Heal From Trauma and Rediscover Yourself

Can you answer this question, "What Do You Want In Life?"

Many high achievers that I coach find themselves at a crossroads with their identity and this particular question is one that is very difficult to answer.

These leaders have usually done some amazing things in their lives and careers, acquiring awards and accolades in their work, yet only feeling empty inside no matter the size of their paychecks, homes, or cars they drive. 

They know they are on fire to do something big in this world but whatever they’ve done thus far just hasn’t made their soul come alive.

Does this ring true for you?  If so, keep reading for clarity on how to overcome this pattern of dissatisfaction in life.

I can remember burning out of a corporate sales job after working for a boss who exhibited some narcissistic personality traits in early 2020.  Once I left and decided to build my own business I started to do some deep transformational leadership work. Little did I know that on one of those training days, I would be the last one standing in a room of 200 people being asked over and over, “What do you want?”  I just stood there behind the Zoom screen in complete freeze mode.  

It took me years of work after that to understand what was happening. The leadership room led me to believe that it was my fault that I didn’t know and that something was wrong with me because I couldn’t connect to my heart’s desires.  I kept searching for answers, overcoming physical and mental traumas that had happened in my life. 

In 2023, I dedicated my education to understanding the nervous system because I knew internally I was blocked. My body was giving me signs of inflammation, hormonal imbalances, great fatigue, and signs of burnout again after all of these years.  

You see we can’t just shift our mindset or learn higher level emotional intelligence and leadership skills to overcome stored trauma in our body.  Those of us who have survived traumatic experiences or are living in environments that cause us a great amount of stress response need a different approach to healing. 

We must develop emotional resiliency, a positive mindset, and leadership skills like boundary setting but we'll only be able to do this fully when our bodies are regulated. 

So how do we learn how to regulate our body, mind, and soul?

At first, it requires third party since we're not usually taught how to do this during our childhood or in college.  Here are some recommendations for the process I use and teach that helps people break through to their next level of greatness without re-traumatizing clients who are recovering from big life events: 

• #1: I always recommend that my clients utilize these difficult moments in life to become closer to God as he is the ultimate healer.  While I can teach you a million modalities that are helpful, only he can truly take away our sorrows. Just want to give credit where credit is truly due here!
• We also can be responsible as humans to learn how the body biologically reacts to chronic stress and can hold traumatic memories in the cells of the body.  Maybe you've read "The Body Keeps Score" or heard about Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing model. Your thoughts create your biological responses in the body so we must learn how to release excess stress, fear, and anxiety through somatic work. This will help you rewire your nervous system for greater emotional tolerance and resiliency vs. barely surviving in constant threat detection mode.
• Learning how to slow your breathing throughout the day to help your parasympathetic nervous come online is a very easy way to calm your body as you continue to live in a stress-filled world and you can do this while in a meeting, how convenient!

• Discover how to connect with your body and emotions. You will start to feel hope-filled and gain clarity in what you want in life, career, and relationships because you’ll be regulated.  This takes time and it’s not an overnight process, no matter what the personal development industry tries to sell you.  It’s a unique journey for everyone!

• Partnering with a trauma-informed coach is incredibly helpful when navigating your desire for high performance when you’re trying to heal from some major life experience. 
• A coach that understands these processes won’t guilt and shame you.  They will attune to your needs and healing path while also standing for your greatness. The difference is that you won’t feel bullied into anyone else’s expectations and that you will be in a safe environment to lead your own wants and needs.  You’ll learn how to feel safe in your body again and be able to shift out of negative thoughts much easier.  

This is the power of collaborating with a coach who is truly in their work to help you heal and not in it for their vanity and results (we've seen those coaches all over Insta and FB!).  They will go to great lengths to help you shift out of the darkness of trauma and into a life that is filled with light, hope, purpose, and impact.

Choose wisely my friends, pray, and use discernment to make your best decision on finding help.  Eliminating burnout is a process and there are many layers to getting to the root cause of what is causing you to feel stuck in the cycle of fear and anxiety.  You can overcome this and live your life with freedom, joy, and ease.  

If you’re looking for a coach or want to learn more about what coaching can do for you vs. therapy, yoga classes, or living your life on anxiety medication, connect with me for more information at amy@amyleighlooper.com.