How to Make Friends at Work

People who have friends at work generally experience more success and are more engaged in their jobs. However, employers don’t always make time for workers to get to know each other. It may be up to you to initiate friendships in the workplace.

By Timothy Mably 

It can be a challenge to make friends at work, but when you can befriend colleagues, the workplace is a more enjoyable atmosphere. Although your professional and personal lives should remain separate, your job doesn’t have to be an isolating experience. 

A positive work culture should encourage and stimulate relationships among workers. Navigating professional relationships requires intentionality beyond networking but leads to many benefits. Whether your friendships remain only in the workplace throughout the week or they extend to hangouts on the weekends, building good rapport is important.

Healthy work relationships help to build trust, support, and collaboration skills, allowing workers to thrive together. According to Gallup, people who have a best friend at their job are more likely to be engaged in their work and succeed. Workplace friendships can also counteract burnout and provide incentive to stay in a position long term. 64% of women who have a best friend at their jobs have expressed strongly they are twice as likely to be engaged in their work. 

Create Opportunities

Depending on your field and position, there may not be many opportunities to get to know colleagues. Although you should take every chance you have to converse and touch base with others, like in team meetings, you should also create opportunities. It may seem normal to only spend time engaging with coworkers on LinkedIn, during one-on-ones, or through emails. It could be up to you to break the cycle. 

In everyday life, friendships may feel like they are made organically over time. However, at work, you may need to be assertive and mindful of making friends by reaching out. Without forcing a friendship, you can be friendly with coworkers and make the first move by showing openness. This can happen through a Slack message, at a lunch break, or whenever is convenient.

As a result, coworkers may feel more comfortable around you and will be more likely to engage. They may recognize your intention for genuine connection and understand you aren’t trying to use them to network. This comfort can alleviate stress caused by work and lead to greater productivity for both parties. While your boss may integrate icebreaker activities, you can demonstrate leadership skills by being the first to try to connect. This is an example of interpersonal skills and authentic team building that will contribute to the broader workplace culture.

During a LinkedIn Learning course, leadership speaker and inclusion consultant Selena Rezvani says, “Friends can act as role models that we can emulate or a source of inspiration, but friends can also boost our efforts by engaging in a shared activity with us, motivating us to go further than we'd go alone.”

It may be a temptation to only reach out to those who are similar to you in some way. However, work relationships are a chance to build bridges with people who are different from you, with intentions outside of networking. This could mean they come from a personal background you cannot relate to, or they are in a role that contrasts your own. Regardless of differences, they may still value cultivating work friendships.

Set Boundaries

As you create opportunities to potentially form friendships, you should also keep boundaries in mind. Work relationships can feel like a space to share personal details or gossip about other coworkers. Both of these can derail a professional culture and spark problems. If someone is aware you are gossiping about a coworker, they may think you could be talking about them behind their back too.

Rezvani says, “If you're gossiping or you're befriending someone, who's a known gossip, it's a quick way for you to lose credibility. People may assume you're unproductive spending your time talking badly of others and even worse, it can hurt people's trust in you.” 

Whether you set boundaries for yourself or you make them known to others, they can be an impactful tool to avoid a variety of issues. When sharing your boundaries with someone, they may feel comfortable doing the same. It’s possible they may not know their own boundaries or are not confident in conveying them. This is how your willingness to share may help them reciprocate.

For that reason, you should be thoughtful in how you interact and remain empathetic. Otherwise, you may do more harm than good. Just as friendships can have a positive impact in a workplace, they can also have a negative one.

Be Honest

If you feel that a personal boundary has been broken, consider the most productive way to convey it. Keep in mind that you will continue to have to interact with your coworker as you both share an employer. To prevent bitterness that may get in the way of productivity, address an issue directly. 

Rezvani says, ”All of us get it wrong sometimes but by directly telling your friend your needs, you give them a chance to correct an issue. With practice, you just might start to see limit-setting as the ultimate form of respect and open communication.”

By offering support to coworkers, you will help cultivate a healthy work culture. This level of trust and honesty opens up conversations to constructive criticism. In a work setting where colleagues don’t bond as friends, feedback may be accompanied by tension. However, offering positive feedback and tips for improvement can be a form of encouragement. By seeking to benefit your coworkers, you can begin to earn their trust. 

Making friends at work requires intentionality and thoughtfulness. Although not all of your coworkers may be open to a relationship, even solely in the workplace, it’s worth the effort. Your job may not feel like work when you have supportive colleagues by your side.

Top Takeaways

How can you make friends at work?

• Be assertive and reach out to someone you would like to be friends with.
• Be mindful of boundaries and be thoughtful in how you speak with coworkers.
• Avoid gossip as work friends may assume you could also be speaking about them behind their backs.
• Be honest about conflicts to avoid bitterness and be open to both providing and receiving feedback.