If God Had a LinkedIn Profile, Would You Connect?

Imagine it’s Wednesday morning. You’re scrolling through LinkedIn, procrastinating your to-do list, and suddenly you spot the strangest profile: God—no surname, no initials, just God. His title? The Creator, Preserver, and Destroyer. His location? Omnipresent.

Curious, you click, expecting a parody account. But this profile has a strange credibility to it. The bio reads, “Cosmic Operations. Here to connect, create, and complete the cycle.” Now you’re intrigued. If God were on LinkedIn, what would that profile look like? And how would He stack up against our meticulously crafted resumes?

Experience: Not Your Average Career Path

God’s “Experience” section isn’t measured in years but in yugas—epochs spanning the dawn of time to the heat-death of the universe. His resume? Literally everything.

Imagine the list:

• Title: Founder and CEO, Existence, Inc.
• Timeline: Eternal (since before the Big Bang)

Highlights:

• Developed, launched, and nurtured the Universe, Earth, and humanity
• Expert in managing the lifecycle of stars, planets, and life forms
• Creator of all systems, laws, and chaos (still operational)

No six-month project plans here—God’s to-do list spans light years. Each “job” in His career might take an eon, with every act of creation leading to unimaginable sequels and spin-offs. This is no simple product roadmap.

Now imagine God at a networking event, shrugging modestly as He mentions His “experience.” What would we even ask? “So, how’s work been going since… forever?”

Skills and Endorsements: Beyond Excel and PowerPoint

Next, the skills section. Forget “Project Management” or “Strategic Planning.” Here’s what we’d see on God’s profile:

• Creation: Spontaneous, boundless, the power to manifest life in an instant.
• Destruction: Not as ominous as it sounds; think of it as cosmic cleanup, clearing space for new beginnings.
• Omniscience: Knows everything, everywhere, at all times. (You can’t hide your browsing history from this one.)
• Compassion: Balancing the cosmic scales with a soft hand; keeping track of the sparrow and the sinner alike.

Endorsements? Who would endorse these skills? Perhaps the rishis and sages of ancient times would attempt it. But, realistically, who among us could dare endorse Omniscience? Imagine trying to +1 His “Creation” skill with your limited mortal experience. Do you even dare?

Connections: “500+” Is Just the Start

Now here’s where things get fun: God’s “Connections” section.

• Total Connections: Infinite.
• Mutuals: Every living being.
• Top Endorsers: Time, Space, Consciousness.

Picture it: LinkedIn politely nudging you with “Do you know Him?” You check the mutuals and see everyone you’ve ever known. While we struggle to get a couple of CEOs or industry influencers, God’s network is just... everything.

And in a world where connections often determine value, God’s value is priceless, infinite, extending in every direction. Every soul, every particle, every piece of existence is part of His network. And there’s no “connect” button needed—He’s already linked to us all.

The Profile Photo: Face or No Face?

What would God choose as a profile photo? In Hinduism, God is both with form (saguna) and without form (nirguna), which makes for an interesting dilemma. Perhaps He’d skip the photo, suggesting that presence itself is beyond image. Or maybe He’d go with a classic shot: a calm blue sky, a serene mountaintop, or a river flowing quietly.

But what if the profile picture was different for every viewer? For some, it might be a quiet sunset; for others, a newborn’s face. A reminder that we each see God in our own way, and no image could capture the full picture.

The LinkedIn Summary: God’s Mission Statement

LinkedIn summaries are where most of us try to condense our professional essence. But how would God summarize His mission? Imagine something like:

God Mission: To create, sustain, and transform. Summary: I am the beginning and the end, the silence and the song. Achievements: Life, death, time, and love. Open to all connections, always present. (For more, just look around you.)

There would be no need for long explanations or embellishments. For God, the world is His profile, and we are all part of His work. There is no pitch, no strategy. Just existence.

Recommendations: What Would the Saints Say?

If recommendations could capture divinity, what might some testimonials look like?

• Rumi: “He is the silence between my words, the presence that fills the emptiness.”
• Kabir: “I saw Him in a drop of water, and then I saw myself.”
• Mirabai: “To know Him, you must lose yourself.”

And though we write and praise and sing, there’s a humility in knowing that our words only ever skim the surface. No matter what we write, God’s work remains beyond language, a presence too vast for our limited expressions.

The Job Invitations: Would He Apply?

Imagine God getting flooded with job invitations. Would CEOs of Fortune 500 companies try to hire Him? Would they pitch positions like “Head of Product for New Universes” or “Director of Global Change Management”?

Or maybe He’d get those vague start-up messages: “Hey God, we’re building something disruptive—think you could add some cosmic innovation?” But would He respond? Or would He simply smile, waiting for us to realize that the most profound role is already within us?

Could We Really “Connect” with God?

In the end, maybe the question isn’t whether God would have a LinkedIn profile, but whether we could handle connecting with Him. For a platform that thrives on endorsements, achievements, and the “right connections,” what would it mean to link ourselves to the very essence of existence?

Perhaps the profile is unnecessary. Maybe God’s presence is the quiet reminder that beneath the polished profiles and perfect selfies, we’re all connected by something deeper—something that can’t be liked, commented on, or shared. It’s felt in the silence, in the spaces where words fail.

In a world of endless posts and self-promotion, maybe God’s profile is a simple reminder: the most meaningful connections don’t need a platform. They just are.