Happiness, Shame, and Narcissism
Welcome back to another edition of This Week in Culture. I’m glad you’re here. Let’s run through a few things.
Three Skills For True Happiness At Work: I’d argue for awareness (of self and others), openness (to same), and valued engagement
In the same vein: MIT Sloan School of Management Review called for “well-being intelligence” as a core workforce competency this past week. I like this, and I agree cultures would be better if more managers were more aware of their own well-being and the well-being of their teams. However, the problem we always run into – and this is something
CULTURE PARTNERS
works really hard at with our clients – is that so many managers fall into “Action Traps
The role of shame at work: Here’s some interesting research from UPenn and UCLA researchers, basically saying that shame helps to build organizational cultures. It includes the line “Organizations are inherently interested in aspects of normative control.” That’s true at some level, yes, but that’s where the research lost me a little bit. We need to be moving away from fear- and control-based cultures (in which shame plays a bigger part) to cultures dictated by awareness and agape love. Now look, if an employee does something really wrong in their first year or so, and there’s a sense of individual shame on their part, and that shame eliminates that mistake in the future – that’s good. I’m not anti-shame. I understand it can play a powerful role. But I don’t think it should be a defining feature of any culture, or that we should spend time studying normative control patterns. Instead, let’s talk more about how to create experiences that make employees want to show up for work and do a good job.
The pace of work problem: It’s not that “no one wants to work anymore.” Plenty of people want to work and need to, to make all their ends meet. It’s more so that … we’ve forgotten how to work.
Narcissism:
Charles O'Reilly
is the Frank E. Buck Professor of Management at Stanford University; we have done some collaborative work with him on different facets of organizational culture and behavior, which is his focus. He has some great research out there, including “Adaptive Hybrid: Innovation With Virtual Work” and some amazing work on the role of narcissists in the workplace. In 2012, he co-authored work called “Women in the Boardroom: Symbols or Substance?” that’s informed a lot of thinking about the role of women at work since its publication. He recently sent me a longer paper on narcissism and psychological safety
Recommended by LinkedIn
Kelli: This is an older article on HBR, but in it we meet Kelli:
This has become a huge problem in cultures – they talk about diversity and inclusion all the time, but when an easy promotion opportunity is in front of their face, they miss it – worried about their Instagram ethos instead. Cultures are driven by people and their experiences. We get fascinated with marketing and following the latest trend lines, but ultimately we need to take care of our people above all. When you do that, some of the performative inclusion stuff fades away.
Personally, I’m a big fan of interculturalism these days, which is the concept of embracing similarity as opposed to difference
What else would you like to see us discuss?
Feel free to message me about:
Brother, Son, & Father | Vision - the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom | Training & Development
1yThanks for the good read Jessica Kriegel
Director/Medical Devices/Pharmaceuticals/Instructor Ensign College/BYU Idaho/Operations/Performance Excellence/Environmental Health and Safety/Project Management - MBA/Organizational Leadership
1yAlways appreciate your insights Jessica. I completely agree we bring our emotions to work. How can we not? I remember the days of saying “check your feelings at the door” but today is not that day nor is it this time in our work culture. Emotions make us who we are. And they are totally normal. I don’t completely agree with that we forgot how to work vs don’t want to work. My experiences have seen many people who feel they “owed” a job and that it should be a privilege to have them here working instead of the hard working, would rather die than be late, even show up completely sick as a dog workers that we used to have. If anybody knows of some of them, send them my way. We have seen enough of the privileged ones already.
Birkman Certified Consultant
1yThe information regarding the use of "shame" in the workforce is quite interesting, Jessica. There was a time when shaming was perfectly acceptable, as a force to improve behavior. Our society seemed to be built on it, beginning in elementary school or before. I, for one, am so happy this practice has been and continues to be reevaluated. In some cultures shame can be so powerful that the shamed individual never really recovers from it. Excellent, thought provoking article.
Global Corporate Trainer @ Headstrt | World Class Expert @Clarity | Specialization In Strategy | Specialization in Human Resources and Information Technology | AI Essentials For Business
1yThanks for sharing this insightful post! It's refreshing to see a focus on self-awareness and positive work environments, especially in the midst of a pandemic. As someone who is passionate about personal growth and development, I appreciate the emphasis on mindfulness and employee experience. Keep up the great work!
I empower individuals and organizations to unlock their inner human potential. I can help you reclaim your power, conquer insecurity, stop playing small, create a dream relationship, and live a life filled with purpose.
1yThe research on the role of shame in organizational cultures is interesting. I agree that we need to move away from fear-based cultures, Jessica Kriegel.