How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Ascend to Your Personal and Professional Potential
John Keane
Performance Mindset Coach & Trainer @ Systems Coaching Academy Limited | ICF - Professional Certified Coach I empower leaders and teams to ascend to their highest personal and professional potential.
Achieving personal and professional success often feels like an uphill battle, and one of the most common obstacles we face isn’t external—it’s internal. The tendency to self-sabotage, hold ourselves back, or allow self-doubt to cloud our path is something many of us struggle with, whether we realize it or not. But the good news is, once we identify the root cause of this behavior and work towards removing those internal barriers, we unlock a world of potential and opportunity.
In this blog, we’ll dive deep into:
By the end, you’ll have actionable tools to not only recognize self-sabotage but also to get out of your own way and truly thrive.
Why We Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a universal experience, though it shows up differently for everyone. For some, it manifests as procrastination; for others, it’s the fear of success, imposter syndrome, or even self-doubt that leads to inaction. But why do we do this to ourselves, especially when we know that success lies just beyond our comfort zone?
Fear of Change The human brain craves stability and familiarity. Change, even positive change, can feel threatening to that sense of equilibrium. Often, we self-sabotage when we sense that change is coming because our subconscious mind interprets it as a risk.
Fear of Failure and Success Ironically, many of us fear both failure and success. We’re afraid of failing because of the embarrassment, shame, or judgment it might bring. But at the same time, success comes with its own set of challenges—higher expectations, more responsibility, and potentially stepping into a new identity. In both cases, self-sabotage becomes a defense mechanism that keeps us in our comfort zone.
Limiting Beliefs Our beliefs shape our reality, and if you believe that you’re not worthy of success, that you’re not “good enough,” or that you don’t deserve to thrive, your actions will align with those beliefs. These limiting beliefs often come from childhood experiences, societal expectations, or past failures. They sit in our subconscious and dictate much of our behavior, leading to self-sabotaging patterns.
A Deeper-Rooted Issue: The Psychology Behind Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage is more than just surface-level behavior; it’s a deeper-rooted issue that stems from unresolved emotional pain, trauma, or deeply ingrained beliefs. When we consistently hold ourselves back, it often reflects internal conflicts that we haven’t yet addressed.
The Role of Trauma For many, past trauma—whether in the form of childhood neglect, emotional abuse, or other life events—creates emotional wounds that go unhealed. These wounds become the foundation for limiting beliefs and self-sabotage. If you grew up feeling unsupported, for example, you might unconsciously hold the belief that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never succeed. This belief, rooted in past trauma, can lead to self-sabotage in the form of quitting before you truly start.
The Comfort Zone Trap Your comfort zone might feel like a place of safety, but it’s also where growth stagnates. We self-sabotage to stay within that zone, avoiding the discomfort of unfamiliar territory. Yet, nothing great was ever achieved in the comfort zone. The key to growth lies in facing that discomfort head-on and recognizing it as a sign that you’re moving in the right direction.
Removing Self-Imposed Limits: What Happens When You Get Out of Your Own Way
When we remove the limits we place on ourselves, the possibilities become endless. What often feels like an insurmountable barrier is, in reality, just a false perception—one that can be dismantled with self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the right mindset.
The Power of Self-Belief Imagine the freedom of truly believing in your ability to succeed. When you stop doubting yourself and remove the negative self-talk, you become unstoppable. Self-belief propels you forward, making it easier to take risks, embrace challenges, and bounce back from failures.
New Opportunities Open Up When you’re no longer held back by fear, limiting beliefs, or self-doubt, you start seeing opportunities everywhere. The limitations you’ve placed on yourself fall away, revealing new paths for both personal and professional growth.
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Why Self-Awareness is Crucial
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of overcoming self-sabotage. Without it, we’re often blind to the habits, thoughts, and patterns that hold us back. Cultivating self-awareness helps you understand why you do what you do, and more importantly, how to change those patterns.
Recognizing Your Triggers Self-awareness begins with recognizing your emotional triggers—the situations, people, or environments that lead you to sabotage yourself. Do you notice that you start procrastinating when you feel overwhelmed? Do you tend to self-sabotage when success feels imminent? Identifying these triggers is the first step to stopping self-sabotage in its tracks.
The Role of Emotional Regulation Emotional regulation is equally important in this journey. It’s not just about recognizing your emotions but learning how to manage them effectively. When you feel the urge to self-sabotage, it’s often an emotional reaction to stress, fear, or overwhelm. By practicing emotional regulation techniques such as mindfulness, breathing exercises, or journaling, you can manage these emotions more effectively and prevent them from derailing your progress.
Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage
Now that we understand why we self-sabotage and how important self-awareness is, let’s look at practical steps to overcome it.
1. Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs The first step is to challenge the negative beliefs that fuel your self-sabotaging behavior. For instance, if you believe that you're not good enough, ask yourself: “What evidence do I have that supports this belief? Is this belief true, or is it based on fear?” Shifting your beliefs is crucial to breaking the self-sabotage cycle.
2. Set Clear, Intentional Goals When your goals are unclear or too broad, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, set specific, actionable, and realistic goals. Break them down into smaller steps, and focus on one step at a time. This reduces the chances of feeling overwhelmed and makes it easier to track your progress.
3. Build a Support System No one can succeed in isolation. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and hold you accountable. Whether it’s a mentor, coach, or supportive friends, having a strong support system can keep you on track when self-sabotaging thoughts creep in.
For more on this, explore our previous blog on Understanding Stress In High Pressure Envrionments.
4. Practice Self-Compassion It’s important to treat yourself with kindness when things don’t go as planned. Self-sabotage often stems from a harsh inner critic, so counteract that by practicing self-compassion. If you slip up, don’t dwell on it. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, and move on.
5. Cultivate a Growth Mindset The way you perceive challenges determines how you respond to them. With a growth mindset, setbacks are seen as learning opportunities rather than failures. Cultivating this mindset is essential for overcoming self-sabotage and achieving long-term success.
Final Thoughts: Ascending to Your Highest Potential
Overcoming self-sabotage isn’t an overnight process—it’s a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and emotional management. But the rewards are worth it. When you remove the limits you’ve placed on yourself, you open up new possibilities for personal and professional growth.
As a performance mindset coach, I’ve helped countless individuals recognize their self-sabotaging patterns, develop self-awareness, and build the resilience needed to succeed. If you’re ready to break free from the chains of self-sabotage and ascend to your highest potential.
By working through these strategies and building a foundation of emotional intelligence and resilience, you can not only achieve your goals but also thrive in both your personal and professional life.
Ascend Higher
John