How I Deal With Anxiety

Tell me, do you do that too? From time to time I check myself and ask the following questions: "What would you do if you had only one week to live?" and "What would you do if you had a million dollars?" If my answers differ even slightly from my current life, then this is a sign for me that it is time to change something.

If everything were so simple, then my article would end there. Let's go. Nope. Life is much more interesting than our preparations for it.

Something is happening in the world that is beyond my control. I sometimes envy those know-it-alls on social media who know exactly what's going on and how it's going to end. It's good to be that stupid. Even if everything is bad in their opinion, at least they are sure of it. I don't understand a thing, and it really pisses me off. At any moment the situation can change drastically, and I can't influence it in any way. I can lose my job, lose my savings, get sick with some unknown shit from a bat, be left alone, die. And it's not my choice. I can't protect my loved ones. Whatever, I cannot protect myself.

Yes, I can make plans, think positively, unsubscribe from the news, focus on my daily routine. But it's all like the strategy of an ostrich with its head in the sand. And it doesn't help. I pretend it doesn't concern me, but in fact I continue to worry in the background. What does it mean? This means that I, for example, try to work, but I can’t do anything. Then I try to write articles, but I have this "writer's block", there is no inspiration. I want to go to a workout, but instead I sit and eat.

This time, writing an article was incredibly challenging for me. By the way, the writing itself takes probably half an hour to an hour. The hardest part is what comes before writing. During the week, I figure out what to write about, let an idea ripen in my mind. This time, I didn't come up with anything. There were dozens of ideas, and I wrote them all down of course, but they didn't inspire me. I even started to write a few times, but my thoughts were spinning somewhere far away.

Usually my friends help me. I can always discuss something with them and as a result a great idea for an article is born. But now everyone is anxious and scared. Talking to them only distracts me from keeping my spirits up.

Books saved me this time. In one book, the author advised to write at least a little and write about anything when a writer's block occurs. Literally anything and without holding back. For example, write about what annoys you now. By the way, part of what I wrote following this advice formed the basis of this article. Of course, I removed the swear words and edited it five times.

In another book, I came across a famous quote from Martin Luther.

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

This is such a beautiful and inspiring thought! Imagine, a man knows for sure that the end of the world will happen tomorrow, but he still goes and plants a tree. Fabulous. It's so odd, but it calmed me a little. Yes, even if tomorrow is the end of the world, I will still post this job, interview candidates, start reading this book, learn new expressions in Spanish, take a vitamin, clean up, work out, and nonetheless plant this damn tree.