How to Ask for Help at Work Without Looking Weak

While you may think that asking for help at work makes you look weak, it is actually the contrary. Individuals that experience high stress at work and suffer through it alone are truly doing themselves a disservice. The most efficient way to deal with work-related stress is to ask for help from your coworkers. Although you may believe that commiserating with your coworkers is the same as asking for help at work, they are two distinctively different scenarios. Instead, attempt to be direct in asking for help and try to deliberately form a more constructive outcome. 

Determine Who To Ask For Help At Work

To optimize asking for help, you first need to determine who you should reach out to within your workplace. Ask yourself these three questions to discern who would be the best person to help you succeed at work:

1. Who has expertise in the area in which I need to improve?
2. Who have I helped in the past?
3. Who can I trust?

Let’s delve deeper into these questions. In the idyllic workplace of your dreams, your boss would ideally be front and center on this list of people. However, many workplaces are imperfect in the real world, as are the leaders that lead us. While it may sound counterintuitive, sometimes it's beneficial to search for expertise outside of a coworkers' professional role. If you look outside the box (or outside of work titles), you may be pleasantly surprised to discover who holds the key to the knowledge you are seeking. Making and cultivating strong relationships and allies with workplace colleagues creates mutually beneficial relationships that you can continually depend on. It is always easier to ask for help when you are going to a friend or someone you have a warm relationship with, rather than someone you never speak to or acknowledge. 

An example for me of such a situation can be gleaned from a conversation with Cynthia Delfino, President/CEO, YMCA Central & Northern Westchester on Hey, Boss Lady!  She thought very outside the box when asking for help to transform her organization and community.  

Next, knowing whom to trust at work can be a considerable challenge, especially if you have not created those strong workplace relationships previously mentioned. One of the most significant barriers to asking for help from your boss or other coworkers is your reluctance to expose your vulnerability, fear of being judged, and fear of rejection. All of those feelings are valid, and often don’t feel very good. Further, these sticky feelings can only add to the pressure you are already experiencing. However, if you can push past your comfort zone into your vulnerability, you will see positive results tenfold. Don’t let your fears hold you back from the success you deserve. Let the cliche, “you can make excuses or achieve your goals, but you cannot do both,” guide you. Consider what will happen if you don’t ask for help; the outcome could be far worse. 

Sample Questions to Use When Asking For Help At Work

Here is how to ask for help at work in the most directive and beneficial ways possible:

-       “I need your help. I have tried these solutions (xyz) and have not been successful. Do you have a suggested course of action?”

-       I need your expertise. I know you have faced a situation like this before. Will you please share with me what worked for you?”

-       “I have some ideas I want to bounce off of you. Perhaps we can brainstorm together to help further my understanding. Can you help me?” 

Asking For Help Holds Benefits 

Typically, people will be flattered that you came to them to seek their expertise and professional opinion. In fact, studies have found that asking for help at work makes you appear more competent, not less. Asking for help when you are stressed molds the foundation for positive relationship building. By showing your vulnerability, you build trust, which enhances your relationships and creates an opportunity for you to grow within yourself and with another person. It’s a true win-win scenario. 

Rather than investing twice the energy in half the result by enduring your stress alone, strategically choose to reduce the negative impact stress has on your performance and wellbeing. Be brave enough to ask for help thoughtfully, directly, and strategically from those you trust. Simply asking for help at work can potentially lower your stress levels, improve your work quality, avoid burnout, and it may just catapult your career through the small act of building relationships! Remember to always show appreciation when someone graciously helps you to ensure they will be willing to help you again in the future. Try to return the favor when you can too! Best of luck! 

#HowToAskForHelpAtWork #AskingForHelpEmpowers #DrSuccessTips #YMCA

To learn more about my services and how I can help you gain the tools you need to succeed, please contact me directly here. Join me and Kristi Atwater on the Hey, Boss Lady! Podcast.  You can also follow me and join live events on social media on my Facebook, the Hey, Boss Lady! Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter, orYouTube.