How to Embrace the Power of Emotions

Last week, I took another step towards my Co-Active Training Institute coaching certificate. This stage was bumpier, more complex, and certainly more emotional than the previous ones. Why? Because we delved into the realm of... emotions.

Cracking Eggs

Throughout my coaching journey, I've learned that we can't separate the professional from the personal. We don’t just coach the problem; we coach the whole person, no matter where their challenges arise, no matter where the person is stuck. Approaching emotions in coaching can feel like walking on eggshells, and yes, sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to move forward.

Yes, we need to break things and make noise.

There is more than that of course. When we explore emotions, it’s not just about walking on eggs; it’s about breaking them open. This messy, uncomfortable process is a crucial part of emotional exploration and growth. It discloses meaning. 

Yes, we need to get our hands dirty.

Here are three reasons why emotions deserve our attention:

1. They’re contagious: Emotions don't just stay within us—they spread to those around us. We are not insulated from the outer world, nor the other way around. People respond to our emotions, even when we don’t think we are expressing them.
2. They influence communication: emotions shape how we convey and interpret messages. Misinterpretations often occur: some meaning is added, some is subtracted, some is reinterpreted.
3. They drive action: emotions inform our worldview and motivate our behaviors. They help us make sense of the world and the place that is ours.

The Texture of Emotions

A key lesson I've learned is that asking powerful questions is essential when discussing emotions. These questions don’t have to be complex—they can be simple yet profound. My coaching journey has also underscored the importance of accurately naming emotions. But naming emotions can be tricky: does the word you choose truly capture what you're feeling? Or do nuances get lost in translation? Are emotions universal?

We often try to define our emotions, but sometimes, describing them is more effective. Consider these questions:

• Does an emotion have a color?
• Does it have a sound?
• A taste?
• A texture?
• A shape?

These questions don’t come without reflection. Sometimes, they can result in sorrow and pain. Eventually, they always end up in relief, self-awareness, and clarity.

As David Bradford and Carol Robin wrote in their book 'Connect'

The more you know your emotions, the less likely you are to be controlled by them."

Taking the time to explore and describe emotions is a major and powerful step toward understanding and confronting them. 

Three Techniques for Raising Emotional Awareness

Psychologist David Goleman has stressed the role played by self-awareness: understaning our emotions allow us to regulate them and control our responses. This has an impact on the decisions we make and the way we handle stress.

Here are three of my favorite techniques to face emotions:

1. Journaling about emotions: five minutes a day journaling can be enough. It's like taking a breath—a pause to process your emotions.
2. Sharing emotions: Talking about emotions with someone opens up new horizons. Emotions are fluid and malleable; the more we share, the more we reshape and reframe them. The more they change, the more we change. 
3. Embracing emotions: accepting that emotions are part of life, especially in the professional sphere. Avoiding them might offer temporary relief, but it won’t create lasting value for us or our colleagues.

What techniques do you use to confront your emotions? How do you deal with emotions in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts—let’s start a conversation.

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My name is Matteo. As all of you, I contain multitudes.

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Matteo