How Far Have You Advanced in Networking? Find Out Now

Networking can be daunting, especially when faced with unfamiliar faces at a conference or professional event. There is no universal guide that works in every situation, and if someone tells you otherwise, it’s wise to remain skeptical. However, by observing skilled networkers, you can learn valuable strategies that make networking appear effortless. These individuals seem to know exactly what to say and how to say it, ensuring their message lands perfectly. The secret to their success often lies in understanding behavioral psychology and possessing a bit of emotional intelligence. By applying these principles, you can analyze and refine your approach in any situation. Here’s a breakdown of the levels that determine how effective you are as a networker:

Level 1: The Novice

Imagine attending a conference for the first time. You’re surrounded by people you don’t know, and the room is filled with small groups already engaged in conversation. You spot several empty tables and a couple with just one person standing alone. Here’s a question: Which table would you choose, and why is the empty one often the most tempting option?

Choosing the empty table might seem like the safest bet—it’s less intimidating, and there’s no pressure to join an ongoing conversation. However, this approach might also lead to missed opportunities. The goal of networking is to build connections, and sitting alone at an empty table does little to achieve that. If you’re just starting in your networking journey, it’s understandable to feel drawn to a safer choice. But to grow your networking skills, you’ll need to push past that initial comfort zone.

Level 2: The Initiate

If you’ve progressed to level two, you see this scenario as a challenge rather than something to avoid. You recognize that you’re here to meet new people, so why not approach the table with the person who looks approachable? You start with a simple introduction: “Can I join you here?” As you observe their name tag, you might realize they could be a potential client or a valuable contact in your industry. You follow up with, “I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Harvey Specter, and I’m with Specter & Litt law firm.” Congratulations—you’ve moved to level three.

At this level, you’re beginning to understand that networking is about more than just exchanging business cards. It’s about making a connection and leaving a positive impression. By taking the initiative to approach someone, you’ve already set yourself apart from those who prefer to stay on the sidelines. But remember, this is just the beginning. To truly excel at networking, you need to master the art of conversation.

Level 3: The Conversationalist

At level three, you understand that maintaining a conversation isn’t solely the other person’s responsibility. You know that asking a simple, targeted question is a great way to keep the dialogue flowing. The first encounter with a stranger often triggers an ancient part of our brain, designed to assess whether the unknown person poses a threat. This reaction can make networking challenging. To overcome this, start with an easy question to help put the other person at ease. For example, “Is this your first time at this conference?” This question is straightforward, and they will likely have an answer ready.

Once they respond, have another question ready to keep the conversation going. This not only shows that you’re engaged but also that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. You might follow up with, “Which talk or topic are you most interested in?” However, if you aspire to be a level four networker, there’s a different approach.

At this stage, you’re also becoming more attuned to the dynamics of the conversation. You’re learning to read the other person’s body language and tone of voice, adjusting your approach accordingly. This level of awareness is crucial because it allows you to tailor your conversation to suit the other person’s comfort level, making them more likely to remember you positively.

Level 4: The Master Networker

A level four networker knows that the key to a successful conversation is maintaining its flow, much like the steady current of a river. Anything that disrupts this flow—such as an unexpected or random question—can derail the conversation. If the response to your initial question, “Is this your first time at this conference?” is, “No, I’ve been here many times,” a skilled networker might follow up with, “Is it always this busy? I wasn’t expecting that.” This type of question encourages the other person to elaborate beyond a simple yes or no, allowing the conversation to develop naturally.

It’s also essential to keep your questions neutral and avoid expressing strong opinions too early. This way, you can adapt your response based on their attitude toward the busy environment, whether they find it energizing or overwhelming. By carefully listening and responding in a way that aligns with their feelings, you create a sense of rapport that can lead to more meaningful connections.

At this level, you’re not just participating in a conversation—you’re guiding it. You’re steering the discussion in a way that makes the other person feel comfortable and valued. This requires a deep understanding of social dynamics and the ability to think on your feet. The more you practice, the more natural this will become.

Level 5: The Connector

While not explicitly mentioned earlier, it’s worth noting that there’s a level beyond mastering conversations. This is the level of the Connector. A Connector doesn’t just engage in conversations; they actively work to bring people together. They recognize potential synergies between individuals and are quick to make introductions that benefit both parties.

Connectors are highly valued in any professional setting because they create networks within networks. They are the glue that holds different groups together, and their ability to connect others often leads to opportunities for themselves. To reach this level, you need to go beyond thinking about what you can get out of a networking event and start thinking about what you can give.

Roman Zakovsky is an executive coach and trainer whose clients include A&O Shearman man, Baker McKenzie , BBH, advokátní kancelář, PRK Partners, attorneys at law, HAVEL & PARTNERS, SOTIO Biotech and Deloitte. He is an expert on client communication, relationship building, and business development.