Guilt? Or your life's work?

Guilt? Or your life's work?

What a time of life. I recently turned 65. YIKES! That sounds more like a speed limit, but I am not going to let it slow me down. Thankfully, I still feel 45, my wife says I often act 25, and my grandkids think I'm 5 (judging by the way they want me to play with them). We'll see what my doctor says after my annual physical.

I am a big list guy, and the lists come out every year to help me reflect. My kids roll their eyes when it's their birthday because I always ask, "What have been the top (however old they are) things in your life so far?"

One of the lists I made this year is the top 65 things I am most proud of. Making it, I noticed a few things. At first glance, only a small number were related to my work or career. Most focused on my family, my friends and the ways I have been able to help others over the years.

On the list were things like being able to co-officiate my daughter's wedding just a few weeks ago. Wow. Once I got through the emotional start and stop of trying not to cry (it didn't work) and finally being able to see through my joyful tears, I was as proud as I have ever been about anything I’ve done.

But when I really looked at my list, most were there because of my job, my ability to make the money I did (those that have had daughters marry understand), and my growth as a person, which in turn, impacted what I have been able to do for my family and others.

It snowed a ton during my daughter's wedding, changing the plans for an outdoor ceremony. In my ceremony script, I reminded the couple, "the day may not be what you imagined, but it will be how you remember it." I found life and my career to be like that. It isn't always what we imagine, but it will be what we make it.

As we look for our purpose in life, we often think it has to be this magical, world-impacting thing. It's great if it is, but isn't it also a pretty meaningful thing to be able to provide for your family?

"Faith it until you make it." - Lillian Victoria

Many of us may not be doing what we thought we would be doing as a career. But maybe this is a season in life that teaches us something for that next chapter. Or maybe what we are doing now is helping us pay the bills and get through this time of life, so we can thrive in the next chapter. So have faith that there is always something to gain in the present.

I never thought I would be in sales. But working in sales taught me a lot about life and, more importantly, about myself, which made me ready to do what I really wanted, which was to coach and counsel others.

I talk to many, including myself, who often feel guilty about working too much or putting too much time and effort into their careers. And, if you know me, I am the first one to say work shouldn't be your top priority, and it's not working more hours; it's just working hard when you do work.

I used to beat myself up for not always being present when the kids were growing up, but I now see my work all these years has given me the opportunity to help my kids through some difficult times, give to some incredible nonprofits that are making a difference and support others in small ways.

I see my kids today, and I believe they have a work ethic because of what they saw me do. That work ethic is now helping them provide for their families. When I first meet with people as a Dream Coach, I often do an exercise so that we can get to know each other. Then, I ask who their heroes are. Many of them, whom I consider successful, say their hero is a mom, dad, grandma or grandpa. They say those people showed them a good work ethic or they left a huge impression by how they supported and provided for their family.

"What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make." - Jane Goodall

Don't beat yourself up for doing what you're doing. It's making a difference. You may not see it directly all the time, but you are. And I don't just mean here. You are tremendously valued here, but the important thing is that you are making a difference for yourself, your family and your community.

So, if you have a birthday coming up (or even if you don't), list out the top things you are most proud of in your life and what you feel you have accomplished. It will help you realize you are good enough, are making progress in life and are making a difference. Those differences we all make add up.

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." – Harriet Tubman

The world has a lot of crap going on, but hard-working, good-hearted people like you can help overcome that by doing the daily work you do. Now that's a great purpose. Keep dreaming. Keep doing.