How my stutter helped me to speak

Speaking is something that comes so naturally to so many of us. It's like walking. We do it without thinking too much about it, yet it just happens. But for me, speaking is something that I think about all the time due to my stutter.

Since the age of about six, I've had so many challenges when speaking. My stutter made it difficult for me to use my voice in even the simplest of situations. I used to stutter on every other word, take several attempts at saying those words, and force it out until I was in pain.

These experiences built up negative thoughts, avoidance of situations and even prevented me at times from speaking at all. Usually, when I knew I was going to stutter, I'd stay quiet and keep what I had to say to myself in silence.

Over time, I learned that I did not want to stay quiet and that what I wanted to say was important. I knew that to do this, I needed to understand my stutter. To become more comfortable with it, just like with walking.

I decided to dive headfirst into the speaking situations that I used to fear, one word at a time. No matter how little I came out of my comfort zone, this gave me the feeling like I'd accomplished something, and I could now set my sights on achieving my next goal. My comfort zone started to expand, and I soon learned that most of the negative thoughts in my head were not true. People wanted to listen to what I had to say, no matter how I said it.

One thing that's helped me the most is meeting other people just like me, who stutter. Sharing experiences and realizing that you are not alone. That in fact, there are nearly 80 million other people in the world who stutter who have been through something similar, just like you.

The community of people who stutter has supported me in understanding my stutter. They've shaped me for who I am today and have supported me in the tougher times. Now, I'm on the board of an international stuttering association, and I mentor other people who stutter.

Each year, we celebrate International Stuttering Awareness Day, where we all come together and share our stories about stuttering to create a more inclusive world. That day happens to be today (October 22nd), and I hope that in reading this, you've become a little bit more aware of what it's like for 1% of the worldwide population who stutter.

Every now and then, we encounter a challenging situation where we have to tackle our fears. For me, I recently gave a best man's speech in front of many people at the amazing Lauren & Tommy's wedding. I've always viewed a best man's speech as something I'd avoid, like the plague, but now that I better understand my stutter, I wanted to do it. The speech went so well, I said exactly what I wanted to say, and there were many claps, laughs, and tears.

Having a stutter has given me more awareness about what I'm saying. It's provided me with empathy for others, realizing that there might be more to them than what you see or hear. Stuttering has unlocked a part of me that I will treasure forever. It has helped me to speak.

Written by Gareth Walkom - Founder, withVR