How to Influence tough People?

During our coaching engagement we come across this question. Most of the scrum masters would like to know if there are any techniques which will help them to run the show effectively by influencing tough guys?

a) How do we handle tough Product owners? who will not listen anything?

b) How do we handle tough managers? who is arrogant , dominating and commanding?

c) How do we work with the team members who are very good at their work but will not listen?

d) How do we handle tough customers who are very demanding? and having less patience?

I have got some checklist items to be followed and shared with all the team members who can practices these and get some result.

This is working OK with some of the team members, and personally with me.

Webster’s dictionary defines influence as “the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command,” or “the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways.”

First Let us apply Logical persuading to our target person. Here we will use Logic to explain what we believe or what we want.

So How should we structure this ?

a) Know your audience well. Understand who they are and how they operate. Know what’s important to them and what they would expect from you.

b) Ask, Why would they say yes and why would they say no? What would they find convincing and compelling? How might they argue against what you are proposing (and what will you say if they do)? What issues might they raise (and how will you respond to those issues)?

c) Be clear in your own mind about why they should agree with what you are proposing. Be able to state, as precisely yet simply as possible, your premise as well as the principal facts and arguments supporting your premise.

d) Build your case by finding supporting facts and evidence. If appropriate, find ways to present or display that information in a compelling way.

e) Make your influence attempt at the right time—when people are not pressed by other urgent business and when they have time for thoughtful reflection and to fully hear your arguments.

f) Listen carefully to their responses.Listening, responding thoughtfully, asking questions that engage people in the discussion, and summarizing periodically are techniques that help make logical persuading more effective

g) Influence is often a process rather than an event. We may need to present our case, understand where the resistance lies if people say no, and then return later with a revised case that addresses their resistance.

Some time above approach will not work , when things has to be done , in less time .Where we do not have time to logically influence.We have to apply Appealing to authority(Legitimizing).This should be the last option to use.Use this technique only when you need to.

a) Only cite authorities they will find credible and respect.

b) Refer to policies, procedures, standard practices, rules, regulations, or traditions as the basis for your decision

c) Cite higher authority in making your request or statement.

d) In writing or speaking, use quotations from respected authorities to substantiate or reinforce the points you are making.

At the end use these steps

• When you can, do more for people than they expect. Treat them well, and they will remember it—and reciprocate.
• Act with confidence
• Avoid being aggressive
• Try to use a compelling tone of voice
• Use assertive nonverbal to emphasize your points.
• You are just trying to express your opinion in a clear and self-confident way.

Reference : Elements of influence, by Terry R. Bacon