The Hidden Force That Could Help You Be an Inspiring Leader

“Good leaders ask great questions that inspire others to dream more, think more, learn more, do more, and become more.”

John C. Maxwell

The true leaders possess many qualities.

One of the most hidden and therefore often underestimated is the ability to ask questions of value.

Generally speaking, in our society in present times and in the past as well, we are more focused on finding all the answers, rather than asking the right questions. Especially in the younger age. Usually when we start our professional lives it is really hard to listen to the others.

When I was starting my professional career about twenty five years ago, I was full of knowledge and all I wanted was to share it with the world around me. So I was talking all the time. Listening to my own voice. With a huge ego, always high up in the sky.

It took me almost a decade to realize that it is impossible to learn something when you are the person who speaks. And I've learned it firsthand.

I was just promoted as a manager. And I always thought of myself as the smartest person in the room. Even when this was true, which was very rarely the case, you cannot gain anything while you are listening to your own voice. It will result in creating of a toxic environment in the team, in which one part will, so to speak, walk on dead bodies to impress their egocentric manager. The other part, the part of the clever ones, will leave the team faster than they arrive.

Fortunately, my manager had an approach which was the complete opposite of mine. He was always calm, listening carefully, asking questions to gather as much facts as possible and then make a strategy how to deal with the situation.

And while the results of my team slowly started to decrease, the results of his team were gradually increasing.

Things were not very good for my team and me, so I started to analyze the situation we were in. I have decided that rather than focusing on our failure, which we were obviously good at, we need to focus on the successful examples.

So I started to listen and observe, what my manager was doing with his team and how. We were doing regular team meetings on a weekly basis and also regular individual meetings at least once a week. Usually after every team meeting and especially after the individual meetings we were having, I was highly enthusiastic and motivated to do my very best. What it was that he was doing so well that I was missing?! And I figured it out...

It was the quality of his questions. So I did the obvious and started to copy his modus operandi. And I discovered a whole new world. The world of questions. There are different classifications for the different types of questions. The one that resonates best for me with the time was the following:

1. Yes/No - questions that require answering Yes or No.
2. Wh/H - questions that start with a question word such as: What, Where, Why, Who, Whose, When, Which or How, or the so called open-ended questions.
3. Alternative - questions that are giving alternatives to choose from for the recipient.
4. Hypothetical - questions based on supposition.
5. Tag - questions that transform a statement into a question by asking for confirmation.
6. Embedded (indirect) - questions we use in reported speech or when we ask polite questions, e.g. "She asked me where the nearest train station was."/ "Could you tell me how I can go to The City centre?".
7. Leading - questions we use when we want to get the answer we desire.

I would strongly advise you not to use the last type of questions at all, because it will be a clear manipulation.

All other types are a strong basis for effective communication for both sides.

Of course, despite the fact that many people use predominantly Yes/No question, it is a very good idea to practice as much as possible asking open-ended questions for the simple reason that they require thinking and reasoning. The more often we ask this type of questions, the better. Because when we ask people open-ended questions would mean that their own opinion on the subject matters, their voice is heard and therefore important. And the quality in our questions will come with the practice.

In the end asking questions is an art. A hidden force that when we master will give us the ability to empower the people around us to succeed. It is up to us. All we have to do is listen and observe our partner in communication.

And for sure is a requirement if we want to be successful leaders.

Or like Mr. Larry King, one of the best role models in the field worldwide, who has made over 60 000 interviews in his life and who sadly past away this year puts it:

"I Never Learned Anything by Talking.”

-Stoyan