The Hard Lessons I Wish I Knew as a Female Founder in Tech: How to Prioritise Wellbeing, Balance Success, and Lead with Compassion

Being a female founder in the tech industry has been one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences of my life. Building a business from the ground up takes focus, resilience, and a willingness to push beyond the ordinary. But I've learned that amidst all the deadlines, meetings, and product launches, it’s easy to neglect the most important resource—myself. I wanted to share a few things that I wish I knew and would have prioritised during those early startup days. These insights have made a world of difference in helping me take care of myself while staying true to my professional goals.

Recognising Self-Care as an Investment in My Success

At first, I used to see self-care as something optional—nice to have, but not necessary when there’s so much to do. But I’ve since shifted my perspective. Self-care is not about indulgence; it’s about maintaining the energy and mental clarity I need to lead effectively. I realised that when I take care of myself, I make better decisions, communicate more clearly, and keep my creativity flowing.

I’ve built small rituals into my daily routine that recharge me—like taking a 10-minute walk in the morning before diving into emails, or setting aside time to read something purely for enjoyment. These little breaks have become essential to my day, keeping me motivated and grounded as I work on what I love.

Setting Boundaries with My Work and Personal Life

Balancing the demands of running a business with personal commitments hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned the importance of setting boundaries. For me, it’s about protecting time for the things that matter outside of work, like spending evenings with my family instead of constantly being available for late-night calls or after-work events.

I make it a point to schedule personal time in my calendar—just like I would for an important meeting. It might be a yoga class, a quiet dinner with my partner, or simply an hour to read a novel. This time is non-negotiable for me, and it’s helped me maintain a healthier balance between my professional and personal lives.

And I’ve learned the power of saying “no” strategically. Not every opportunity or request aligns with my goals or values, and I’ve become more comfortable turning down things that don’t serve my vision. It’s not always easy, but it’s been essential for protecting my time and energy.

Building Relationships in My Own Way

Networking is often pictured as attending endless after-work events, grabbing drinks at the pub, and mingling late into the night—things that don’t necessarily align with my personal life. I choose to spend my evenings with my family, and I used to worry that I was missing out on networking opportunities because of this. But I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Instead, I’ve focused on building relationships in a way that fits my life. One of the best strategies I’ve found is looking within my own industry for potential partnerships. There’s so much potential when companies in the same space collaborate rather than compete. If another business is specialising in an area that complements mine, I reach out to see if there’s a way to work together. Acting ethically and respecting my industry has been key to building these partnerships.

And I can’t stress enough how valuable LinkedIn has been for this. Even if I can’t make it to every in-person event, I can still connect with incredible people online. I started setting aside 90 minutes each week to reach out to new contacts, share my goals, or invite someone for a virtual coffee. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time, but it can make a world of difference. These connections have become an important part of my support system, and they’ve been instrumental in keeping me grounded and focused.

Embracing Technology-Free Zones

As a tech founder, I’m constantly surrounded by devices and screens. It’s easy to fall into the trap of being “always on,” but I’ve realised how important it is to unplug now and then. I’ve started designating tech-free hours, especially in the evenings, to give my mind some space to unwind.

These small breaks have been crucial. Stepping outside for a few minutes or taking a moment to breathe deeply helps me reset, especially on those days when everything seems to be moving at full speed. These tiny moments of pause give me the focus I need to dive back into work with a clearer mind.

Prioritising Self-Reflection and Mindfulness

With the constant stream of decisions that come with leading a business, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. I’ve found that self-reflection is a powerful way to reconnect with my goals and ensure I’m staying true to myself. Journaling has become a simple but effective tool for me. I take a few minutes each day to jot down what went well, what I struggled with, and what I’m grateful for.

I’ve also learned to appreciate the power of micro moments. It doesn’t always take a long meditation session to make a difference—sometimes, a 90-second mindfulness break can do wonders. Taking just a moment to breathe deeply and centre myself helps me manage stress, especially on those busy days.

I’ve also sought out professional support when I’ve needed it, whether it’s a coach or a therapist. Having a safe space to explore challenges and new perspectives has been essential to my journey. It’s just as important to invest in my own growth as it is to invest in my business.

Defining Success on My Own Terms

We’re constantly surrounded by external definitions of success—more funding, global expansion, scaling at every opportunity. But I’ve learned that success isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s deeply personal, and it should reflect what matters most to me.

I remember mentoring a fellow female founder who had an opportunity to scale her business beyond Australia but chose not to pursue it. At that point in her life, being present with her young family was her priority. Yet, she shared this decision with a sense of shame, feeling as if she wasn’t living up to the “standard” of success.

Her story resonated with me because it’s a reminder that success can look different for each of us. For some, it might mean building a global brand, while for others, it’s about creating a sustainable, local business that allows for a balanced life. What’s most important is that my version of success aligns with my values, not with societal expectations.

Celebrating Every Achievement, Big and Small

In the rush to reach the next milestone, I used to forget to celebrate the small wins. But I’ve come to see the value in acknowledging every step forward, no matter how minor it might seem. Whether it’s solving a tricky problem or reaching a small weekly goal, taking a moment to appreciate these wins helps keep me motivated.

I encourage my team to do the same, creating a work culture where we celebrate progress, not just perfection. It’s a simple way to foster positivity and keep the focus on what we’ve accomplished together.

As female leaders, we are constantly modeling what is possible, and our actions are paving the way for future female founders. The way we prioritise our wellbeing sends a powerful message—it shows that it’s possible to be both a dedicated leader and a well-rounded individual. We have a responsibility not just to ourselves, but to the women coming up behind us, to demonstrate that success can be defined by more than just business metrics; it can include the quality of life we create for ourselves.

But let’s be honest—we're not always going to get it right. I, for one, will raise my hand and admit that I trip over a lot. There are days when I don’t get the balance right, when the pressures of work and life feel overwhelming. That’s where compassion and self-reflection become so important. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being willing to learn from the stumbles, to forgive ourselves, and to keep moving forward with intention. While I may not always have it all figured out, I know that I am responsible for my actions, and I strive to make choices that support both my wellbeing and my vision.

By embracing self-care, we’re not only fueling our own energy, creativity, and resilience, but we’re also challenging the norms of leadership in a high-pressure industry. And it’s crucial that we hold each other accountable in this journey—reminding one another that taking time for ourselves is not a weakness, but a strength. My hope is that sharing my experiences can encourage others to make space for their own wellbeing and redefine success in a way that truly resonates with them, building a future where women leaders thrive, both personally and professionally.