Harder Than Expected: Why I Went Silent and the Challenges of Change

Reflecting on my past 6 months, I realized that the nomadic lifestyle – letting go of material constraints mirrored the shift I'm advocating for leadership: Letting go of command-and-control to embrace adaptability, collaboration, and freedom.

My old life wasn’t serving me, but I had become accustomed to the discomfort. It had become “normal.” Similarly, corporate leaders are also suffering but accept that suffering as “normal.” Studies by IBM and McKinsey show that 70% of large-scale corporate initiatives end in failure—a statistic that hasn’t changed in over 20 years. The Harvard Business Review reports that 97% of senior executives experience burnout, with a third describing it as extreme. Gallup’s worker engagement survey shows that 77% of workers globally are disengaged.

We’re accepting a broken system and are, all of us, suffering as a result.

This widespread acceptance of failure connects directly to my own journey. In the last stretch of my entrepreneurial career, being in the staffing industry had become untenable. Staffing is an extractive industry applying the simple process of buying stuff to the immensely complicated process of engaging with humans.  I also wasn't doing anything to make the world better. Yes, I helped people get jobs, but was it transformative? Rarely. I had become so focused on “getting through,” chasing a brass ring I never wanted in the first place, that I lost track of who I was.

Part of my journey was a seven-month public speaking course with Heroic Public Speaking. After our first in-person session, I realized I had reverted to being the “class clown”—a vestige defense mechanism of my high school and college days, designed to mask my insecurity. I was living, not out of purpose, but out of fear. And I didn’t want that anymore. But shedding that insecurity meant stepping into the unknown. I had spent so much time being driven by fear and inadequacy that I was no longer sure who I was without those things.  It was a terrifying realization.

I see a strong parallel in organizational leadership. Command-and-control is no longer working – the statistics make that clear. Yet many leaders define themselves by their ability to make decisions, to be in charge. Leadership in this new era requires empowering others, creating environments where experimentation is safe, and allowing people to make decisions independently.

My understanding of myself had been defined by insecurity, just as many leaders’ understandings of leadership are defined by outdated ideas of control. My salvation has been in letting go and leading a life driven by purpose. Similarly, corporate leaders need to shed command-and-control and step into that which is foreign to them.

Leadership today requires creating environments where it’s okay to experiment and make mistakes—where people know they will be supported.  Leadership in this new age requires that we work to create an environment where others can be expressive of their own leadership ability.  

Letting go is hard, especially if we don’t know what we are stepping into.  I get it.  But it is so much more satisfying and fun to lead this way.

This was a big parallel on our journey: Just as in leadership, on our journey, Stacey and I learned that true support is a way to distribute power effectively. When we arrived at a disappointing Airbnb in Plymouth, MA, Stacey (who picks the houses) burst into tears. In that moment, I realized that my role wasn't to place blame but to lift her up by focusing on what did work. This experience taught us that distributing power through support, rather than control or blame, was crucial to our success. We've had to change our dynamic significantly to make this journey work, and it has made us stronger together.

This journey—redefining myself and seeking a community that aligns with our values—mirrors the journey I think corporate leaders need to take. Stepping into public speaking and consulting has been fulfilling for me, and it aligns with my purpose: helping others adapt to the changes we’re facing, moving away from command-and-control, and embracing a better way to lead.

This journey has also helped me realize something important about my message. My LinkedIn content had been focused on the importance of being purpose-led and running a business from that deep sense of purpose. That hasn’t changed, but now my focus is on the importance of tapping into the profound connection shared by all of humanity as a way for organizations to thrive in this age of disruption.

This connection extends to how we think about power in organizations. Power is fluid, and in successful relationships, we recognize that. But in the workplace, we often fight those shifts. A boss might think they’re in control, but when a star employee resigns, they feel that shift. Not recognizing these dynamics leads to suffering.

The world is about to change, dramatically. Our ability to thrive through this time requires embracing that change. That’s why I’m excited to be back on LinkedIn, sharing insights and continuing this conversation.

If you have questions about our travels and learnings, or there is something you would like to hear about in future posts please let me know in the comments.  Spinning up the regular LinkedIn posting habit will be challenging so knowing what you want me to speak about will be really helpful.

Regardless, it’s good to be back in communication with Y'all.