How dare you, she said.

"How dare you!" she hissed into the phone.

I pulled the phone away from my ear. I could hear the fury and feel the heat. She was truly angry.

When the phone rang and I saw who it was, I didn't anticipate being screamed at so shrilly.

"What did I do?" I asked, in all innocence. I truly had no idea.

This was the leader of a woman's group I belonged to. We were small, only about 8 - 10 of us were ever in attendance at the same time. There was a realtor, a life coach, a VA, a mortgage broker, and others. Our fearless leader was a business coach. This was her group. She had several throughout the city and was trying to grow them all bigger. Ours was the smallest group she had.

"How dare you bring that woman to the meeting," she said to me.

"You mean Sherry?" I asked. [names have been changed to protect the innocent!]

"Yes, her," the voice coming at me through the phone was still angry, just below raging, but I could feel the tightness in her throat, see the way her chest rose and fell with each breath.

"Why?" I asked.

"You should know why," she declared. "I'm a business coach. This is my group. You brought another business coach to the meeting. That's unacceptable. I don't want my competition sitting at the table with me."

I sat there blinking in dismay. "Oh," I said. "But she's not the same KIND of business coach you are. You're focused on coaching women entrepreneurs, she's focused on businesses that are stuck in place. I don't think she's your competition."

And, I thought, even if she is your competition, so what?

That's the jist of it. So what? I was taught to live in abundance. There is room for all of us. I love meeting and talking to other book coaches. I love editors and proofreaders and people who produce books. People who do exactly what I do, but not exactly how I do it.

I had invited Sherry to that meeting to bring in a new voice. Someone who might like us and want to join. To grow with us. Or, who might know others who would be interested. Being a small group, we were all very intimate and supportive of each other. We enjoyed the camaraderie every week, and often met for coffee at a local diner to support each other, during the week.

When Sherry rose to give her elevator speech, it didn't sound anything like our fearless leader's speech. Because they didn't do exactly the same thing. In my mind, it was good to bring in another voice, another woman's voice, to talk about business coaching. To give people some options. To show that each of us, in our own way, are worth working with, regardless of how closely our work is to the person's work next to us.

"You purposely tried to sabotage me," the voice in my ear insisted.

"No, not really," I said. I remember remaining calm because there was no other way to be. Shouting back wouldn't accomplish anything. I had not done anything wrong and if she wanted to cover herself in a cloak of denial, that was fine. I was not going to do so.

"I can't have people coming to the group who are coaches like me," she said, a bit less angry now. "I don't know why you don't understand that. Don't ever do it again."

"Oh, I won't," I said.

And, shortly after that call, I dropped out of the group. Much to her delight, no doubt.

The world is a small place. But there are thousands, millions, of people who need coaching in one form or another. People looking for that helping hand. That experienced advice. That coach who gets them and can help them achieve their goals and dreams. Thinking you can't compete - that if you ignore your competition - certainly if you don't break bread with them - will help you, is foolish.

Embrace the competition around you. There may be a chance to collaborate. Or become friends and cheer each other on. The possibilities are endless.

Be human. Know that you are here to do what you do and someone else may have the same label or title, but they aren't you, they don't really do what you do. They do what they do. Open you heart to them and learn more about their work. So you can refer people to them. And, in return, they will do the same for you.

I promise.