4. Redefine Leadership: Focus on how you can give to others rather than what you can get from them.
5. Pursue Healthy Inspiration: Align your influence with a purpose bigger than yourself.

Read Philippians 4 for Real-Life Inspiration

If you’re struggling with your triggers—whether it’s abundance, scarcity, or the pressures of leadership—take some time to read Philippians 4. The Apostle Paul writes:

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”

This passage reminds us that true contentment doesn’t come from circumstances but from God’s strength. Whether you’re thriving or just surviving, leaning into that strength can transform your triggers into tools for growth.

Triggers are tools—how you use them determines whether they build you up or tear you down. As we prepare for 2025, let’s commit to turning our triggers into stepping stones for growth. Let’s stop chasing influence for validation and start leading with purpose and integrity.

Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the clearest example of healthy inspiration. When we let go of the lies we’ve believed and embrace the virtues we need, we’ll find that true greatness comes not from applause but from alignment with our purpose.

Let’s step into the new year inspired, disciplined, and ready to grow. 🌟

#GREATNESS #TriggeredToGrow #HealthyTriggers #RealLifeInspiration #LeadershipWithPurpose #Philippians4 #ContentmentAndDiscipline

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