How to Get Much More from Your One-on-One Meetings

By Evan Hackel 

One-on-one meetings, also called check-ins, are one of the hottest new tools managers are using to help keep their team members engaged, on-task, and productive. Their benefits have been praised in articles in Entrepreneur, Forbes, and on the ATIIM blog, which reports that one-on-ones are the #1 business practice of all time. 

What Are One-on-One Meetings? 

They are a best practice in which a manager meets individually with the people he or she supervises. They are best used by a manager who supervises people who also have well-developed skill sets and managerial responsibilities. For example, they are generally not used to manage line employees who work on auto production lines. Even though employees at that level benefit from enlightened management and supervision, one-on-ones generally address higher level business activities such as planning, project management and supervising others.  

What Do One-on-One Meetings Replace? 

As a manager, chances are that you have group meetings with everyone who reports to you. You also conduct annual reviews. One-on-ones augment those worthwhile routines rather than replacing them. The overall purpose is to improve the communication between you and the people you supervise.  

How Often Should You Hold One-on-One Meetings with the People You Supervise? 

Although some expert authors recommend holding them routinely weekly or semi-weekly, my view is that the timing depends on how much help your supervisee needs. Overall, the timing and scheduling should be dictated by some of the factors that I will write about next.  

What Can Go Wrong in One-on-One Meetings? 

I don’t want to focus on negatives, but in my experience, one-on-one meetings can become punitive. That can happen when a manager says, “Let’s look at your to-do list” and then pursues every item on it by making statements like, “Why isn’t this item done?” or, “What’s the problem?” or, “Do you want to try to get this done in the next week?”  

More often than not, that manager will conclude the meeting by saying, “Let’s add a few more items to your list.” The problem is that the associate can become motivated to only get stuff done and cross it off the list instead of doing it well or in a thoughtful way. They will sometimes even do things wrong, just to be able to check the right box before the next meeting. 

Better Practices for One-on-Ones 

I am a believer in them! But let me share some practices that I have used to prevent them from resulting in the problems that I described above: 

• I start by asking, “How are things going?” This establishes the tone for a discussion, not an interrogation. 
• My second question is often, “Are there any things you would like to discuss?”  
• My third question can be, “Is there anything I can help you with?” The goal should be to try to help instead of issuing orders.  
• I strive to keep the tone positive, by considering my words before I speak. In this way, I can replace a negative question like, “Why did you forget about that report?” with a positive one like, “Where are you with that report?”  
• I invite associates to draft and bring in their own to-do lists that will serve as the foundation for the discussion. They usually have reasons for how they prioritize their processes and work that are more sound, and more reality-based, than mine. These lists should allow them the leeway to set their own timelines for when work will be completed.  But do note that as a manager, you can open up schedules and timing as topics to discuss. 
• If I feel that an important task is missing from the employee’s to-do list, I will ask, “What other things do you think you need to prioritize and focus on?” By allowing the employee to add items to his or her own timeline and set priorities, I can often engage the employee to take ownership and make decisions.  
• I strive to make suggestions instead of issuing orders. I might say, for example, “Here are four (or five) ideas that I would like to suggest regarding this project. I’m only suggesting . . . you can use them or not use them, I trust you to make a good decision.” 
• I allow the team member the authority to maintain and update his or her own to-do-list – and we use it to document the meeting and expectations for future sessions. That level of ownership is motivational and helps prevent the common mindset of, “My boss is giving me stuff to do and I have to do it.” 
• I often close with the question, “Are there other items or activities that you think belong on your list too?” This allows me to collaboratively direct and assign work without demanding it.  

A Story from My Own Working Past 

Early in my career, I had a job in which I reported to two different supervisors. One was a man who would ask one or two questions and then say, “Evan, this is what you are going to do next.” 

The other supervisor employed a number of the more positive management approaches that I write about in this article. He offered help instead of issuing directives. He asked open-ended questions about what was going on instead of accusing me of leaving tasks undone. Perhaps most important of all, he allowed me the autonomy to exert a lot of control over my own priorities.  

Which supervisor did I prefer to work for? For which of them did I produce better results? Which of them do I still regard as a positive example and mentor? 

You know the answer to those questions. It explains a lot about how I have developed my approach to one-on-one meetings. It explains my strong belief in them too.  

About Evan Hackel 

 Evan Hackel, the creator of the concept of Ingaged Leadership, is a recognized business and franchise expert and consultant. Evan is also a professional speaker and author.  

Evan is Principal and Founder of Ingage Consulting, a consulting firm headquartered in Woburn, Massachusetts. A leader in the field of training as well, Evan serves as CEO of Tortal Training, a Charlotte North Carolina-based firm that specializes in developing and implementing interactive training solutions for companies in all sectors. Evan is also a participating C-Suite Network Advisor. To learn more about Inage Consulting and Evan’s book Ingaging Leadership, visit Ingage.net