This Holiday Season: The Eyes Are A Window To The Soul

The holiday season, with Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year, and other special days, are filled with joy-spending time with families and friends. For many people, Christmas is a time of reminiscing about past times and looking forward to new memories. Many families decorate their homes with festive lights and ornaments during this particular time, exchange gifts, and enjoy a traditional dinner. 

On Christmas Day, the churches hold services to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. New Year's brings new beginnings, hope for better times, and resolutions for self-improvement. However, for many, Christmas and the holidays do not bring happiness. Instead, for some, it reminds them of the good relationships they were not fortunate to have. It reminds them of their tumultuous upbringing and lack of close relationships with their families. Christmas for these people can be bittersweet and, quite frankly, painful.

Like so many of us, hurting people put a smile on their faces, but their smiles don't reach their eyes. The eyes can be seen as the gateway to one's soul. It's heartbreaking to witness someone putting on a façade of happiness, but their true feelings remain deep in the recesses of their heart. The eyes are often the giveaway that enables us to decode the genuine emotion behind that smile. Although the person may think they can hide what is happening inside, it's hard to mask the sorrow behind their eyes. There is something so powerful about eye contact - it penetrates deep and exposes raw emotions and vulnerabilities. So when looking into another person's eyes, you can almost see all the hopes, dreams, and fears locked away as if you could reach out and touch somebody’s soul.

Could you reach out to those you know, especially those you haven't heard from? Please make an effort to connect with them and let them know that you're there for them. Showing compassion and empathy can go a long way and help restore someone's faith in humanity. There is something so comforting about being understood, especially when feeling isolated or vulnerable. Let those around you know it’s ok not to be ok, and hold the space for them to share if they are comfortable. Remember, even if your experiences might have been different, it does not change the fact that their experience is valid.

Reach out to those who might not be looking forward to the holidays. Show them unconditional love year-round, so they finally feel included when it comes to Christmas time, even if it is just for one day. If you make an effort to continuously feel included and welcome in our closer circles, when Christmas comes around, they will likely be less likely to think that they are both. Those small acts of kindness let people know that they matter and that you appreciate having them in your life.

In 2022, and previous years, we have seen the candles of so many outstanding individuals. People who were young, with families, and looked like they had most things going for them. However, deep inside, they were struggling. We have seen what high-functioning anxiety and depression look like in the life of Cheslie Kryst, an African American, former Miss USA lawyer, and celebrity correspondent who fell to her death in January 2022. More recently, Stephan "tWitch" Boss died on December 13, 2022, at 40. From the outside, he had it all-success and fame, a loving wife, and children. However, deep inside, he carried so much pain and made the challenging decision to end his life.

This holiday season might mark the first year the people in your circles have been apart from their loved ones, due to deaths in their families, broken relationships, or logistical challenges, due to living far apart. So for these people, the holidays might bring back challenging memories. The next time you check on your friends, and loved ones, look them right in their eyes and connect on a more personal level. This year, and moving forward, practice showing more kindness to yourself and others. When checking in with your loved ones, ensure their smiles reach their eyes. Normalize the range of emotions that we all as humans possess. It is ok to feel sad at times. However, more importantly, expressing these feelings and having healthy outlets to relieve the tension is important. 

Wishing you and your family a blessed holiday season and a happy New Year.