How Dancing with Your Dog Makes You a Better Moderator

Bonnie Dibling

CEO & Lead Healthcare Researcher

I’m the first to admit that I can’t carry a tune. And my dancing skills…well, let’s just say Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes and her infamous dance-floor contortions come to mind. While my husband and son may tease me for my lack of coordination, there’s someone in my household who accepts me completely for who I am — off-key voice, off-rhythm boogying and all.

Case in point: my son and I were making dinner the other night in the kitchen, with some tunes playing the background. Before I even realized it, we were dancing and singing along with the song — as the saying goes — like no one was watching. But we did have an audience: our 13-year-old dog, Leah. Not satisfied to merely observe, Leah joined in, barking and tail-wagging and jumping around like a puppy — and looking at us with an expression that said, “I have no clue what you’re doing or why you’re doing it, but I’m in, let’s go!”

Cute story, right? But more than making my day, this kitchen doggie dance party reminded me of a concept I’d learned about long ago: unconditional positive regard. Then I got to thinking about how this term applies to what we do as qualitative researchers.

Recognizing Respondents’ Humanity

A strategy employed by therapists and counselors — and, ideally, moderators — unconditional positive regard embraces an attitude of complete acceptance, support, and love. When we view someone through the lens of unconditional positive regard, we recognize that individual’s humanity and inherent worth. While you may not accept every action (or in the case of a moderator, every opinion) that individual engages in, you accept who that person is at their core. It’s not so much about liking the person, but more about respecting them and operating on the assumption that this individual is simply doing the best they can.

That night in the kitchen, when my dog joyfully jumped in as backup dancer, struck me as a perfect example of unconditional positive regard. There was no judgement in her eyes, just a total willingness to go along for the ride. That’s all fine and well for dogs who love us no matter what. But why should qual research moderators practice unconditional positive regard in their interactions with respondents during interviews and focus groups? Several reasons.

• Displaying an attitude of acceptance encourages respondents to openly express their thoughts, feelings, reactions, and opinions without fear of being judged, challenged, mocked, or belittled.
• Respondents who feel respected and accepted are more willing and likely to be honest with what they share and not hold anything back.
• They’re also less likely to be offended by perceived negative reactions or judgement from the moderator, establishing a bond of trust. When it’s clear you accept the respondent for who they are, they’re more inclined to like you as a person and not just as a moderator.
• Respondents who feel that their opinions and input are respected, valued, and honored are more likely to be active, constructive participants in the focus group or interview. They’ll be more engaged in the process, more invested in making sure the focus group or interview is fruitful, and more interested in the brand, product or service they’re being asked about.

Acceptance in Action

All of which leads to a deeper, richer layer of insight that gets to critical core truths. Here’s an example from my own experience interviewing respondents who live with type II diabetes. I asked one respondent whether she had made any changes to her diet since receiving her diagnosis. She proceeded to tell me that she had stopped drinking soda. I couldn’t help but notice the can of Orange Crush sitting on the table by her elbow.

My immediate instinct was to point out that the product she was drinking was pretty clearly soda with an insanely high sugar content. But I checked myself, stifled my urge to judge and challenge her, and approached the situation with an attitude of acceptance, respect, and care. In other words, unconditional positive regard. In asking a few gentle, non-judgmental follow-up questions, I found out that she considered Orange Crush to be juice, and not soda. So in her mind, she was engaging in healthy behavior rather than lying to me or being in denial.

This discovery turned out to be a key learning moment about how this respondent interpreted nutritional information, revealing an opportunity for the client (a pharma company) to do more work around patient education. If I had immediately challenged or judged her for drinking Orange Crush, chances are she would have shut down and this learning never would have revealed itself.

Practice Makes Unconditional Positive Regard

The great thing is, it doesn’t take much to put unconditional positive regard into practice as a qual moderator. Following a few simple guidelines will go a long way toward showing your respondents that you accept them, respect them, and value them for who they are without judgement, scorn, or utter bewilderment (which, let’s face it, we’ve all felt at some point while moderating).

• Remember it’s not about you, but about them. You’re not here to share your own opinions, experiences, and feedback — unless it’s in the service to make your respondents feel more comfortable, connected, and understood. You’re here to learn what they think, feel, fear, want, and need.
• Check your biases. Before you walk through the door or let the first respondent into your video call, let go of your preconceived notions, assumptions, and ego. Come to the interview or focus group with an open mind and an open heart.
• It’s not an interrogation. I’ve sat in on many interviews and focus groups where the only thing missing was the light shining into the respondent’s face and the good cop/bad cop shtick. Rather than putting the respondent in the hot seat, simply have a conversation with them. And make it clear you’re enjoying and are engaged in this conversation.
• Be self-aware. You’re only human, so have some unconditional positive regard for yourself as well. If you feel biases or judgement creeping in, or if you find yourself annoyed or confused or amused by someone’s response, acknowledge your response then let it go.
• Watch your body language and facial expressions as well as your words. When you appear relaxed, engaged, open, and attentive, your respondents will pick up on those cues and feel more comfortable and relaxed in turn.
• Assume that the people you’re talking to are here for the right reasons — to be helpful, to share information, to open up about their personal experiences (which can’t always be easy) — and are doing the best they can. They’ve made the time to show up and participate, and that alone deserves our respect and gratitude.

In a focus group setting, it’s also important for moderators to create a space that encourages unconditional positive regard among the participants for each other. You can set the example in the room with how you comport yourself and treat all participants. Your focus groups and interviews will be more enjoyable, productive, and insightful for all — including you.

And if you’re looking for more pointers on how to practice unconditional positive regard, observe the dog nearest you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and any additional tips you’d share for cultivating an open, honest, respectful moderating environment. Feel free to reach out to me directly at bonnie.dibling@thinkpiece.com.