How to Cut off a Complainer

“They did it again. Do you believe that?”

Here comes Oliva.

“The cleaning staff came thirty minutes early. They like to clean while people are still in the office.”

“What about those tiles in the lobby?” I asked

“Well, we were the ones who damaged them, but they volunteered to fix it for free.”

“That’s great news!”

She shrugged it off.

It’s always the same with Oliva. She loves to complain. If that were where she stopped, it would be frustrating enough. The problem is that she likes to destroy, too.

“We should get rid of this company and replace them with another.”

“It took us two months to find a new company after you convinced us to eliminate the last team. For those nine weeks, our offices looked and smelt like a jungle.”

“I am calling a meeting.”

“Oliva, we have to get 75% of the other tenants to agree to this – again. Besides, this team is good. The building is always clean.”

“I am not having any of it. We have to do something.” 

I was waiting for the boss to tell Olivia to go home, have a cup of coffee, and either learn heavy breathing exercises or start sending out resumes.  

A Leader’s Instinct

On instinct, she did something revolutionary. When Oliva alerted the VP about her latest crusade, She agreed.

“If you feel strongly about this, let’s start looking for another company. You said you have a few friends who run cleaning services. Let’s visit three of them. We will talk. We will get their prices. We will tell them everything that needs to be done. You can tell them everything you don’t like about the past two companies and what they need to do better. Once we have spoken with all three, we can meet to decide which we want. Then, we can start lobbying the tenants because we need 75% to sign on again. Once that’s done, we can tell the guys they are done and hire the next team. Okay?”

Oliva’s face sank.

The boss continues,

“Great. Once you get me the phone numbers of three companies who will do the same work for less money, after all, what tenant will switch unless they get something out of it, we can get started.”

It’s been three months, and Olivia never again broached the subject.

Chana was a manager for an education company for five years. She dealt with all kinds. She told me that some people love to complain. They cannot stand to watch something work. They have to kick and scream. But that’s their weakness. For the most part, all they do is kick and scream.

They never do the work and complain about it once it’s done.

That’s their underbelly: they never actually do anything.

The knee-jerk reaction is to scream back at them. That’s like punching a prizefighter. He wants you to hit him. He’s waiting for you to throw your arms and your body into him so he can land a few blows of his own. The moment you raise your voice or disagree, even show any semi-enthusiastic emotion, all you did was take the bait.

The right move is to agree with them. Get even more excited about their gripes. Encourage them a little.

They don’t see it coming. Once they hit the crescendo of their criticism, you make your move:

Ask them to do something about it.

Show your support by presenting a laundry list of everything that can be done to turn their accusations into action. Make it long. Make it challenging.

Keep rooting for them by saying something along the lines of . . . since you are the one to bring it to my attention, I want you to be in charge. You should be the one to …  then mention the first task on the list.

1.      Maintain their enthusiasm. They don’t get their fix of bringing anyone down.

2.      Reward them with compliments and responsibility so they can’t complain to you.

3.      Anytime they complain about this issue again, whether to me or anyone else here, I can ask them about their progress on the solution I tasked them with. Now, anyone else frustrated with their whining can take them to task with the solutions I asked them to pursue.

It’s an effective way to get them back to ranting about the weather.

David Ben Horin lives in Afula with his family, millions of sunflowers, and Matilda, our local camel. David’s Israeli startup, Center Stage Marketing, creates and promotes SEO-optimized ROI-driven content to build you the right audience and make your business the star of the show.