"Her Husband’s Credit Card”: Why This Holiday Messaging Needs to End

The holiday season is here, and with it comes the flood of ads and social media videos clinging to outdated, insulting narratives. One recently caught my attention. It showed a woman shopping with “her husband’s credit card” while the other staff helped distract the husband from sitting in the lobby.

This isn’t just frustrating—it’s maddening. The video promotes the tired idea that women don’t have their own money, coupled with the equally damaging notion that women are frivolous spenders sneaking purchases behind their partner’s back. Either stereotype is terrible enough on its own, but together, they’re even worse, reinforcing the idea that women are both financially dependent and irresponsible.

My husband and I have chosen to be equals in our relationship. We handle our accounts because it works for us, especially as two business owners. Even as an employee, I managed my finances and was entirely responsible for the money I earned. That has always been important to me—not because of some external pressure, but because I value knowing and owning my financial situation.

When I shop, I don’t need my husband’s approval, credit card, or input on whether something is worth buying. I can’t even imagine dragging him along to shop, let alone orchestrating some elaborate scheme to sneak purchases past him. Honestly, I barely enjoy shopping myself. But when I do, the only person who decides if something looks good on me is me.

The stereotype in these ads is especially prevalent in portrayals of heterosexual relationships, where the dynamic often assumes a husband controlling the finances and a wife depending on his money. This narrative is not only outdated, but it also dismisses the reality of countless women who work hard to earn and manage their own money.

As a woman in a heterosexual partnership, I find these stereotypes insulting, not only to myself but to all women.

I called it out—not in a comment thread or a quick reply, but in a direct message to the creator. Why? This narrative isn’t just outdated—it’s harmful. It undermines the progress women have made in achieving financial independence and perpetuates a damaging message for women everywhere.

If you’re as fed up with this nonsense as I am, here’s what you can do:

• Start taking control of your finances. If you don’t already manage your own money, now is the time to start. Learn how to take charge of your financial future. Tori Dunlap is an excellent resource for building financial literacy and independence.
• Call out problematic content. When you see ads or videos like this, don’t let them slide. Send a direct message to the company or creator. Let them know these narratives are outdated, harmful, and unacceptable.
• Make an impact with your wallet. If a business doesn’t listen or refuses to change, take the next step. Spend your money with companies that empower women, not those that perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Studies have shown that financial independence is one of the strongest predictors of personal well-being and relationship satisfaction. If this is true, why wouldn’t we want over half the population—women—to be in a better state of wellness and have more fulfilled relationships?