How to Make Your Relationships Thrive: From Coworkers to Close Friends

Everyday Better is LinkedIn News’ weekly personal development podcast and weekly newsletter hosted by Leah Smart, a LinkedIn News Editor. You’ll hear from some of the world's brightest minds and bravest hearts who use science and story to share strategies for how we can flourish individually, in relationship to others and to the world around us. We talk about improving emotional, work, physical and relational health.

This Week on Everyday Better 💡🎧

Do you know the magic ratio of positive to negative interactions in a strong relationship? If not, you're in good company. Whether you have a large circle of friends and family or are looking to build a new social group, knowing how to make relationships flourish is invaluable.

One key piece of knowledge is that the ideal ratio of positive to negative interactions is 5:1 for a relationship to thrive. In other words, for every negative encounter, there need to be five positive interactions to rebalance the relationship. Without this and other insights about relationships, many of us unintentionally fail to rebalance the scales.

This week's guest is social relationship expert, Shasta Nelson . She's an advocate for educating others on building or maintaining meaningful adult friendships. With over 15 years of research and several books, Shasta has become a spokesperson on the importance of friendship in every environment where we spend time.

Her most recent book,The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time, positions friendships at work as highly beneficial to employees and employers. She argues, "organizations benefit as friendships at work result in higher levels of workplace productivity, employee retention, safety, innovation, collaboration, and profitability."

In our conversation, Shasta shared research and guidance from the most recent book, along with her others, Frientimacy and Friendships Don't Just Happen!, which she says many adults are hungry for. One of her most salient points was that she identified three components that every relationship needs to thrive. She says that in relationships that don't feel quite right or fizzle out, one of these components is likely missing. Conversely, when all of them are present, a relationship sits on a strong foundation.

Listen here or click below👇🏾 to learn what the three components are and how to close the gap if they're missing.

If you're committed to possibility, you need to start with acceptance. Shasta Nelson encourages you to do this by asking yourself: How loved and supported do I feel right now?

Try rating how you feel on a 1-10 scale in different environments. For example, I was at an 8 while recording our interview, but I've certainly had moments where I slid down the scale and then climbed back up.

This rating brings clarity about where you stand and what you might need. From here, Shasta encourages you to ask yourself what kind of love and/or support you need right now. By doing so, you intentionally seek out what you're looking for.

For example, if you need uplifting support on a work project, it could seem obvious to reach out to someone else working on the project. But if that person also needs support, you might end up with someone to vent to, rather than someone who is cheering you on. A simple way to figure this out is by asking: What kind of support am I craving right now? Then, follow through by clearly sharing that with whoever you reach out to.

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Long read: The Social Biome by Andy J. Merolla and Jeffrey A. Hall (available for pre-order)

Short read: "How to Make Friends? Study Reveals How Many Hours it Takes"

Study: How Many Hours Does it Take to Make a Friend?

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Everyday Better is LinkedIn News’ weekly personal development podcast hosted by Leah Smart, a LinkedIn News Editor. You’ll hear from some of the worlds brightest minds and bravest hearts about how to live with more clarity and intention every day, in and out of work. Subscribe to the show's newsletter.

🏆 This year, Everyday Better was awarded a gold medal for "Best Self-Development/Self-Help" podcast from the Signal Awards, one of the most distinguished honors in podcasting. Thanks to you, our community, for helping our work flourish by listening to, watching, and reading it! If you haven't had the chance, please rate us on Apple or Spotify so we can continue bringing you well-being experts and practical insights.