How to Make the Most of a Networking Lunch

Networking is as mysterious as it is essential. Some people are naturally great at it. Others have to learn by doing.

One of the best ways to network is with a one-on-one lunch. For 60 to 90 minutes, you and your contact have each other's undivided attention. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to pitch a new investor, or a job seeker looking to impress a possible boss, an hour or more of uninterrupted face-time is an incredible opportunity—if you make the most of it. Here's how:

1. Show up on time and confirm beforehand. Seems pretty basic, but I've had lunch meetings end with me or my companion sitting at a table alone because one of us failed to confirm beforehand. Always find time the day before to confirm the time and place of the lunch so that you're both on the same page. And always arrive a few minutes early—being late is the easiest way to give someone a piece of information that can be used to pre-judge you.

2. Be well read. I get it. You're extremely busy building your business. You're working 24/7 at your job. There's really no excuse, though, to not be up-to-date on major world news events. Remember that whoever you're trying to impress will have a lot of other interests besides his or her own business—being able to show that you're well-versed in politics, sports, or entertainment will enhance your conversational abilities, not to mention make you a more interesting person. I haven't spoken to one single successful person who isn't a voracious reader of newspapers and news sites.

3. Try to find a personal connection. Robert Wolf, a former Wall Street banker and one of President Obama's close friends, is a master networker. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone he can't get to with his vast Rolodex. Wolf says he makes it a special point to remember personal details of people he's just met, which helps in fostering a connection outside of business. "I'm always putting notes in my contacts," he said in an episode of the Radiate podcast. "If I'm having lunch or dinner with someone, and they tell me that their daughter is going to Penn, I like to remember those things. Those things are important."

4. Take the other person's lead on ordering. There's usually an alpha at the table who sets the tone, even if he or she is being extremely deferential, saying things like "Please go ahead" when the waiter or waitress comes. Make sure you figure out what the alpha wants to do so you don't go and order the three-course meal when he or she needs to run in 60 minutes. Or order wine when the other abstains. There's a certain etiquette when dining with someone new. Again, don't trip up on small things that allow people to make judgments. ("Well, he sure likes those three-martini lunches.")

If you want to really go above and beyond, you can even try and research your contact's dietary preferences. Gary Vaynerchuk, Jessica Herrin, Mellody Hobson, and other rockstar entrepreneurs share theirs in this Radiate video:

5. Know how to graciously end a meal. Nobody likes to look at his or her watch or phone during a meal, but at some point, you know you have to go. The problem is, often people wait until the very end of a meal to leap into the one thing they've wanted to talk about. The best way to effectively end a lunch date is to say to your lunch partner, "What time is your next appointment?" This gives that person an excuse to check the time and say when he or she has to leave so that you know when you'll need to wrap up. Lingering on and on in a conversation is excruciating, while ending abruptly without delivering the goods is a total waste of time. So once coffee is served, ask the key question and then execute on the out.

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