Holiday time replenishment or depletion?

Holiday time replenishment or depletion? How do the holidays leave you feeling?

Summer time is synonymous with holidays and holidays are synonymous with treats, reward and over indulgence. Perhaps a break from the norm and doing things for ourselves that we wouldn’t usually get a chance to do and giving ourselves space which I am wholeheartedly in favour of.  

All of this presents a very complicated and indeed conflicting set of circumstances for me as a coach supporting people to feel better, feel well, feel mentally and physically strong/resilient and in helping to understand how we re charge and re set our batteries. 

In fact post holiday blues are a very real thing. An article in Psyche Central says in a survey over 64% of people report feeling low mood and emotions associated with feelings of sadness that a holiday is over. Sleep may be affected, energy levels and even the ability to concentrate and going back to work and routine can be distressing. 

This is borne out by the increase I see in clients in September as the new school year starts and a new reality hits.

Why? 

Well just two of the reasons cited in this article highlight alcohol, and overeating which I am going to unpack a little more here. But as I mention below, people are also returning from holiday to a life that is unfulfilled and lacking the rest of the time.

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I have just returned from Cornwall where I had a fantastic couple of weeks immersed in the sea at least twice a day, reading non fiction which is a luxury I rarely afford myself, listening to more podcasts than I am usually able to and spending down time with my family.

I think many of the points above would resonate with many of you. Holiday time is a chance to do the things we don’t always get the space to do ( or as much as we would like to)  in our usually busy daily lives. But while doing so, I was acutely aware of much of the deeply detrimental holiday lifestyle around me. I have been a wellbeing and food coach for over 25 years and I am still saddened by seeing behaviours that don’t serve us.

If I was to ask you what outcomes do you want from your holiday would you be clear on how you wanted to feel afterwards and how it would set you up ( for most of us one holiday a year may be all we get) for the year ahead? Or how your holiday fitted into the ‘whole’ of your life? Would you know what your body and mind needed from this holiday and plan how to get it?

Would you also be mindful of some of the behaviours we entertain on holiday on a much more extreme scale that are harmful to our wellbeing and responsible for that drop off a cliff in mood that most people experience when they return from holidays?

I think there are three main things at play here.

Firstly in some of the professions I coach into there is such an emphasis on ‘waiting until the holiday’ and almost putting life on hold until it arrives, ( teaching and education for one) that this time of year sees us tip into very extreme behaviours. 

Sometimes over indulgence in range of ways including but not limited to alcohol and certainly including ‘food’ – which I have to put in inverted commas because what struck me over the last few weeks is that predominantly what I saw on offer whether on the motorway services or the most respected venues where it can be impossible to get a booking in places like Rock, Padstow and Polzeath, offerings consisted mainly of highly fried ( carcinogenic) nutrient replete meals. 

This isn’t ‘food’. 

And this is the second point. The lack of or entire dearth in most situations of anything on offer that presents nutrient dense, nurturing and replenishing sustenance. 

The definition of food from the Oxford language is ‘any nutritious substance that people or animals drink or that plants absorb in order to maintain life and growth’ 

I would argue that life is maintained almost in spite of what people are putting in themselves because from where I was this is what I saw as part and parcel of being on holiday;

·      Alcohol is a given. Everywhere and in every setting. Having worked in a space devoted to those trying to give it up for over 18 months and coached through the pandemic on this topic time and again one of the biggest obstacles for people is summer! They envision themselves with a glass in hand on the beach, sun going down and alcohol all at once becomes synonymous with holidays. How can I enjoy myself without alcohol is actually a big fear for people and the FOMO should you choose to abstain is very real. On top of which…everyone (nearly) is doing it and by this stage in our lives it has become an ingrained habit for many of us. Stopping an addictive, ingrained habit which is socially not only acceptable but encouraged, advertised and taken for granted is tough – more so when it is associated with celebration and reward and those that abstain will be labelled kill joys.

·      Sugar pushed everywhere.. Whether in the form of ice creams, fizzy drinks, desserts, sweets or cakes, these are in abundance. I observed a table in restaurant where the parents had seated the children separately so they could enjoy an adult table. The fizzy drinks arrived to the children’s table in as steady a flow as the alcohol arrived to the adults. Followed by ice creams/desserts and then sweets. If we talk about how hard it is to resist the alcohol and make different choices, we have to appreciate that while we may ‘drink’ 2 or 3 times a day on holiday, the opportunity to flood ourselves with sugar is absolutely constant. Quite apart from the fact that the white fatty empty carb foods everywhere converts to sugars in our body as well. This is constant damage. Picture a car parked at the edge of the sea flooded by sea water repeatedly. There is only so much it can withstand before it corrodes.

·      Fried foods. The biggest culprit by far has to be chips which seem to accompany almost every meal on so many of the menus I looked at. But also the fried fish, fried burgers and much more. Foods which started out as healthy certainly did not reach the plate that way. The process and the oils used turn this food carcinogenic. While we may be able to afford ourselves fried foods once every so often, every day or even a few times a week is deeply detrimental to our health and wellbeing. 

And the question which I ask time and time again, is ‘ At What Cost’. Because unfortunately there is massive a cost. Personally and on a national scale. Even an environmental scale. We are in the middle of a global epidemic of obesity, diabetes and other lifestyle diseases and a National Health Service in the UK creaking and breaking with the weight of our decisions. 

Because whatever you say, these are our decisions. And we do have to take responsibility for them. 

Everything is a matter of choice. 

While it is practically impossible to eat out and find real food ( believe me I know which is why I cook most evenings and pack up lunches when on holiday) we do know by now that the biggest cause of lifestyle disease is sugar. We do know that even one alcoholic drink a week is not a ‘safe level’ of consumption. We do know that fried foods with oil that used multiple times causes us damage. 

So why do we do this to ourselves…and our children?

I touch on this in my book ‘Eat Nourish Flourish’ in respect of why people don’t take action, or responsibility for their own health and wellbeing. What excuses we make to ourselves and others and how we justify some of our decisions. 

Certainly why we are so careful to protect our children from harm and fearful of anything bad happening to them on the one hand, but giving them harmful substances on the other. Because that is exactly what these ice creams, biscuits, cakes, fizzy drinks are! I cannot dress it up.

But surely they are ok as a ‘treat’? Is a sentence I hear over and over again.

So to the third point.

What is the definition of a treat?

The Cambridge dictionary says ‘ an event or an item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure’ or ‘to behave towards someone or deal with something in a particular way’. 

We are all pleasure seekers essentially. As humans we seek the quickest route always with the most pleasure with the least amount of pain. 

But the issue of seeking pleasure is that we are all living in the short term (not to be mistaken for the NOW which is a very different concept). Short termism sadly puts our long term wellbeing and longevity for that matter at risk. In fact, by falling into the pleasure trap of constantly seeking gratification we firstly become unhappy with what we have day to day

 (which resonates with the idea of having to go on holiday to find happiness) and we live our lives addicted to experiences and substances (foods and drinks in most cases) that sabotage our mental and physical health.

My favourite quote which clients of mine will know so well is ‘The biggest mistake that people make is to swap what they really really want, ……with what they want right now’.

So I am all for treats. And rewards too.

But surely a treat has to treat you well? Body and mind? Shouldn’t we ‘treat’ ourselves better than usual when on holiday? Shouldn’t we ringfence this time to really nurture, replenish and refresh? Shouldn’t we decide what we won’t stand for any more with our children greeted by the ice cream van everywhere so that it is the norm rather than the exception? 

On one occasion this holiday we queued for vegan milkshakes from an ice cream van. 

I have children too and believe me I understand how very difficult it is to say no and ensure they understand far from being unkind I say no because I love them too much. Two of them are now over 18 so can make their own choices but I still get to decide what I spend my money on – and how frequently if it’s something they are asking for. 

A child queued behind us and her mother asked her to leave the queue as they didn’t have time to wait as she needed to get to work. 

The child refused. 

In fact, she became more stubborn the more the mum pleaded with her to leave and impress upon her she was in a hurry. While we all tried to look away, the situation became more and more heated and uncomfortable, until the mother invited parenting advice and help from those of us around her, clearly on the verge of tears. A couple of us did offer up support at which point the girl lashed out, kicked her mother and walked out of the queue. Her mother burst into tears and we were all left feeling pretty awful as they all finally got in the car and headed away.

I have reflected on this however. The overriding entitlement and expectation that despite any sort of behaviour ice cream would be the reward was indeed shocking. ( More ironic for me as I don’t see it as a reward). So I by no means excuse the outrageous behaviour we saw on this occasion. But sometimes as parents, in fact predominantly, we are responsible for creating these expectations. We educate on what isn’t right, what isn’t good for us, how we should behave and try to instil our values. But we are also responsible for setting clear boundaries and being very consistent on what we do, say and allow. The mystery for me is why we just fail to do this where food and drink is concerned. When it is the biggest single indicator of how well we will be in later life.

So finally what is the antidote? 

I am the first to admit that until what is on offer to us changes it remains difficult for us to make healthier choices and step away from crowd behaviours which are harmful to us. 

But the truth is we are in control. In the context of the last few years when so much has been out of control….this absolutely is!!

Of every mouthful we let past the gateway of our teeth for us and our children. It can either nourish nurture and replenish or it can present our bodies and minds with a challenge for our bodily systems. Eventually causing damage. 

So let’s start looking at the outcomes. Not only in the short term but longer. What do we really want and why? How do we get there and what needs to change?

There is so much about holidays that is truly reward and nourishment. In the context of the bigger picture, it is also about creating a life from which holidays are wonderful but after which we are pleased to return to how we live on a day to day basis. For me I am always happy to get back to my well stocked kitchen, a full range of utensils and ovens that I can rely on!

And of course the work I do with my clients. My passion, my purpose and my dharma. To help you create lives that holidays complement. Where you feel empowered to make decisions that suit you, nourished, supported and whole and that you don’t need a break from ….just something added in now and then. Rather than this spike in harmful behaviours that take us temporarily high then much like the waves on the beach we just left behind, crash us painfully down on the rocks.