HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE POODLES OF PARK AVENUE BY KAREN-CHERIE COGANE!

REWIND TO NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH SIMONE, THE PARK AVENUE POODLE: “Happy New Year to humans and pets, and I hope 2021 is the best one yet!

Raymond and Grace, my parents, are having a small fete at our large Park Avenue apartment.

The humans will wear masks and social distance, due to the corona virus. I hope the festivities will bring good cheer, especially needed this year.

Just a few friends are here, along with Ricardo, my poodle beau, Lexi, my English Sheepdog pal, and her people. Jorge, our chef, is doing the cooking and will be a guest, and Ardsley, our butler, will serve and then join the celebration.

Mojito, my Chihuahua walking partner, is home. I hope his owners can hear the TV broadcasting the Times Square New Year’s countdown and his annoying barking is not heard around town.

The ambience is sublime, perfect to dine, and have a great time.

The fragrance emanating from our crystal vases of beautiful flowers will last for hours. The elegance of roses and gardenias . . . Ahh . . .

Scented gold candles adorn our living room. The glimmering lights shine in the night.

The dining room table is set with gold décor, and there is more! Courtesy of Jorge, there’s gourmet food galore!

A four-course meal, featuring shrimp cocktail, salad with beets and gorgonzola, filet mignon with bearnaise sauce, scalloped potatoes, and seasonal veggies await. It will be great! Bien sur, as a dog, I crave steak. And my wishes are to have the other yummy dishes, too. Yahoo!

Jorge baked dessert delights to usher in this special night. His decadent cakes and pies entice the eye.

Get this: Jorge is making a big gold-colored Baked Alaska dessert in the shape of the New Year's Eve's ball. The concoction will be flambed, but a warning to our butler, Ardsley: 'Stay Away!'

A large and embellished gold ball hangs on our living room ceiling, but for safety, it doesn’t drop. Leave it to my mommy and pop!

The TV in the living room will be on for the New Year’s countdown. This year people can’t be in Times Square to see the ball drop ten seconds before midnight. I'll miss seeing the big crowd, but only the police and a few live performers are allowed.

Recorded swing and popular music is playing, and Grace and Raymond are swaying.

As for this poodle girl, I can’t wait to get on my hind legs and twirl. Bring on ‘The Nutcracker’ by Tchaikovsky; He’s the one for me! Maybe later Grace will dance with me.

The typical human goals are to lose weight and improve money matters. I don't worry about dollars, but as a female canine, I have to keep my figure looking fine.

I pride myself in being smart, so it’s time for me to brush off my poodle pompoms and get a new start.

Since I do not rest on my dog laurels, I’ve made seven resolutions. In descending order, they are:

7. I will do more exercise to burn calories. Frank will take us on frequent jaunts, even if they are short. Have to keep moving and grooving.

Maybe Raymond and Grace can buy me a Sherpa jogging suit and pooch sneaks for my poodle feet.

On very cold days I can also sprint around inside and hit my stride. Perhaps I’ll ride the exercise bike with one of my human’s help. But they must adjust.

Ricardo admires my shape, but don’t want to resemble an ape. I mean, the holiday eating, lunches, and steak dinners take a toll. I have to maintain my curves, but don’t want to look like a bowl.

It’s important that I preserve my Park Avenue poodle image. Want the paparazzi to keep taking pictures of me.

6. I want to attempt to find Mojito an actual girlfriend. I know many canines, and Frank does, as well, but it will be real difficile.

Calling All Female Dogs: Is there one very patient pooch that can put up with the obstinate Chihuahua with the disturbing bow-wow? She has to be tres understanding. Maybe Mojito can entice her with his Park Avenue bling.

Could this obsessive dog ever stop talking about females in multiples and a 70-girl harem, and just focus on getting one? I mean, as far as love prospects, Mojito has none.

Does Mojito’s doggie counterpart even exist? Well, he better meet her, and that’s my wish.

He is so difficult, yappy, and he’s unhappy. If Mojito meets a girl, maybe she can tag along with us. One that is crazy too and a little tone deaf might be perfect for Mojito.

Hope I don't find out it’s a mistake, and that she's too much to take. Double trouble? No thanks.

An added benefit if the Chihuahua gets a girlfriend: Maybe he'll leave Lexi, my Sheepdog BFF, alone. Mixed-up Mojito imagines Lexi as his Number One girl/wife. Mojito realizes that pretty Lexi can’t see him with all that fur in her eyes. Not to mention she’s about five times his size! But the smart Sheepdog tells Mojito: 'As if!'

News Flash: I’m now his Number Two girl/wife candidate. Bear in mind that it is like every girl Mojito sees, he wants. He’s like a kid in a toy store: ‘Give me this and give me that!’ I don’t want to say it, but Mojito’s like a brat.

5. I want to try and understand Ardsley, and his jealous dynamic towards Jorge better.

Let's begin: Jorge, our chef, makes delicious meals, and he and Ricardo, my boyfriend, live with us. So, we have the luxury of Four-Star home dining. Why not call it the 'Margerys Café?’ Hooray!

Ardsley, our butler, does set a lovely table. If he complained less and if he subtracted argumentative, it would be much better, and that should be one of Ardsley's resolutions. Absolutely!

Our butler and our chef are a study in contrasts. Yes, that’s it.

English Ardsley figures he should live the good life with a beautiful wife, yet (like Mojito), there's not a lady in sight. He brags that he trained at the Thames Butler Academy across the pond, but let’s face it, he’s no James Bond.

Spanish Jorge studied at a renowned cooking school in Paris. Oui! Oui! How many French girls swooned when he strolled the Champs Elysee? Surely, Jorge made their day. And when they heard his Spanish accent, he was a hit. His 'Si' and their 'Oui' became a combined 'Ouisi!' When in doubt, Jorge opted for 'Yes' to impress. Two languages can create romance. Then there are gestures that are just like dance. Sometimes no words need to be heard. A touch of the hand, a stroke of the hair, a kiss, and a tender look may be all it took.

Granted Ardsley can carry a plate, but he never has a date!

On the other hand, Jorge is a real looker and a superb cooker. When ladies are around, they fawn over him. Grumpy Ardsley sets the table for din.

Women love to sample Jorge's culinary delights and say he is out of sight!

Jorge is fantastic, while Ardsley is usually sarcastic.

Our chef is very polite, but our antagonistic butler is always ready to fight.

Jorge is refined, while Ardsley is a rude dude.

With a beaming smile, Jorge has so much style. On the other hand, frowning Ardsley is dressed in his butler’s costume and mumbles, and grumbles around the room.

Jorge has unabashed charm, but is there any harm? Jorge is positive and uplifts, and this is a real gift.

I don't want to gush, but I can't praise Jorge enough! He has that 'je ne sais quoi,' and as the Swedish say: 'Yaj!'

Then there's Ardsley, who is a bitter gent and resents Jorge's talents.

Our butler can barely fry an egg, overcooks meat, burns toast, and then boasts. Meanwhile, Jorge is modest and gives us nothing but his best.

Jorge's desire for excellence never stops. Some might say it's over the top! Whatever cuisine or dish Grace wants, Jorge creates. He aims to please and succeeds. He's like Samantha on 'Bewitched' without a nose twitch! He stirs and folds with one hand, and voila: food that is grand!

Ardsley’s lucky he has a job, but he is such a snob.

It's no doubt that our chef is very congenial and clean; Our butler is barely neat, but he's mean. Grace supervises Ardsley, inspects, and corrects.

Ardsley is conceited for no good reason and is not pleasing during any season.

Our butler's attitude of superiority masks his feelings of inferiority. Call it jealousy with a capital J, and it's evident in every way.

The bottom line is that like a fine wine, Jorge is rare, but Ardsley doesn't seem to care. He doesn't put much effort into his work and acts like a jerk.

Ardsley rolls his eyes and can't deal with Jorge being a prize. Maybe Ardsley knows he just can't compete any day of the week.

Jorge fits in perfectly on Park Avenue, while Ardsley manages a basic: ‘How do you do?'

Ardsley complains that he resides in a little NYC apartment, but Jorge lives in our penthouse, and will probably get a beautiful spouse.

Maybe it is not fair, but these two can't compare.

Jorge has Ricardo, my poodle beau, while Ardsley is solo. Our butler said maybe he'll get a canine, so he can have a life that is mighty fine. But, come on, Ardsley, just grow up! -- It takes more than getting a pup. And what dog would want you? Maybe Mojito! Oh, he's got humans, but you're perfect for each other -- one of a kind -- both out of your mind!

You get the picture, so enough said. Now can I have a piece of Jorge’s homemade bread?

4. The romantic French words for 'I love you' and 'I adore you,' 'Je t'aime' and 'Je t'adore,' I’ll tell Ricardo more. He is the most affectionate boyfriend. Sprinkle in handsome, charming, and sweet, and Ricardo can't be beat. I'm a very lucky canine. Love is sublime.

Ricardo gives me back rubs, and I'll give him more hugs.

3. Speaking of admiration, I will tell Frank, my dog walker, more how much I love and appreciate him. He walks me three times a day, seven days a week!

He’s devoted to me and is kind as can be.

Frank does just about everything for moi! He dresses me, takes us to Central Park, and we used to lunch at Café Beaucoup: me, Frank, Ricardo, and you know who. Now we eat at home or in a heated area at the park and play on a lark.

When Mojito acts up, Frank mediates, and he brings me bacon treats. Mojito gets calming CBD biscuits to eat.

On my Beauty Days at Ma Belle Chien, Frank used to wait four hours for me to finish! Now my stylist, Lilly, does apartment house calls when she can. Occasionally, I go to the salon for a ‘special occasion poodle hairdo.’

Frank loves caramel lattes and pastries, and he is patient as can be.

We go clothes shopping when I want or need something. My people advise him what to buy, and pronto, it’s done! Frank asks if I like the color and style, and usually, I say ‘Yes’ and smile.

He escorts me to Dr. Barton’s office, who is my vet, for my medical and dental check-ups. If I get nervous, Frank calms me down.

And what would I do without Frank translating my barks to my pet parents?

Frank is my 'Super Dog Walker and Great Friend' and on that I can depend!

So, mom and dad please buy Frank a New Year's gift from me, like a luxurious cashmere coat with matching leather gloves, lined with cashmere. I'll tell Jorge, who understands poodle talk to inform Grace.

Frank was very happy with the big Christmas bonus my parents gave him, and I am talking beaucoup bucks. And he can wear the coat and gloves when he takes his wife and kids out to celebrate because he rates!

He is with his family for New Year’s Eve, but he walked me, Ricardo, and Mojito earlier. Mojito was unexpectedly mellow and that's because of the CBD treats that Frank gave him to eat.

Wait! I’ll have Jorge bake Frank a chocolate souffle or a Black Forest cake!

2. This resolution is for the rest of our household staff and my stylist. Of course, I’ll thank Jorge for his delicious meals. I'll even say thank you to Ardsley. Don't want to get on his bad side, since he feeds me sometimes.

I'm grateful to Francine, my nanny, for keeping our place lovely by cleaning it and rearranging things, when necessary. Thanks to Francine for making my room pristine. But when she is not around, my clothes are sometimes on the ground. You see, I share the room with Ricardo, and he's also been known to throw his paw socks and hoodies on the floor. So, I will try to keep our room tidier. Maybe I can take my paw or my teeth and put the outfits, and socks away.

Ditto to Lilly, my Ma Belle Chien stylist, who perfects my poodle hair. Why, she’s extraordinaire! I don't see her as often now, but when she pampers me, all I can say is: 'Wow!'

DRUM ROLLS, PLEASE! HERE'S MY NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION:

1. My parents take such good care of me. Dad works hard on Wall Street to provide for our family and gives us a beautiful home on Park Avenue with a great Manhattan view. We have terrific food to eat, not to mention my stylish canine clothes and booties for my feet.

I have very pretty bedding, toys, and stuffed animals for hims and hers.

Grace has become more attentive and reads me bedtime stories, poems, and tomes.

So, I’ll greet my parents with big kisses and bark: ‘Je t’aime!’ more often.

They don't understand poodle yet, so maybe Frank can write notes that say: 'Mommy and daddy, I love you! Your poodle kid, Simone.'

Frank bought chocolate ganache truffles from a Madison Avenue chocolatier and gave them to Grace and Raymond from me. Mom said they are yummy!

An added wish: I aim to look better, if that’s even possible, feel my best, and be friendlier to dogs and people. I’m all about progress.

I also want to write more poems and stories, and maybe I'll even write a book!

On this New Year's Eve, I appreciate 2020, but it has been a very difficult year. The corona virus has caused so many people to die and to be very sick. I want everyone to be healed.

I wish that businesses prosper and thrive, and that everything re-opens.

I want people to be secure, and have good lives, and enjoy again.

I thank all the frontline workers and healthcare professionals: the doctors, nurses, EMTs, and medical staff.

I appreciate the police and firefighters, and workers in food stores, retail stores, and pharmacies.

Thank you to the pharmaceutical companies for developing vaccines, and I look forward to them eradicating the corona virus.

I express gratitude to all the restaurants and their staff for their food deliveries and to-go orders when we could not eat inside. I also thank them for being so diligent in keeping the environment so clean and safe.

It goes without saying that I thank everyone for putting forth such an effort in wearing masks, sanitizing, and social distancing. While it has been far from fun, it is so important for the safety and health of everyone.

To all the abandoned and neglected animals: I hope you get happy forever homes. I hope someone will keep you warm and protect you from harm. Dogs and cats: You deserve love and protection, and much affection.

So, have a good time, and I hope all your goals and dreams come true. And that's from me to you!

Ardsley is pouring bubbly, and everyone, including Jorge, has their champagne flutes ready to toast 2021!

Ricardo and me, and Lexi don’t feel left out, since Ardsley is serving us champagne in doggie crystal glasses. FYI, it’s mostly Perrier with a little champagne.

And are you ready? Surprise, surprise, our butler is getting ready to toast a Happy New Year to Jorge! Wonders never cease; I guess Ardsley wants to make peace. Between you and me, I think Ardsley feels guilty as can be, since regarding Jorge, he has been far from friendly.

As I told you, Jorge can’t help it if he’s got it all. Maybe Ardsley would have a piece of the pie (figuratively, since he eats Jorge’s pies), if he acted like Jorge and that means being nice. And that is my meaningful advice.

The Times Square countdown is beginning, and Raymond and Grace are calling me and Ricardo to watch TV.

The ball is starting to drop: 'TEN ... NINE ... EIGHT ... SEVEN ... SIX ... FIVE ...'

I’ve got to go!

Soon 2020 is done, and may the New Year bring good health, peace, prosperity, and love to everyone.

Celebrate and best wishes for 2021! Hope you have much fun!

Bonne annee! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hear, hear!”

Written by: Simone, THE Park Avenue poodle, helped by Karen-Cherie Cogane