How to Mentally Seduce a Woman: Stimulate her brain.

Men’s and women’s brains operate in different and mysterious ways. It’s like comparing a GPS with real-time traffic updates (finding always the best route based on current conditions to re-route YOU), with an old-fashioned map (a bit lost if things don’t go as planned).

Don't get me wrong, both are useful, but female brains are busier, and you wouldn’t want to swap their roles. Women have much busier brains compared with men. Women’s brains are busier than your mamma in the kitchen during Thanksgiving, and more dangerous than a toddler after a Halloween candy binge. No wonder they can never decide what they want to eat. By the time J finished weighing all her options, the restaurants are already closed!

Women’s brains are good for problem-solving, a problem they’ve previously created from scratch in the other hand. They call this “multitasking.” It’s like they are in a perpetual game of 3D chess, while we, men are just trying to remember where we left our keys. We rely on a more localized effort. Thinking on: NOTHING.

Yes, when you gals ask what are we thinking, and we say “in nothing”, 99% of the time is nothing, and the other 0,1% we are thinking: what did I do? I did nothing.

Men’s Brains are, The Final Frontier of Emptiness, like a microwave on standby—there’s power, but nothing’s cooking. It’s like checking the fridge for food you know isn’t there—you’re hoping for a miracle, but it’s just an empty shelf.

Now, do you wanna know how to decode the Female Brain?

How to seduce your partner’s mind?

Do you really wanna make her brain wet?

Well, seducing a woman doesn't all come down to your physical appearance.  Take it from me, a certified Adonis who’s often mistaken for David Villa. Yes, that David Villa—the soccer legend who could score goals like James Bond defusing bombs, effortlessly and with a killer smile. David Villa is regarded as one of the best strikers of his generation, a very handsome soccer player, and I am often mistaken for him.

Maybe it was the heroic stance of my knees, maybe the three-day beard look straight out of a gritty action movie or maybe the credentials hanging from my neck, the thing is, I was reporting the Soccer World Cup down in Brazil, and some local kids saw me, and decided I was David Villa. Now, I could have corrected them, but who am I to crush their dreams? I signed autographs and took selfies for almost 30 minutes. It wasn’t vanity; it was my duty to bring joy to the little ones, like a Disney character at a theme park.

The second time, however, was pure Hollywood vanity.  I’m about to interview a famous soccer player, the kind whose name alone could headline an action blockbuster. But my producer had forgotten to charge the microphone batteries and dashed off like Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible to find new ones. I stood there, trying to play it cool, but inside, I was panicking like Taylor Swift at an ex-boyfriend convention hosted by Kanye West.

And then it happened again. Maybe it was the credentials, maybe it was my Oscar-worthy calm demeanor, or maybe it was the power of my knees (again). Two gorgeous Brazilian women approached me. They asked for a selfie with “David Villa” and even invited me to a party later that night. Well, they had welcomed me to their country with open arms, so naturally, I hoped their lower extremities would be just as welcoming. After all, who was I to deny happiness to these lovely ladies?

I know, I know, how it sounds but let me give you an explanation: I’d heard that in Brazil, women are a temptation, so led by a sensation and being in their location, who was I to deny these women a demonstration? And perhaps, in doing so, contribute to the next soccer marvel generation.

Anyways, and back to my original point, to Mentally Seduce a Woman, engage her mind with intellectually flirty conversations, with whimsy. Jokes can go a long way in making yourself more attractive to her. So yes, if you want to stimulate and blow a woman's brain, make her laugh. Tell her funny personal stories, but never, ever tell her about the time you almost hooked up with 2 Brazilian girls.

But the quickest and most effective way to blow her brain is directly to blow into her nostrils, so I did that until J screamed:

MY BRAIN IS WET.

MY BRAIN IS WET!

Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure but hey I'm nothing if not efficient.

I had successfully Seduced my Woman and Stimulated her brain with a more direct approach. After all, the female brain is generally quicker at assessing the thoughts of others based on limited information, gut feelings, and hunches. 

So, how come she didn't see it coming?

And why she can't decide what she wants to eat?