How to manage feelings of helplessness 💪

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Your inner narrative shapes your world. What's the script you're living by?

It’s crucial to be aware of the story we tell ourselves because it holds incredible power over our mindset. Phrases like "HE made me mad," "THEY hurt my feelings," or "SHE'S holding me back" can become a repetitive mantra in our minds, leaving us feeling powerless and trapped within the confines of a victim mentality. I know because I've been there too.😩

But here’s the thing: Just as the stories we tell ourselves can keep us in a victim mindset, we possess the extraordinary ability to rewrite that narrative, transitioning into a Creator Mode — a far more empowering state of being.

It's important to clarify that when discussing the shift from victim to creator, I'm not referring to victims of violence. Victims of violence are not at fault, and their experiences are entirely different. Instead, I'm addressing those who perceive themselves as victims of circumstances they can change.

Embracing a Creator Mindset places you firmly in the driver's seat of your life. It means taking responsibility and decisive action. You actively seek solutions, transforming complaints into purposeful requests or well-thought-out plans. It's about charting a new, empowering path forward.

So, how do we make this switch a tangible reality in our daily lives? Here are a few practical examples:

• Victim: "I'm stuck in this dead-end job because my boss never recognizes my potential."                 Creator: "I've realized my current job doesn't align with my career goals. I'm actively exploring new opportunities and networking to find a role that suits me better."
• Victim: "My coworkers always overshadow me in meetings, so my ideas never get heard."                       Creator: "I've observed that I need to enhance my communication skills. I'm working on presenting my ideas more confidently and seeking mentorship to improve."
• Victim: "The workload is overwhelming, and it's their fault for piling on tasks."                                                                                                                 Creator: "I recognize that I need to manage my workload better. I'm developing a plan to prioritize tasks, say no more, and delegate when necessary for a more balanced workload."
• Victim: "The company culture is toxic, and it's dragging me down."            Creator: "I acknowledge the challenges in our culture. I'm initiating conversations with colleagues to create a more positive work environment, and I'm also considering external options if needed."

Notice the shift? Challenge yourself to transform disempowering statements in a similar way, and maximize your approach with the techniques below:

Quick Confidence Tips to Shift from Victim to Creator Mode:

1. Embodied: Divide and conquer. Research highlights a key distinction between those who embody Creator traits and those who embrace Victim traits – it's all about compartmentalization. Creators tend to segregate their sense of helplessness to specific areas of life, while Victims often generalize failures in one area to mean failure in life as a whole. The next time you find a disempowering narrative playing in your mind, jot down your thoughts and then physically put them in a box (or another designated space). You can always revisit them later, but this simple act sends a powerful signal to your brain that it's okay to pause the negativity.
2. Interpersonal: Summon the progress principle. In moments of helplessness — for yourself or others, remember the magic of the Progress Principle. Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer's extensive research reveals that making meaningful progress in your work fuels motivation and happiness. When supporting your colleagues, team members, or leaders through their moments of vulnerability, consider offering your assistance or resources to advance their projects or initiatives. Alternatively, focus on uplifting them through your actions and words, reminding them of how far they've come.
3. Mindset: Leverage the equation of empowerment. E+R=O or Event + Response = Outcome is a formula I adore because it encapsulates a fundamental truth – it's not just about what happens to you; it's about how you respond that determines the end result. When it comes to fully embracing your role as a Creator, this equation holds immense significance. While not all "events" are equal (an injustice differs from a minor setback), for those everyday hiccups, resist the urge to leap directly from an Event (like a job rejection) to the final Outcome (like assuming no one will ever hire you). Remember that you hold a pivotal role in determining the outcome – your Response!

As psychologist Martin Seligman teaches us, the antidote to "learned helplessness" is learned experimentation, optimism, and determination. 

Remember, the power to choose – and create – what comes next is in your hands. Craft something extraordinary.

What area of your life could benefit from a shift into creator mode? What fresh narrative will empower this shift? Let's encourage and support one another by sharing in the comments below.

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