How I Became a Living Donor

In 2012, I had the life-altering experience of donating a kidney. But the organ donation journey started more than six months earlier.

My father-in-law was in end-stage renal failure, spending far too many of his days hooked up to a dialysis machine. He had no quality of life and no prospects for a brighter future.

My husband was the first to step up and offer to donate his kidney and began to undergo tests to see if he was (1) fit and (2) a match.

I'm ashamed to say I was appalled.

I remember arguing about it on our front porch in Lake Ronkonkoma, NY. I couldn't understand how a healthy 47 year old man would offer to give a perfectly good organ to someone - even if that someone was his father. I feared it would cut my husband's life short - and that, naturally, would affect my life. "You'll only have one kidney! You might get sick! What about me?"

I was selfish. Scared...and uneducated.

Turns out, my husband couldn't donate due to his pre-existing condition of high blood pressure. Then it hit me. My father-in-law, already 70 at the time, would be low on the #transplant recipient list to receive a kidney. He might not make it that long.

My father-in-law, Alan was as much - if not more - a 'Dad' to me than my biological father had been in over 20 years. Alan was the one who talked with me about my hopes and dreams as he shared his love of gardening and horticulture; taught me woodworking and helped me to build a cabinet for my collectible dolls; walked me down the aisle to marry his son. To say I loved Dad would be an understatement. It was inconceivable that he die waiting for a kidney.

So, I swallowed my fear and selfishness, and quietly reached out to Dad's care team to start the #organdonor screening and testing process.

We kept it from Dad, not wanting to get his hopes up. The potential #organdonation could get derailed at any step in the screening process.

• How likely could a non-relative match in all the ways necessary? Many tests - immunological, blood labs, even x-rays - needed to take place.
• Testing isn't isolated to just physical compatibility. Could I psychologically handle the donation process?
• Who would be responsible for the costs?

Join me for the next post in a series about my #kidney #donation experience. I will answer these questions as they related to me, share how the care team and my loved ones helped me with my journey, and advise what you need to consider if you are interested in becoming a living organ donor.