How to have your ideas heard

This wasn't going to be the topic of my next article, but a combination of events made me prioritize it:

1) Two women data scientists recently asked me for advice on this topic. Both had very similar experiences of repeatedly bringing a valid issue up in meetings and being ignored, only to see a male colleague later raise the same issue and immediately get people's attention.

2) This thread showed up in my feed today:

Getting our ideas heard and approved is one of the first steps to creating impactful work, so this is something we all should strive to get good at.

And yes, women and minority groups are more likely to experience the biases Sarah is talking about. Unconscious bias shows up even in well-meaning people all the time, and can unjustly influence how our expertise is judged. So the question, How do we address those biases? is perfectly valid here.

The key here is to make sure you don't adopt a victim mindset and start blaming others for rejecting our ideas. This will only make you feel stuck and defeated.

The best strategy to get buy-in and support for your ideas is to work on your process and take responsibility for your outcomes.

Tip #1: Earn the right to have an opinion

If you're trying to change someone's mind, the first step is to do the hard work required to hold an opinion.

As well stated in this Farnam Street post,

The work is the hard part, that’s why people avoid it. You have to do the reading. You have to talk to competent people and understand their arguments. You have to think about the key variables and how they interact over time. You have to listen and chase down arguments that run counter to your views. You have to think about how you might be fooling yourself. You have to see the issue from multiple perspectives. You have to think. You need to become your most intelligent critic and have the intellectual honesty to kill some of your best-loved ideas.

When someone else shares the same idea and people pay attention when they previously ignored you, do a post-mortem. Ask yourself: Did I show up with well-considered opinion that connected with the needs of the business? Is it possible that the other person did a better job finding compelling arguments to construct and defend this idea?

Tip #2: Make sure your delivery isn't undermining your message

Once you've earned the right to have an opinion, work on your delivery. What Solomon said is true: to be heard, you need more than a good message. You also need to be seen as trusted source.

Some people tend to act in ways that undermine their expertise.

Habits like upspeak (when every statement becomes a question) or starting every sentence with disclaimers like "This is a dumb question, but..." will quickly undermine your credibility. As Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, authors of The Leadership Challenge write, “If you don’t believe the messenger, you won’t believe the message.”

This article offers some good reminders on why being heard by others is usually much less about what we say and way more about how we say it.

Tip #3: Never forget to ask WIIFT

When you're preparing to make your case, asking this simple question, What's in it for them? can dramatically increase your chances of being heard.

Consider this example from one of the women who wanted my advice.

She is in a data science project, and noticed that an important step to validate the solution that the team is building hadn't been included in the project plan.

From the team's perspective, saying yes to her idea would increase the scope of the project. Of course, just saying "We need to do X to ensure our solution is fit for purpose," isn't going to be very convincing.

As Seth Godin says, making change happen is much easier when instead of trying to get people to want what we want, we help them get what they want in a way that gets us what we want.

Rather than trying to convince them to do X because she felt it was important, her message would have been much more compelling had she focused on the negative consequences for them of skipping X. Something like,

"Hey, we're all working hard to deliver the best solution to our customer. Do we really want to risk losing our reputation with the client when including X will ensure that doesn't happen?"

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It's true that following these steps won't guarantee results.

Sometimes we're working with people who are insulated against changing their minds, and nothing you do will have the desired effect. If you find yourself in that situation, start polishing your resume and try to get out as soon as possible.

But that is the exception, not the rule. If you see some of colleagues influence others and get their ideas acted upon, this means your audience is open to change. Treat it as an opportunity to problem-solve.

Find a good mentor; mentoring can help level the playing field. Use their help and support, do your homework, make sure you present yourself with confidence, and adopt a WIIFT frame when presenting your ideas, and you will dramatically increase your chances of having your voice heard.

Finally, help each other. When you see someone interrupt a soft-spoken co-worker, make a point to say you'd like to hear her opinion. And if someone steals an idea from one of one of your colleagues, don't hesitate to highlight who originally came up with the concept.

"If you want results you need to be willing to pay the price. The price is both easier than you imagine and harder than you think. The price is consistently doing the small choices that put you on the path to success for years. The price is knowing that time is working on your side even when the results don’t show it … yet."

(Farnam Street - The small steps of giant leaps)