Here’s how to ask your network for help and actually get it

We all know that an important way to accelerate your job search is to be introduced to people who are senior and may be hiring managers. However, we also know that whilst promises are made in the moment, follow through and actually making the connection happens all too infrequently. So, what can you do to encourage your network contacts to actually deliver on what they say they’ll do in the moment?

Beyond recruiters: drawing on your professional network

First, let’s be clear about who we’re talking about. We’re not talking about recruiters, who are often world-class at ghosting! Rather, this is all about those people who you’d consider to be your network contacts and who you now want to draw on for help by means of introductions to relevant leaders and decision makers.

Our belief is that the vast majority of these people are great people who, in the moment of making the commitment, really do intend to make that introduction. Yet, so often, nothing materialises in practice. This is something that consistently comes up as an issue for my coaching clients. 

This lack of follow through on promises made could be for any number of reasons. Possibly, they forget or procrastinate because life simply gets in the way. Other times it might be because, on reflection, they don’t want to call in a favour. 

Let’s consider the first of these points:

1. What’s the nature of your relationship with this contact? Is this someone who you’ve built a good relationship with? Have you kept in regular contact? Have you consistently added value over the years?
2. Have you considered what’s in it for them if they do this favour for you by making this introduction? Maybe they feel that you’ve been so good to them that they kind of owe you. Perhaps, it’s just in their nature to help others on their journey. Perhaps they can see how they would be adding value to their contact by introducing you. 

How to best approach a network contact

There are, without a doubt, ways of approaching a network contact that will maximise your chances of success:

• Pre-frame them by saying that some really great people have been very kind and made introductions. One or two haven’t followed through but that‘s to be expected. You’re setting up the idea that following through with promises made is most welcome.
• Having asked who the right person to reach out to at an organisation is, you can say that you’ll reach out and then ask your contact if it’s ok for you to mention their name. You could preface this by letting your contact know that you want to make all of this as low effort and hassle free as possible.
• If your contact does agree to you using their name, you might ask the contact for the details of the person you want to speak to. This keeps you in control of the process and you’re not relying on your contact to take any action. It’s more likely to get the ball rolling. Of course, your contact might insist on reaching out on your behalf and being the gateway to this connection. In this case, thank them and ask for a vague timeline.
• Offer some reciprocation. As fans of Dr Robert Cialdini, we know that reciprocation is a powerful factor in influencing others. So offer to reciprocate - “Is there anything that I can do for you? Is there anyone who I can introduce you to?”
• Once the commitment has been made, you can get permission to give them a nudge in one or two weeks’ time. The thought that you’re going to follow up with them may be just enough to get them over the line and take action. 

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I truly believe that the people that you ask for help from are typically well meaning and, in the moment, do want to help you. But after your conversation is over, life comes at them full throttle and the new task they agreed to isn’t urgent. Understandably, it’s not as important as others so it just drifts down the to-do list and doesn’t get done. Anything that you can do to encourage them to take action ASAP to help you on your job search path might just be the critical thing that makes all the difference.

If you’re currently in the midst of a job search and would benefit from some guidance on how to draw on your network to bring you one step closer to your next dream job, let’s talk.