The Great Smartphone Debate: Does Your Parenting Style Hold the Key? 📱🔑
I’m interested in raising awareness around delaying, not denying kids smartphones.
It’s not about scary mongering or searching for doom & gloom research about the dangers of smartphones - for me it’s about supporting parents in feeling more confident in their decisions, whatever they are, and helping them handle the whining, pressure & anger that they inevitably will face when they say ‘let’s wait until you’re 13 or 14’
Research conducted by psychologists such as Diana Baumrind & later expanded upon by researchers like Maccoby & Martin has extensively explored different parenting styles & their effects on child development.
These studies have identified authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting as the primary styles & have examined their implications for various aspects of children's behaviour, including their self-esteem, academic achievement, & social competence.
So how about a little ‘Pause to Ponder’ moment to kick start your week 🤓
From Helicopter to Hands-Off: How Does Your Parenting Style Navigate the Smartphone Dilemma?
Parenting styles probably play a significant role in how parents approach the decision of giving their child a smartphone.
Different parenting styles influence the timing, rules & expectations surrounding smartphone usage.
Here's a breakdown of how various parenting styles may impact your decision:
📱Authoritative Parenting:
Authoritative parents tend to be nurturing, responsive & set clear expectations for their children while also allowing them some autonomy.
When it comes to giving kids a smartphone, authoritative parents are likely to consider factors such as their child's age, maturity level, & the need for communication & safety.
They may set guidelines for responsible smartphone use, such as limiting screen time, monitoring online activities, and having open discussions about digital citizenship and safety.
📱Authoritarian Parenting:
Authoritarian parents typically have strict rules & high expectations for their children, often without much room for negotiation or flexibility.
In the context of smartphones, authoritarian parents may be more likely to impose rigid restrictions or outright bans on smartphone usage until a certain age or under specific conditions.
They may prioritise obedience & compliance over individual autonomy or the child's desire for independence.
📱Permissive Parenting:
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Permissive parents are often indulgent & lenient, placing few demands on their children & allowing them significant freedom.
When it comes to smartphones, permissive parents may be more inclined to give their children smartphones at a younger age without clear guidelines or restrictions.
They may be less likely to monitor their children's online activities or set limits on screen time, believing in giving their children autonomy to make their own choices.
📱Uninvolved Parenting:
Uninvolved parents are generally disengaged & emotionally detached from their children, providing little guidance, support, or structure.
In the context of smartphones, uninvolved parents may be indifferent or unaware of their children's smartphone usage.
They may not establish any rules or boundaries regarding smartphone use, leaving their children to navigate the digital world without guidance or supervision.
So, which one resonates with you?
Do you think that your parenting style significantly influences how your children are introduced to smartphones & the rules & expectations surrounding their usage?
Is it time for you to consider your parenting style, your child's individual needs & maturity level, & the potential benefits & risks of giving your child a smartphone when making decisions about when and how to give your kids access to this technology - and delay giving your child a smartphone until they are 14?
Regardless of your parenting style open communication, setting clear guidelines, monitoring usage, and fostering responsible digital habits are the keys 🔑 to guiding your kids regardless of the parenting style you employ or the decisions that you come to.
It’s not about a pointed finger☝️ judging you - more about a helping hand 🖐️ supporting you 😀
Here's a free resource that I wrote recently called:
Tips and Scripts for Parents - Building Confidence in Saying 'No' to Smartphones to help with with lots of ideas, suggestions and scripts as well as research to say when your kids inevitable say 'But everyone else has one!'
Get in touch if you'd like me to speak to your organisation or group of parents for one of my 'Power Hours' about this topic.
Feel free to share my free Tips and Scripts download with friends, family, colleagues or teachers.
What are your thoughts?
► Guiding parents of strong-willed children to embrace boundaries, so you still feel loved & reassuring a bond for life by applying my Effortless Parenting Approach™ ► Parent & Classroom Educator
8moI fully agree Sue and I have made a discovery since your post. What is adding to the dilemma of a permissive approach where a child has unrestricted digital freedom: to balance the scale the parent ends up picking up the responsibilities. If we want a child to learn to contribute to family life, we need to create an environment where it is possible to practise skills like: feeding a pet, emptying the dishwasher or in person communication skills. In the authoritarian parenting style where a device is often removed as consequence for non-obedience, a child is taught to no longer trust the adult. The outcome maybe that when real conflict unfolds a growing adolescent or younger may decide to not share their thoughts and feelings to process them. The authoritative style in comparison allows a child to experience struggle, that they can survive and gives them an opportunity to think of other ways to belong.
BBC, ITV & Disney's Parenting Expert, Award Winning Author of The Divorce Journal for Kids, Broadcaster & Freelance Writer & Host of Navigating the Digital Jungle with Sue Atkins and Friends podcast 🎧🗺️ 🧭 🔦📱
10moAnnett Murphy
BBC, ITV & Disney's Parenting Expert, Award Winning Author of The Divorce Journal for Kids, Broadcaster & Freelance Writer & Host of Navigating the Digital Jungle with Sue Atkins and Friends podcast 🎧🗺️ 🧭 🔦📱
10moHannah Oertel
BBC, ITV & Disney's Parenting Expert, Award Winning Author of The Divorce Journal for Kids, Broadcaster & Freelance Writer & Host of Navigating the Digital Jungle with Sue Atkins and Friends podcast 🎧🗺️ 🧭 🔦📱
10moJoe Ryrie Daisy Greenwell
BBC, ITV & Disney's Parenting Expert, Award Winning Author of The Divorce Journal for Kids, Broadcaster & Freelance Writer & Host of Navigating the Digital Jungle with Sue Atkins and Friends podcast 🎧🗺️ 🧭 🔦📱
10moLucy S.