Happy Couple

Some pretty good external signs, that a couple is happy:

They speak to and about each other in respectful, loving, and complimentary terms. 

They don’t insult each other, including (especially?) behind the other’s back.

They don’t use a strained, scornful, or contemptuous tone of voice. They speak of their partner with admiration.

They look at each other with a smile. 

Sounds cheesy I know, but that’s the best way I can think to describe it. I’m not just talking about that little twinkle in the eye (though it can certainly be that, too).

Lots of unhappy couples look at each other with an occasional spark of passion. I’m talking about that unmistakable glow of tenderness and esteem. They don’t roll their eyes at each other. They don’t give each other the stink eye.

They touch in affectionate ways. I’m not talking about pawing each other in lust. I’m talking about that occasional reassuring pat on the arm, rub of the back, or peck on the lips. I’m talking about holding hands. Draping an arm around the waist. The touches of abiding and enduring affection.

They laugh together. A couple that can keep each other laughing has a much higher chance of staying happy together.

They support each other’s goals. They don’t discourage or disparage each other’s dreams. They have a can-do attitude and make it possible for each other to succeed.

They might be 30, or 75. They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and income brackets. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together. Whatever the demographics, when you see a happy couple, you just know it!

How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad?

Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”

Happy Couples and Their Secrets

Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.

Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last.

A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.

Work on the relationship.

An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally.

The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.

Spend time together.

There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.    

Thank you …Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give him more of what he wants.

If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments.

At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally.

For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint.

Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. If you do both of these things at once you’ve got a winning plan!

Want to add word or two?

Accept that some problems can’t be solved.

There may be issues upon which you cannot agree.

Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement.

The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.

Your comment ….?

Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.

Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return.

And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways.

When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it.

And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.

Making these secrets an integral part of your relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. If you maintain your efforts, however, you will likely reap what you sow.

Words are powerful. They activate emotion states, or neurotransmitters. This means words have the power, to the extent they activate your imagination, one of the most powerful capacities, to shape your life and relationships. 

When it comes to persons we cherish, for example, the power of words can be changed to either build or teardown. If you understand power as a perception, and your words as pure emotion-activating power that, accordingly, manipulate... 

Love is an ongoing process of living deeply,, unquestionably the most profound of all human experiences that brings meaning to our lives.

A couple relationship is a unique balancing act, in which two separate beings agree to engage their power, as partners, ideally to mindfully grow the capacity of each to love and recognize, honor and nurture the presence of both self and the other -- as both are works of works...

I'm a firm 'believer' in 'heart intelligence' and that everyone can use their heart's intelligence to benefit themselves, others and the environment.

I value my ritual because I believe the heart is the 'gateway' to the Divine, the Source, Creator, God by any name, Max Planck's matrix, the quantum field of possibilities - however anyone wishes to refer 'it' as being/representing LOVE.

I believe Divine LOVE is the 'glue' of all things. “Love is a travel. All travelers whether they want or not are changed. No one can travel into love and remain the same.” 

A “good” woman serves as an accomplice to maintain a social order that values male supremacy, privilege and dominance.

Appreciate moments of happiness. And happiness is a choice. The subject of our concentration will dominate our lives.

Learn, as you seem to have, what is going on ... do whatever you can about it, personally or as an activist. Then LET IT GO. Otherwise, you have allowed it to rule your life even more - they now have your mind and your ability to be happy, too. You give it even more power by letting it get to you.

Place your concentration on what makes you happy. Meditation and mindfulness helped me to see it from a different perspective and allows me to take pleasure in the sunrise - even through the haze. 

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT' by Russ Harris. "He explains that the way most of us go about trying to find happiness ends up making us miserable, driving the epidemics of stress, anxiety, and depression.

This empowering book presents the insights and techniques of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) a revolutionary new psychotherapy based on cutting-edge research in behavioral psychology.