HOW TO BE A MORE EFFECTIVE LEADER!

Sharing some of my own learning and struggles in leadership role. I was not a born leader so I had to learn leadership skills from other leaders training and mostly from my mistakes.

Hope these few points can help the managers transiting to leadership roles. Also help senior leaders introspect and review their style to become more effective. 

1. Never criticize any person.

  - it makes people defensive , annoyed and lose self confidence

 - instead understand their situations and empathise , maybe in their unique situation , they did what they thought was right. Help them understand the results of the incident, so that  they learn from the incident for the future

Ordering people to do something is effective but not motivating enough. Instead find a way to appeal to their desire for recognition by executing the tasks and they will be more enthusiastic and motivated to complete the task very willingly. Appeal to one of their desires to motivate them. 

1. Appreciation is the biggest reward everyone seeks in his life. Unfortunately we as leaders do not use it as a motivator, often we believe that our role as a leader is to criticise and point out errors.                          

       Please just try and use appreciation with your team by recognising any event or situation they did well. You will be amazed at their enthusiasm and commitment. Appreciation is lot more powerful than criticism. Use this power to get better results.

Allow the team to make mistakes as long as they learn from each mistake. People are smart and they learn fast.

1. When asking any one to do something which you desire, please remember that no one is interested in what you desire but everyone in focused on what he/she desires. So the best way to get positive response is to understand the other person desires and appeal to that and the how the task you wish to get done supports the desire of that person. Desires can be recognition, pride, or any thing. As an example if you tell a kid that eating healthy will make the kid stronger and ready to fight the bully in school , he is more likely to be enthusiastic about eating better. Same applies to all business situations , focus on how the other party benefits from your requested actions.
2. Always smile when meeting people. Cheerfulness spreads positive attitude and you are as seen as a friendly positive person who is confident and capable. People love to be led by such leaders. No one likes a grouchy person. 
3. Try and address people with their names. Take effort to recall the names and if possible some of their interests of details of their family. This shows that you care about them and respect their association with you. Often this is not easy but with notes on mobiles and phone numbers you can work out your own system to help you. Using first name makes an instant connection and strengthens relationships. I had difficulty practising so now have names of family in the phone book to easily recall when calling anyone. This particularly very powerful tool when used with security folks , office staff or canteen staff. Works well with shopkeepers too. Try it and you will be amazed at the service and smiles you start getting from them. For everyone his or her name is the sweetest sound in the world so us it as often as you can
4.  First impressions are important. So make sure that you dress well for any occasion , it better to be dressed better than required. If meeting is casual you wear a jacket to be distinguished, if it casual dress code , you wear a tie and jacket. Getting well dressed gives you self confidence and it reflects in your interactions with others.
5. When speaking to others invite others to talk about themselves to learn more about them. Talk about yourself later in the conversations. It shows that you respect the other person and keen to appreciate their achievements. People are more interested in themselves than  you. By showing interest in them , you make them happy and friendly with you. It’s the easiest way to become a better conversationalist. Just be an attentive and engaged listener. Keep a smile and eye contact with the person , encourage with few nods and hmmm
6. Listening attentively is the most powerful and easy method of making friends, handling an irate customer or employee. Most people fail to use listening as a tool to solve issues. All an irate customer wants is some one who will allow him/her express their disappointment without any defensive retort. All you have to do is to allow the person say whatever he/ she wishes and nod with empathy. Often it ends the issue or complaint because you listened and accepted the complaint without protest. Most people are keen to speak their minds and ideas so tend to interrupt the speaker. Learn to be patient even if you have strong disagreement with what is being said. By listening you are respecting the other person and that respect is what solves the issue and makes you a friend. Just ensure that your eyes are on the speaker with a smile . Few nods to acknowledge that you are attentive help. Avoid any interruption when the person is in flow. Simple practice with superb results. Your ears are the real assets  so use them. 
7. Before you meet someone you wish to engage with , try and find out more about the person. What are his interests in life, what are his proud moments or accomplishments or what are the colleges he/ she attended. These days social media has lots of such information accessible. So when you meet the person talk about some of these things which you had noted. Everyone is interested in admiration and his topics of interest so conversation becomes easy and you will capture his / her attention right away.                                                     Another useful method is to notice things around the office of the person you are visiting and talk about any one of them. A painting or a photograph or a display art!            It’s also very useful to speak to the executive assistant of the person you are visiting so do spend a little time getting to know the assistant , it will be handy when seeking appointments and you will enjoy priority.
8. Sincere appreciation leads to great conversations. If you can identify some thing to appreciate just go ahead and express it. Every person wants to be appreciated for his skills , his choices , his office , his hobbies , so just find out any of these to appreciate and your engagement and conversations will flow easy. 
9. Learn to say thank you for each and every service.  You will experience superb services. Thanks is an expression of gratitude and it pleases the receiver. You received wrong food vs order , just say thank you but you would prefer what you ordered instead to being critical of the server. You are accepting an error without complaint. 
10. Sometimes it’s better not to argue and allow the other person be happy with his / her views even though you know the person is wrong. Allowing the person to win his argument will make the person feel great and respected. You have nothing to lose. Argument lead to winner and loser but your aim is to make friends not being a winner! Arguments are often based on opinions which are subjective and  intelligent people do not debate opinions. Avoid telling people that they are wrong as they will then defend their view passionately. Instead say that you may be wrong as you never thought that way. This approach will keep conversation open and together you can examine facts and rationality. Allowing People to hold their opinions shows respect and makes them open to your views.                                                                  Arguments lead to defensive behavior and  unlikely to bring change in thoughts.
11. Finally , great leaders do not feel shy in admitting that they do not know everything , ready to admit their mistakes and are ready to learn all the times