Hope deferred makes the heart sick

                                                            Chapter 1

Hope had been planning for this journey for a very long time. The only roadblock standing between her and the dream of her life was lack of courage. Every time she decided to make a move towards the fulfillment of her purpose, destructive thoughts and derailing words came flooding her mind like a swarm of bees.

It messed her up well and good every time. Even if she wanted to cry, she couldn’t. She felt so lonely empty with nowhere to hide or to rest her heavy broken heart. Threatening to shatter any moment now.

It had been going on for so long that she finally believed that this was her destiny. This was who she was. Empty dry and barren.

But this day was different. The minute she woke up she knew that something big and something else out of the ordinary was going to occur. As she looked out of the window from her cookie-cutter cottage, the sun caressed her beautiful freckled face from a blue sky and the air was refreshing like a spring day after the rain. Her kinky dark brown hair slightly moving in the breeze.

Hope packed all her stuff in 4 suitcases and drove off. As she looked back at the cottage that had been her home for a decade, tears appeared at the corner of her eye. Hope had never been good at saying her goodbyes. She constantly had to push away all the usual negative nagging thoughts, familiar voices from her past. Soothing Jazz music oozing out from the radio helped her regain peace of mind momentarily.

As she arrived at the busy train station people mistook her for being working at the baggage office. Hope a tomboy to the core of her being, loved wearing overalls. She remembered how her father punished her for not being a girly girl enough to his liking.

No matter how hard she tried, pleasing him never seemed to work on his ever-changing mood. Always angry, resentful, critical, on the fence and seemingly always fighting a battle against the whole world. Hope had her fist all tight up while hosting these bide size memories from a dysfunctional upbringing.

As she was standing frozen to the floor like a pillar people placed their luggage all around her. Hope who accidentally stood right beside the luggage vehicle appeared to be a part of the settings. When she tried to move away from the heavy load, she twisted her ankle and almost fell to the ground.

Grace, a brave woman standing right close to Hope, grab her arm, and supported her with a firm grip. A sigh of relief escaped her lips, and Hope whispered thank you to her rescuer. For some reason, Hope felt slightly embarrassed and awkward while harboring dreadful ideas about what people might think of her. 

Grace who instantly and intuitively understood Hopes' predicament with all the heavy stuff weighing her down, made a pathway out into open space.