The Great Divide

The Great Divide

Picture a deep chasm, symbolizing the gap between external success and internal peace. On one side, there's the overachiever, relentlessly chasing goals without ever feeling fulfilled. On the other, the withdrawn individual is stuck in their circumstances. Bridging this chasm is the profound 'Lesson of the Chase.' This lesson emphasizes that you never arrive. 

A "chasm" is a deep fissure in the earth's surface, such as a gorge or canyon. The term is often used metaphorically to describe a significant difference of opinion, interests, or loyalty, creating a problematic division to bridge or reconcile. The imagery of a chasm suggests a profound and sometimes abrupt separation, emphasizing the challenges of overcoming such gaps. 

I had a crack in my chasing from childhood. I looked strong, successful, significant, and spiritual on the outside. On the inside, I had a chasm to cross or deal with the cracks in the rock I was standing on. 

The Great Divide in life manifests as two extremes:

1. Chasing outward success: These individuals are often driven by external validation, seeking accomplishments, wealth, status, or recognition. Their ambition becomes insatiable, continuously pushing them toward bigger goals, larger platforms, and higher achievements. Yet, no matter how much they attain, they rarely find lasting fulfillment, as the goalpost of success constantly moves further away. In this relentless pursuit, they often lose sight of the value of personal relationships, the necessity of rest, the importance of emotional health, and the deeper purpose that gives life meaning.
2. Chasing inward failure (victim mindset): On the other hand, this group internalizes adversity. They may feel defeated by their circumstances and focus more on their setbacks than on the possibilities for growth. Stuck in a cycle of self-pity or despair, they avoid the hard work of pushing forward and improving their lives. Instead, they view themselves as victims of life's difficulties, often finding excuses rather than opportunities for change.

While seemingly opposites, both extremes share a common flaw: they both lack real-life inspiration. Real-life inspiration can be found in the joy of helping others, personal growth satisfaction, or nature's beauty. Whether chasing outward validation or being consumed by inward defeat, neither approach leads to the meaningful, balanced life and work we seek.

True contentment and growth come when one shifts focus from outward accolades to internal inspiration. Internal inspiration can be found in personal values, meaningful relationships, or a sense of purpose. By embracing personal development, we start to live purposefully, ensuring that life is more than just crossing off another goal but about finding joy and meaning in every step.

I want to tell the story of a friend and mentor who has conquered the Great Divide in real life, and his inspiration to work hard and be satisfied is worth telling. Randy Esterling once interviewed me during a chase in my life. I was facing a detour in my career. Randy saw something in me and mentored me as I started working with him as our organization's leadership development corporate trainer. Randy always worked and lived with inspiration in an infectious way. He taught the power of the chase and always inspired everyone he worked with or taught in leadership or sales training.

Before Randy "retired" to part-time, I gave him a copy of Dr. Ken Blanchard's book Don't Retire, Refire! Randy and I enjoyed discussing the book, as we often read and teach what we learn.

Randy had to train for a year to get into the physical condition to chase his goal. I could not think of a better example of someone who has conquered the "Great Divide" than Randy Esterling. He flipped the script, chased a mountain in work and life, and did it with inspiration. He is a successful leadership consultant and an even more successful husband, father, grandfather, and friend.

Underachievers can suffer from burnout, never feeling fulfilled in their work or like life passed them over and never gave them a chance. This struggle, though different in its manifestation, is a shared experience with high achievers, who also grapple with a sense of unfulfillment despite their outward success. Understanding this shared experience can foster empathy and a deeper understanding of the human condition. 

This divide manifests distinctly in individuals who face challenging family dynamics or adversity. It's crucial to understand that while some withdraw, internalizing their hardships, others respond with an overdriven ambition to push through their circumstances. However, neither extreme typically leads to true contentment in real life. 

High achievers, paradoxically, often find themselves in a relentless pursuit of accomplishments, driven by an insatiable need to succeed. This drive can lead to an unhealthy focus where personal relationships, personal fulfillment, rest, and even basic emotional and physical needs are neglected in favor of chasing ever-evolving goals. The negative impact of this relentless pursuit is concerning, as it often leads to a sense of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction, even after the goals are achieved. It's a reality that should make us all pause and reflect on our pursuits.

This constant movement of the goalpost can lead to a perpetually unfulfilled real life. High achievers invest immense energy into securing accolades, yet this often fails to satisfy their deeper needs. To find fulfillment, they must recognize and address the underlying sense of deficiency that fuels their endless chasing. This shift in focus—from external achievements to internal inspiration—is beneficial and crucial for breaking the cycle of dissatisfaction and starting to live a more enjoyable and meaningful life. It's a realization that can enlighten and motivate us all to seek a more balanced and internally inspired life.

Inspiration is like the Stock Market - It Grows Over Time

Inspiration is like investing—it compounds over time like compounding interest. Becoming inspirational is a lot like investing successfully in the stock market. You won't be successful if you hope to chase significance and impact in a day. What matters most is what you do daily over the long term of your life and work. 

Augustine of Hippo once said,

"Without exception, all try to reach the same goal, that is, joy," and “Patience is the companion of wisdom." Finally, you should "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is for you."

Let your “assets” compound; the inevitable result is growth over time. The inspiration is to chase in a way that allows you to see and go higher. Rise above the divide and noise of the millions of people pursuing their many goals with no inspiration for their goals. 

"Keep Your Past…Past

The day I called my uncle Rick, thinking he was my father, I was overwhelmed with vulnerability. Feelings of rejection, illegitimacy, and turmoil surfaced, revealing the deep cracks in my foundation. I felt vulnerable, feared rejection, and felt illegitimate. These cracks in my foundation started to affect my real life as I began to see how externally driven I was to succeed. 

I started feeling for the first time in my life. I was experiencing grief about my father’s passing, and I never knew him. I learned that my lifelong pursuit of knowing who my father was ended when my uncle told me my last name, my heritage, and my father's name on the phone. 

To make it even more intriguing, my father's nephew, my cousin Alex Kelly, and my second cousin Brandt Linde were all on the same high school football team as me. Follow me. We are going somewhere in your life. I want to show you how to chase answers or the meaning you may seek. 

If you are stuck in the past, your present is still the past, and you will be in a pit like so many stuck in the Great Divide of the unengaged. Leave your past in the past."

Keep your future…future. 

Or if you are so focused on the future or the next goal, you are lost. These inner cracks, revealing my fragile foundation as an example for you, underscored how external validations and endless scoreboards had driven my pursuit of success. Before that pivotal phone call, my focus was the future, constantly chasing achievements to get to the next destination. But hearing my uncle's voice that day sparked a shift to a more introspective chase, prompting me to seek answers from within rather than from the world around me. This shift was liberating, as I no longer needed to prove myself to the world constantly. But it also revealed how stuck in the future I was, which also caused me to lack inspiration in my life. 

Leaders in Life are Content but Never Satisfied to Remain the Same

Keep your focus on the present without getting lost in the future. While external achievements bring temporary satisfaction, true contentment is achieved through enjoying the pain of training, practicing, and working out; the chase of success with contentment with who you are gives you the freedom never to remain the same, so you chase what inspires you, not just the trophies. 

Continuous self-improvement will always inspire others to do the same. The key to true satisfaction comes from enjoying growth rather than seeking satisfaction from wealth, power, or comfort. This lesson offers a radical redefinition of what it means to be truly satisfied and content by embracing the chase. 

It's about growing in every area of your life, seeing clues, seeking understanding, and learning about yourself and the cracks in your life. 

While external achievements can bring temporary satisfaction, true contentment is achieved through chasing who you can become. Continuous self-improvement will always inspire the same chase in others.

The idea is that true satisfaction—being "satisfied"—comes not from wealth, power, or comfort but from living with real-life inspiration and experiencing contentment from enjoying the process of growth rather than the product of goals. 

This lesson challenges the conventional wisdom of the Great Divide, offering a fresh perspective on satisfaction and contentment. It encourages us to climb the mountains in life and work and relish the journey, finding joy in each step towards our vision at the top. 

You can be successful in your case, but please learn to be content with what you have today, or your life can fly by without any meaning or significance. Ironically, I am obsessed with studying high achievers in all disciplines who have real-life success at home with healthy families. I assure you that succeeding in real life and work is much more challenging but so worth the chase.

Flip the Script 

Imagine the Grand Canyon, one of the most bottomless chasms on Earth, with its vast, rugged expanse. Now, turn that immense canyon upside down and picture the canyon inverted into a mountain. Just as the Grand Canyon symbolizes depth and immensity, this inverted mountain symbolizes the height and elevation one can achieve through inner growth and courage.

In this analogy, the Grand Canyon represents the potential within each of us—to chase ambition or our condition. When we focus only on the external markers of success, we might feel like we're standing at the top, looking up at towering walls of achievement that seem insurmountable to others below us. However, when we fully embrace the lesson of the chase, we can see our continuous gains as a transformation of the canyon into steps we need to take to grow in life.

This transformation, of turning the "Great Divide” upside down, can change lives.

Climbing this mountain symbolizes the continuous pursuit of personal growth. This upward journey brings a sense of achievement, requiring contentment, character, and a calling to go higher. 

Leaders who are content but have yet to be satisfied understand that reaching the summit is not about the external view but about the internal inspiration to grow that occurs along the way. This 'inspiration zone' is a state of mind where we are most motivated, creative, and productive. Each step up this mountain brings new insights, greater wisdom, and a more profound sense of purpose, moving away from the superficial pursuit of goals and towards a more profound satisfaction rooted in knowing what inspires your reason. 

Turning the 'Great Divide' of achievement upside down redefines true satisfaction. It teaches us that contentment doesn't come from resting at the bottom of the canyon but from the climb itself—enjoying the pursuit, pushing forward, and constantly seeking to live in the inspiration zone. This lesson inspires others to embark on their chase, understanding that the valid reward lies not in reaching the top but in the growth experienced along the way-whether suffering or prosperity. 

So What?

We all have stories—hardships, memories, backgrounds, insecurities, vulnerabilities, challenges. And the truth is, at the end of it all, we must admit we, too, are insecure little kids just passing through the busy streets hoping someone will see us. Showing up to inspire people through adversity must start with understanding that everyone has a story.  

All of us will be knocked down, but what matters is how inspired we are to get back up faster than the old self who would stop chasing.

Real-Life Application

• When you chase success, are you defined by the outcomes? How do you respond if you fail?
• Do you ever get bored with your vocation and need to chase personal growth in an area that needs to be noticed?
• You can enjoy success, leadership, and real-life joy by demonstrating courage to chase who you can become. Is something holding you back from pursuing excellence in your life and work?
• Who do you know could use this article? Please share it with your team or family, and make it count.

By writing, I'm not just writing a book but building a community of new relationships around it. I'm involving readers in the process, inviting their insights and experiences, and creating a book that resonates deeply with them. This journey of writing and sharing has been enriching, and I'm excited to see how this new approach will further enhance the book and its impact.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed the article, please SHARE with your friends. (and even LIKE, COMMENT, or message me with another inspiring story). It might land in my book.

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Joey Stutson