Good Boss. Bad Peer.

Last weekend, I took my daughter Anumita Chopra to a used car dealership, hoping to find her first set of wheels. It was her first car buying experience. The salesman showered us with promises of unbeatable deals, while the manager nitpicked and lowballed.

On the drive home, Anumita asked, “Dad, was that like a ‘good cop, bad cop’ thing to get us to buy?” I nodded. “Exactly, it’s a pressure tactic, like when mom and I used to tag-team you on chores and curfews.” We both laughed at the memories.

But it turns out this “good cop, bad cop” routine isn’t just for used cars, or for moms and dads - it also plays out in workplaces. Let's ask Jack*.

Jack started his new job full of excitement. But he and his manager, let’s call her Ms. Viper for now, just didn’t seem to align well. She criticized and micromanaged, often making him feel like the weakest link in the team. Jack's confidence plummeted. He began dreading coming into work each day, feeling as though he couldn't do anything right in front of her.

Then suddenly, she started acting very sweet and friendly to Jack, telling him she's his biggest supporter and is 'only being so tough because she wants him to succeed'. She indicated she wants to help him improve instead of criticizing him.

Jack felt relieved btu just as he started to think maybe Ms. Viper had turned over a new leaf, things got even worse. He had no idea what was going on. She suddenly assigned Jack a “mentor”, one of his peers, to help him improve. She now started to heavily rely on Jack's coworkers and the mentor to closely review his work and monitor his daily tasks, suggesting they document every minor mistake they notice, well kind of making a great case for HR if needed down the line.

Jack is trapped in this situation. It's a sneaky, cunning style of leadership that takes advantage of an employee's basic desire to be treated with some compassion. Ms. Viper's manipulation was clearly very skillful, even more so than our used car buying experience. She employed the good cop, bad cop routine to manipulate Jack. This isn't leadership; it's a power play leaving emotional casualties in its wake.

I glanced over at Anumita after finishing the story. She had a thoughtful look on her face as she took it all in. "That's really unfair how Ms. Viper treated Jack," she said. "Pretending to be nice while being mean behind his back? That's just wrong." I nodded in agreement. "You're absolutely right. Manipulation has no place in a healthy workplace."

By sharing Jack's cautionary tale, I wanted to illustrate how even professional settings can involve underhanded tactics which can be very hard to deal with.

But I am curious what would you do if you were in Jack’s shoes?